If you haven't seen this over-technologized piece of marketing "genius" yet, here's what happens: the mountain logo on the Coors Light label turns blue to let you know the beer is cold. Thank God. The old method of actually having to touch the bottle was way too much trouble. What's next ad execs? A label that lets me know when the cap has been twisted off?

So I started thinking... Why can't we get some indicator labels guys could really use? As an aid for those guys who make the rest of us look bad. Here's five I'd like to see:


1 - The Way Too Much Cologne Indicator Label. The label turns green before you make the rest of us turn green. Listen, buddy, I know you love your Drakkar, but you're supposed to dab it on, not marinade in it.

2 - The Hair Product Limiter Indicator Label. When your hair is holding more product than a Wal-Mart shelf, it'll tell you it's time to stop.

3 - The Manscaping Overboard Indicator Label. When the label turns pink, you know you've gone a little too far with the razor. (Side note: unless you're the lead singer in a boy band, ease up on the eyebrow tweezing too.)

4 - The Moose Knuckle Indicator Label. If it turns blue, your pants are way too tight. Period. Yeah, we know, you're huge. We can see that. But I'm pretty sure they make those jeans a size or two larger.

5 - The Ready or Not Indicator Label. This is one we put on the ladies. Red let's us know whether or not you're ready - and willing - so we can stop wasting money on drinks and throwing out bad pick up lines.