Ah, Nicolas Cage. You are what we talk about when we talk about fucking awesome. With your facial ticks and violent body spasms. When life handed you lemons like droopy eyes and that greasy thing on your head that you call your hair, you went out and made a shit ton of cash.
How do you do it? Sure, you’ve turned in some great performances. But for every Adaptation
and Matchstick Men
there is a mountain of garbage like Knowing
and Bangkok Dangerous
... cinematic turds that surely would have ended the careers of your typical actors.
The secret is your other roles - the performances so balls-tremblingly over the top that all we can do is stare like slack-jawed hill folk.
And now you have the brass cojones to remake the immortal Bad Lieutenant
, a movie so wonderfully depraved that Harvey Keitel whacking away on his little detective is only the 2nd most disturbing thing about it. Most actors would have shit themselves when faced with a challenge of this magnitude. But not you. No, you strapped on a goofy accent, grabbed your lucky crack pipe and shouted “giddyup!”
Well sir, all we can say is kudos to you, because it looks like you win again. In honor of what will surely be your finest hour, we salute you with a list of your craziest achievements, five movies that cement your place in the hall of the gods.
WILD AT HEART
Nicolas Cage shows off his man-boner for Elvis (not literally) in this, David Lynch’s tribute to road movie’s and, um, The Wizard Of Oz. As with all of Lynch’s films, Wild At Heart is completely bat shit crazy. Cage isn’t even the craziest thing about it (that honor belongs to Willem Dafoe, but that’s a story for another time.), but his performance is still an all-timer as he sneers, sings, and teaches punks not to mess with his girl... or his jacket.
This highly plausible film exploits all of Cage’s strengths – corrupting virginal young choir girls, blowing shit up, and hypnotizing the audience with his patented crazy eyes.
THE WICKER MAN
Nicolas Cage. In a bear suit. Punching women in the face.
And then, bees.
Cage has always had trouble with accents (see: every movie he’s ever been in), but honestly, what the fuck is happening in this clip? Combine that with his body’s violent yuppie-spasms, it’s like the spirit of an angry James Spader is trying to tourette’s it’s way out of his body.
There is absolutely no way to put into words the insanity contained by the following clips. Cage snorts and punches his way through this movie, and proceeds to go completely insane. It’s astounding that he ever acted again, let alone won an Oscar TWO YEARS later. HI-FUCKING-YA!
For more Nic Cage insanity check out:
Nic Cage's Top 10 Ladies
Nic Cage Crappers