The market for premium cigars has certainly not taken a nap during the economic slowdown. With over 15 billion (yes, that’s a B) of the brown beauties sold in the U.S. alone last year alone, the premium cigar market got a 30% bump in sales over last year. (Must be the bankers celebrating the bailout bonuses.) And when I say “premium” I am not talking about those oversized, pseudo-cigars for which Monica Lewinsky had a penchant. I'm talking about top-of-the-line, impress your friends, smoke with your Cristal, cigars.

And Goldwin Tobacco isn’t going to let a little economic downturn stand in its way. Actually, they are basically giving the one-finger salute to the recession with their latest creation: Ultra-premium Louixs Rosado cigars.

Don’t think Cadillac CTS, think Bugatti Veyron.

It took some serious development effort to bring these bad boys to your local tobacconist, but what emerged from the cavernously moist jungles of Nicaragua after five years, can only be described as the cigar world’s map of the human genome. Yeah, it’s that good.

Named for the longest-reigning monarch in French history (mirror fetish anyone?), the Louixs Rosado has been perfected and their processing has elevated the term hand-made to new heights. Every aspect of their production is done by hand. Everything. So why do you care? Well, for starters, it means that you will be lucky to get your hands on one of the only 800 boxes that are produced each month and that if you have to ask how much they cost you probably don’t want to know. OK, I’ll tell you. They are $50 a pop. Thank you sir, may I have another.

While they may not be within reach of the average Joe for everyday puffing pleasure, they are certainly great for those über-special occasions like births, promotions, bachelor parties, curing cancer, and perfecting time travel.

If you simply can’t wait to get your lips around 60-gauges of ludicrous luxury, you can find Goldwin’s Louixs Rosados cigars at the Beverly Hills Cigar Club (www.beverlyhillscigarclub.com) and other fine establishments across the country. You can also ring up Don Michael, cigar broker to the stars (www.DonMichael.com). He’ll hook you up. They truly are the best cigars you can have without skirting any international trade embargos.