The Roger Clemens “Living in Denial 2009 Tour” had its first stop this week on the Mike & Mike radio show, where the disgraced pitcher stubbornly maintained his stance that he did not use performance-enhancing drugs, despite mountains of evidence to the contrary.

Clemens’ next stop? What should be friendlier confines: Houstonist.com, which somehow managed to land the opportunity to have an e-mail chat with the native Texan, who wrote, “I welcome the chance to answer the questions of your readers.”

Surely, Clemens is prepared for the hard-hitting softball questions picked for him by the editors of the site, so I decided to come up with a few of my own...

1 - How does it feel to have your head expand by three sizes? Does it hurt? Did you have to buy all new hats? Cut bigger holes in your shirts to get your noggin through?

2 - What would you like to be most remembered for? Lying or cheating?

3 - Since you threw your wife under the bus, identifying her as a steroid user, would you say the Little Rocket has been grounded in the bedroom?

4 - A 15-year-old Mindy McCready? Really?

5 - Do you think your groundbreaking role as Skidmark in “Kingpin” will help you in prison?

6 - Does Jose Canseco have a better shot into getting into the Hall of Fame than you?

7 - Who’s better at poker? You, Barry Bonds or Alex Rodriguez?