Ever say something to a drunk buddy and think you could be saying the exact same thing to a 4-year-old? Me too. So I've put together this list of a few common phrases that are perfectly appropriate to say to a little kid, and your 'faced friend on a weekend bender.

[Did I miss any? Got some of your own? I want to hear them... Put 'em in the comments below.]

Pull up your pants. (Male)
Stop pulling up your skirt (Female)

Why are you crying?

(Patting on the back) Don't worry, it'll be all right.

No, you can not bring that home.

Did you just pee in your pants?

Stop yelling, I'm right here.

I can't understand a word you're saying.

You've had enough. Put the bottle down.