With Valentine’s Day approaching, you single guys may feel a little left out. But don’t sweat it. You can always turn to the old standby: picking up a cougar.
Or rather, letting a cougar pick you up. And according to Ilona Paris, author of the book, Hot Cougar Sex, the best places to make yourself available as cougar bait are: the gym, the grocery store, Home Depot (typical pickup line: “Can you help me? I’m looking for some caulk.”), sports bars, the Puma store, and tanning salons, where they’re working their skin into a leathery brown.
Once firmly in your cougar’s dragon-nailed grasp, there are some things Ilona recommends you never say. Until, of course, it’s time to get her to move on. (She’s got eight, but I’m sure there are more. So feel free to add them in the comments below.)
1. So, how old are you?
2. (When she mentions a historic event) I wasn’t born then.
3. (When she tunes in a station on the car radio) That music is from the old days.
4. Don’t you have an iPod/iPhone/other high-tech device?
5. You don’t use Botox, do you?
6. Do you dye your hair?
7. You might want to work out more to tighten things up.
And finally, 8. Cosmos are so old fashioned.