If you've been reading my posts for a while you know I'm not a fan of the whole "metrosexual" thing. (I don't want to get all wound up again, so you'll have to read it here.) But I am smart enough to appreciate that some overall good has come out of the metro marketing push.

One of the positives is that guys finally have a large variety of quality grooming products to choose from. (Note to true metrosexuals: I said - and meant - "grooming products" not "makeup". Calm down.) And judging from the boxes stacked up here at The Pad, sent in from many of those companies that target guys who care about how we look - which, for those of you keeping score at home, is an $18 billion a year market - we have a ton of excellent options to choose from. As opposed to having to rifle through our girlfriend's stuff. Looking for something to wash our face with. That doesn't leave us smelling like wildflowers on a spring day.

We need stuff made for a man's face. A face that faces a triple-edged razor scraping across it on a daily basis. A face that endures the sun and dirt and grime of a construction site. That deals with cigar smoke. Ingrown hairs. Razor burn. And all the other things women's faces don't have to endure. (Well, most women.)

Amenity, a maker of grooming products for men, is pioneering Clinical Grooming, which provides guys with physician-developed products that address the uniqueness of the thicker and oilier male derma.

Because good grooming is much more than simply shaving, Amenity's line includes a gel cleanser, an anti-breakout gel, shave cream, after shave moisturizer, and The Balm, an excellent all-around moisturizer. Which is great, because it means less thinking (and shopping) on our part. Just give me a solution for each problem and I'm happy.

All their skin products feature Pro-Form 6, a complex that they say is the all-in-one solution for a guy's skin. It contains Willow Bark Extract to reduce razor burn and ingrown hairs, Rutin to reduce redness, Provitamin B5 to condition skin, Bisabolol to prevent irritation, Hyaluronic Acid to moisturize, and Liposomal Vitamins A,C & E to prevent signs of aging. Yeah, I don't understand any of that either. I leave it to the guys in white coats. I just know I tried the stuff and it works.

And it's all oil, alcohol and fragrance free. So I smell just the way nature intended me to. Flower free.

www.getamenity.com

Straight from the I-Swear-I-Am-Not-Making-This-Up files: Evening Post Ventures and Evening Post Publishing Co. -- owner of The Post and Courier, the South's oldest daily newspaper -- announced last week that April 2007 will see the launch of their new lifestyle magazine, "Garden & Gun".

Garden. And Gun. I had no idea gardening involved semi-automatic weapons. Or that my neighbor, Mrs. O'Hurlehey, could be packing whist she cheerfully tends to her begonias. (Remind me to stop "sampling" her beefsteak tomatoes when she's not home.)

I'm hoping for this magazine to be a huge success. So we see a trend in more mixed hobby magazines. I'm pulling for "Knitting & Nunchucks" next.

Pickle, a next-generation video and photo sharing service, recently unveiled their Pickle Channels. (The sheer magnitude of the sexual innuendo you could derive from that one phrase makes my head hurt.) These Pickle Channels (I'm trying really hard to behave myself here) allow users to broadcast (or insert, if you will) media directly to just about any website. Right from their mobile phones.

Here's how it works: Channels are basically portable media galleries that can be displayed anywhere, and can be updated from computers as well as cell phones. You simply set up a channel, fill it with videos and photos, and then embed the entire channel of content anywhere you like, on social networking sites like MySpace, into your blog, or onto virtually any other site. And every time you add to the channel it automatically updates everywhere it is posted -- instantly. No more waiting to come home to bore your friends with vacation pics... you can do it while you're still there!

All kidding aside, there are some powerful ways this can be used, not just for social applications, but for business and marketing applications as well. Since each channel has a unique email address, anyone can easily add new items on the fly. So while you're giving a presentation to the bosses in the conference room, your sales team can be on the ground in several cities, posting photos and videos of the new product launch. As it's launching.

Or just use it to send a picture of your ass to your old college roommate.

www.pickle.com

As guys we're often called upon to do things that require a lot of hand strength: Shake hands with a prospective boss, work the throttle on a Harley, hit a 250 yard drive, twist the lid off a pickle jar... the ability to do these things makes us the manly men we are.

Guys who shake hands like wet fish, or need a set of tools to pry the lids off jars... well, they end up singing Broadway show tunes, decorating interiors, and raising champion Pomeranians. (That was a JOKE. I am kidding. Please don't send me hate emails. Some of my best friends shake hands like wet fish, sing show tunes and decorate interiors. And they all have a great sense of humor, and live normal, happy, fulfilling lives. Raising show Pomeranians? Not so much. You guys have permission to send me hate emails.)

So how do you get that iron grip? Traditional workouts help. But to build real strength in your hands, wrists and forearms you need something specifically designed to target those areas. That's where DynaFlex comes in.

A few years ago I started developing Carpal Tunnel in my wrists from hours spent on my keyboard writing. Someone suggested the DynaFlex Powerball to work the muscles in my wrists. It helped. A lot. I've kept one on my desk ever since.

It's simple to use (once you get the hang of it), and when you get the internal gyroscope going at a good clip it'll spin at over 8,000 RPM generating 38 lbs of torque force. (Which is more than your first car had.) Fighting against that force builds muscle and stamina in your hands, wrists, forearms and shoulders. Quickly.

Recently the folks over at DynaFlex sent me one of their new Sports Gyro Exercisers, which has a built in handle grip, developed for those of you who play baseball, softball, tennis, golf, hockey, motocross, ski, etc. Anything where strong grip gives you an advantage. There's even a military strength version called the DynaMax, engineered with aircraft aluminum, that pushes an incredible 200 lbs. of dynamic resistance.

So put down the Pomeranian. Pick up a DynaFlex. And grip it and rip it.

www.dynaflexpro.com

Of all the pictures I've posted, this one right here on the left is the one I'm most excited to post.

After being passed up by the Academy for classic films that reads like a list of Top 5 Favorite All-Time Guy Movies: Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Casino (I know, but come on, vintage Pesci) - they finally woke up and gave Martin Scorsese the Oscar he's deserved for decades.

And to top it off, the movie he won his long-awaited award for, The Departed, (one of my new personal favorites), was also named Best Picture.

Proving again that "guy" movies can be great movies. Oscar winning movies. Which is exactly what you tell your girlfriend at the video store when she's hammering you to rent some chick flick. Argument point: The last time a chick flick won Best Picture? You have to go back to '98 for Shakespeare in Love and '97 for Titanic. The last four Best Picture awards have been guy movies, give or take: '06 The Departed, '05 Crash, '04 Million Dollar Baby (she'll call you on that one, but, hey, it's about boxing), and '03 The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Happy renting.

Let me state right up front that I am not a fan of the Oscars. Watching a bunch of grossly overpaid celebs half-heartedly try to feign sincerity was funny for a while. Now it's like wearing wet wool - annoying and irritating, and you can't wait to get it off.

You know what I'm talking about. The rarely-funny jokes the host is forced to tell. The cringe-inducing attempts to be hip and edgy. The fake tears of the winner, the fake smiles of the losers. It's enough to drive you to drink.

Which is exactly what I'm going to do. I got sent a bunch of cocktail recipes that were created by Pernod Ricard USA's Spirits Desk to honor the Best Picture Nominees. I'm up for any new drink recipes, but movie themed drinks? Too far even for me.

Then I thought, hmmm, maybe these might make the award ceremony more enjoyable. So I decided to toss around some ideas for an Academy Award drinking game. Like doing a shot when a male celeb is shown wearing a "unique" tuxedo. Or drinking whenever a female winner puts her hand over her heart and pretends to be sooooo incredibly shocked, and utters something along the lines of "I never expected this. Honestly. Truly." (Take an extra drink if she then proceeds to pull out a prepared speech.)

Drink from the moment the presenter says "And the winner is..." and keep drinking until they say the winner's name.

Drink if the camera cuts to the loser and they are looking upset, then snap on a smile when they realize the camera is on. Or drink when any of the host's jokes fall flat, or better yet, evoke an audible groan. (Which should have you drunk enough to sit through three hours of this stuff.)

And, when Martin Scorsese FINALLY wins a much deserved Best Director Oscar, down your entire drink.

Make up some of your own, and post them here in the comments section. Three of the drink recipes are below, based on my three personal favorite nominated movies. And the winner is...

"The Departini"
(Created in honor of The Departed)
2 parts Tequila Tezon Reposado
1 part Martell Cognac
1 part Cointreau
1 tbsp agave nectar
Squeeze of lime juice
Shake well and serve up in a martini glass. Garnish with a lemon wedge.
*Recipe by: Tequila Tezon

"Sunshine in Malibu"
(Created in honor of Little Miss Sunshine)
1 part Malibu Mango Rum
1 part Malibu Pineapple Rum
Fill with orange juice
Combine ingredients in a highball glass over ice.
*Recipe by: Malibu Rum

"Lychee Letters"
(Created in honor of Letters From Iwo Jima)
.5 part SOHO Lychee Liqueur
2 parts Martell Cognac VSOP
1 part pomegranate juice
1 part orange juice
Spoonful of sugar
Serve over ice in a rocks glass.
*Recipe by: SOHO Lychee Liqueur

Let's say you're a suit guy. Monday through Friday you wear the Capitalist Uniform. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Suits serve a purpose. They project professionalism. And sophistication. And authority. And all the other things you need to project while you reign over your 6 x 6 cubicle kingdom. (8 x 8 if you're on the management fast track.)

Your suit wearing pays the rent. Your suit wearing allows you to buy drinks for strange women at bars. Your suit wearing allows you to eat meals that don't include instant Ramen. But your suit wearing doesn't reflect the real you. The you that, on the weekends, is very much not part of the Machine.

Come Saturday you want to be casual. But not worn-down-stain-covered t-shirt casual. No. That was fine in college. But you're an adult now. (Physically anyway.) And you want your casual clothes to have style. And make a positive statement about who you are as well.

Here's one way to do that. California Rising is a new sportswear line for men that mixes casual fashion with what they call "the embracing of the progressive, inventive, and laid back energy that is what people love about California." Like, totally, dude.

What does that mean? Let me translate: the clothes are fashion-forward, so you'll look great whether you're hanging at the park, or out for dinner with a girl (without that painful "wanna-be skaterboy" look that seems to be so popular right now), but they are also eco-friendly - using high quality organic fabrics and dying processes that don't smack Mother Nature in the mouth.

Think of it as the Yin to your workweek Yang.

www.californiarising.com

She's graced the pages of Playboy, married (and thankfully divorced) the most bizarre celebrity this side of Weird Al, done more drugs before the age of 14 than you probably saw in four years of college, and has even been celebrated as Hasty Pudding's Woman of the Year. And she's managed to do it all without turning into a complete caricature of herself. (Which is more than we can say for most women in Hollywood right now.)

Nope, not Bea Arthur.

Join me in wishing a very happy birthday to Drew Barrymore, who turns 32 today. (32? Wasn’t it just a few years ago she was hiding in the closet with ET?) With her free spirit, live-for-today party attitude, love of tattoos, and infamous desktop flashing of Dave, (ever see his eyes pop that far?), Drew is our choice for celeb girl we’d love to hang out with. Drew, if you show up, your drinks are on me. (The first 5 or 6 anyway.)

And for those of you who are on the fence about Drew, here's a little clip to help sway you.

If you answered "they get all the girls," well, Diane has a lovely parting gift for you. (And I have to assume you are either a trucker or computer nerd.) But if you answered "they all need to keep up their energy and/or stay awake and alert," then you get to move on to the lightning round.

It seems lately marketers feel that everyone, not just truckers and hardcore gamers, apparently need more energy. The continued viral-like proliferation of Starbucks should be some indication. And the addition of caffeine to things that nature didn't intend to be caffeinated, like water, for instance.

Jumping on the "wired nation" bandwagon is Dakota Valley Products, who just announced the newest product in the category: Sumseeds, sunflower seeds fortified with caffeine, taurine, ginseng, and other pick-me-ups. Why eat sunflower seeds instead of say, guzzling a six pack of energy drinks? Those tasty little seeds, seen being spit from the mouths of major leaguers in dugouts everywhere, naturally contain protein, thiamine, vitamin E, iron, phosphorous, potassium and calcium. Not a bad snack to have during the 4pm slide.

Produced in Willow Lake, South Dakota, an agricultural community with a population of 266, these seeds represent all the hopes and dreams of an entire little town. A really wide awake little town.

Want some? You can buy them by the case directly from Dakota Valley by going to www.sumseeds.com.

This is not your father’s energy drink. It’s not even technically an energy drink. Fever is the first ever “libido stimulant beverage” (yes, that means exactly what you think it means), and was recently launched in major city nightclubs and bars. (Launching a libido stimulation beverage in bars and nightclubs? First, that's marketing genius, and second, why the hell wasn’t I invited?)

Vanilla flavored, Fever contains a combination of eight organic herbs that enhance sexual performance and help reduce recovery time between “sessions”. And, no surprise, they’ve developed some cocktails that use Fever and served them at the bar and nightclub launch. Hmm. Cocktails that get you drunk AND horny. Is that even legal? Just in case they get outlawed I'm posting a couple of the recipes below. Then I’m requesting a list of those nightclubs and bars.
www.feverusa.com

For you: Bull Fever
1 oz Vodka
1 oz FEVER
1 oz Fruit punch
1 oz Red Bull
Put a few cubes of ice in a shaker and add the vodka, fruit punch and FEVER. Shake well. Strain into a tall glass filled to the top with ice. Top off with Red Bull. Lock yourself in a cage.

For her: Pink Fever
1 nip of Triple Sec
1 nip Crème de Banana
2 oz FEVER
Cream
Berry Punch
Soda Water
1/2 pint of berries
Prepare a tall glass with sugar rim and half a handful of berries on the bottom. In a shaker add nip of crème de banana, 1 nip of triple sec, 45mL non sweetened cream. Shake and add berry punch, FEVER and soda water. Stir and pour into glass. Try to remain calm.

I've gotten a lot of pitches lately on the hot new marketing buzz-product dubbed "Man-cations". I guess "vacations for men" just doesn't sound hip enough.

Usually they involve one of two things: either rugged trips involving climbing, camping, fishing, hunting and other equally "manly" activities, or the complete opposite - spa vacations for men where we can escape the pressures of being a guy by getting massages, mud baths, and even facials. Of course all while smoking cigars, so as to keep our masculinity intact. (I am not making that up. They send me pics of guys with mud masks on their faces, big Dominicans in their mouths. Off the charts on the Unintentional Comedy Scale.)

If you want to head out on a trip with some of the guys without feeling like the cast of "City Slickers" check out RazorGator Experiences.

Razor Gator offers officially sanctioned packages to many major sporting events throughout the year, like the NCAA Final Four, The Masters, The Kentucky Derby, The Indy 500, and others. They have several "experience" levels depending on how close to the events and action you want to be, and what your budget is.

Packages can include hard to score tix to the event, plus hotel rooms, access to private parties and hospitality suites, and more. Dream trips for any sports fan.

Check out www.RazorGatorExperiences.com for package pricing and availability.

I live in jeans. I’m lucky enough to have a career where wearing jeans is part of the uniform. (Trust me, it's by design. Nothing against dressing up now and then, but I got tired of the daily suit and tie routine 15 years ago.)

Remember when jeans were easy? Grab a pair of medium blues and head out. That was back in the day. Back before they became a fashion item. Before the price ballooned to over $100 a pair. Before anyone heard the cringe-inducing words "acid wash". And before some genius had the bright idea to add pleats. (Believe it or not I still see guys out there wearing pleated jeans. Stop it. I'm begging you.)

Personally, I like jeans with a little more sophistication. Jeans that are cut to make me look good. But I also don’t want to have to worry about picking a pair that’s not “in style”. Not dyed the right shade of blue. (What's in now? Dark wash? Faded blues? I have no idea.) Jeans that don't have enough holes, too many holes, or whatever the fashionistas are currently whining about on celeb TV.

Take a look at PPD Jeans for men. An entire line created by a former jeans model especially for us guys. Every pair is designed to ensure you look good - without resorting to all the embellishments that were starting to slide dangerously close to the feminine side. (Embroidery? Rhinestones? Please.)

With attention to detail on fit, cut, placement of pockets, and rise, you can say goodbye to saggy jeans. (Which is a blessing for all of us out there working with flat, white-guy butt.) They are available in over 25 innovative washes including shades of navy, brown and even gray. So choosing a pair that's stylish is easy. And not a pleated pair in the bunch.

www.paigepremiumdenim.com for styles and store locations.

Nothing beats back the cold like a bowl of chili. Since they say global warming is causing these arctic blasts to hit us this winter, (warming causing freezing... that makes perfect sense, doesn't it? But then I'm no Climactic Scientist), the cold may be around for a while. So I'm posting this hot, three chile, chili recipe. It's from the book, "The Spaghetti Sauce Gourmet", by David Joachim.

And since chili is one of those things that guys take a lot of pride in, hit me at hey@thebachelorguy.com with your own best recipe and I'll put them in an upcoming post.

Three-Chile Beef Chili

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cups prechopped multicolored bell peppers
1 1/2 cups prechopped onion
2 jalapeno chiles, minced
1 1/2 pounds coarsely ground beef top round
1 teaspoon chili powder
4 1/2 cups refrigerated or jarred tomato sauce with meat
3 1/2 cups beef broth or water
1 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 cup sour cream

Heat the oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Stir in the bell peppers, onion, and half of the jalapenos. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden, about 5 minutes. Scrape the vegetables to one side. Add the beef and chili powder. Cook, stirring occasionally, until beef is no longer pink, about 5 minutes. Stir in sauce and broth or water. Cook, partially covered, over medium-low heat until the flavors blend, about 10 minutes.
Pass the cilantro, sour cream, and remaining jalapenos at the table.

Staplers. They work on simple mechanics. You put a few pieces of paper in it, press down, and - bang - your paper is stapled.

Except that's not how it happens half the time. Put too many pages in and you get a mangled mess. Or a complete misfire. Or, as has happened at least once with me, it's, "Why is that staple sticking out of my thumb?"

Well, bleed no more. Accentra has come out with a series of PaperPro staplers designed to eliminate any frustration traditional staplers usually cause. Their patented spring-loaded mechanism makes using them nearly effortless. Typically, a stapler requires upwards of 30 lbs. of pressure to use; with the PaperPro desktop stapler, you need a single finger and a mere 7.2 lbs. of pressure. That's less effort than it takes to ring a doorbell. And the rounded nose means a lot less shuffling of papers to align them.

Yeah, excitement about a newfangled stapler is definitely a guy thing. Women will give you the same look they give you when you try to explain "fielder's choice" or why the Three Stooges are actually comedic geniuses.

www.paperpro.com

From www.jnd.org via Boing Boing

Let the ladies line their closets with frilly sachets and potpourri. That's not even remotely strong enough for the stuff we've got jammed in our closets. Sports gear. A pair of heavily stained Chuck Taylors. Our lucky sweatshirt from college. (Hey, it's got one more use in it before it hits the washer. At least.) No, if we're gonna mask that festival of odors from her when she comes over, we're gonna need something stronger. Much, much stronger. Like a big honking hunk of cedar.

Remember when you redid your floors with the tongue-and-groove wood flooring? It took you and a buddy about a weekend to do the whole thing? Take the same idea, and line your closets with it.

CedarSafe Closetliners are made from 100% natural aromatic Eastern cedar, come in convenient 15-square-foot packs, and are easy to install in your existing closet. For about $360 you can line a standard 180 square-foot closet, and, if you've handled a hammer and saw before, finish it in about a day.

The look is dark and rich (she'll be impressed), the aroma is manly (she won't think you sprayed flowery air freshener all over everything), and the cedar naturally absorbs odors, resists mildew, and repels pests like roaches, silverfish and moths. As opposed to attracting them, like your lucky sweatshirt.

Available at Lowes and Home Depot nationwide.

www.cedarsafeclosets.com

A short intro today. I am heading out to prepare a special dinner. For two. Here's a few drinks you can mix for your own Valentine. Because sometimes you need a little liquid lubrication...

St. Valentine's Day Massacre
1 1/2 oz. vodka
1 oz. Campari bitters
1/2 oz. lime juice
1 tsp superfine sugar
1 oz. cranberry juice




Fill a shaker 2/3 with ice. Add all ingredients. Shake. Strain into a martini glass. Add a lemon twist.
[From the book The Daily Cocktail - 365 Intoxicating Drinks and the Outrageous Events that Inspired Them, by Dalyn Miller and Larry Donovan]

The Sweetheart
1.5 oz. Cuervo Citrico*
Splash of sour mix

Add Citrico and sour mix to shaker. Shake and strain into a shot glass. Add lemon wedge and sugar on rim.
[*Cuervo Citrico is their new flavored tequila with hints of citrus.]

Valentine’s Kiss
1 1/2 oz. Jose Cuervo Especial
2 oz. Chilled Cranberry Juice
2 oz. Chilled Apple Juice
Club soda or seltzer

Fill a glass with ice. Add tequila, cranberry juice, and apple juice. Top off with soda.


Plymouth Pom-Star
1 1/2 oz. Plymouth Gin
1 1/2 oz. Pomegranate Juice
1.5 oz. Passion Fruit Juice
Squeeze of lime

Fill a tall glass with ice, add Plymouth Gin and top with equal parts pomegranate and passion fruit juices.  Add squeeze of lime and then stir.

Godiva Peppermint Kiss
1 oz. Godiva Chocolate Liqueur
1 oz. Rumple Minze
1 sprig mint

Add Godiva Chocolate Liqueur and Rumple Minze to ice-filled rocks glass
and stir. Garnish with mint sprig

[Courtesy of www.thebar.com]

Gin & Sin
50 ml Plymouth Gin
50 ml fresh lemon-lime juice
Splash of Chambord

Add the three ingredients to a martini shaker with ice. Shake until chilled. Strain into a martini glass and garnish with lime wedge.
[Developed by bartender Jason Ash from AVA Lounge on top of the Dream Hotel in NYC.]


Cherry Truffle Martini
3 oz. cherry vodka
2 oz. of crème
1 oz. of grenadine
Touch of heavy cream
Truffle garnish

Add the first four ingredients to martini shaker with ice. Shake until chilled. Strain and serve up in a martini glass, garnish with truffle in bottom of glass.
[From Anthony Casagrande, director of cocktail development for the Night Hotel in NYC.]

Even though 41% of American workers think dipping their pen in the company ink would jeopardize their job, 39% go ahead and do it anyway. With 42% throwing caution to the wind and cubicle-hopping openly.

This according to the Workplace Snapshot survey conducted by Spherion. (I get a lot of survey results sent to me, what can I say? You should see the ones I don't post.)

Men, no surprise, are 10% more likely to brag about tagging someone from accounting then women are. (Well, have you seen the guys in accounting?)

Of those who do consort with coworkers, a quarter take the relationship all the way, with 25% eventually walking down the aisle. (Putting in a little overtime, are we?)

So when Stacey from Marketing asks if you can help her "collate some documents", nod knowingly, loosen your tie, and head for the copy room.

Red wine drinkers? They drink from a deep, rounded glass designed to let the wine breathe. White wine has a specific type of glass too. And there are two designed for champagne. Beer drinkers? Doesn't matter. Bottle, can, glass, mug, straight out of the keg... whatever works.

Now beer drinkers can feel as sophisticated as their grape swilling brothers. Boston Beer Co. has unveiled the Samuel Adams Boston Lager Pint Glass.

Jim Koch, the hyper-obsessed beer god who created Sam Adams, wanted a glass that showcases beer as brewers intended and "elevates the craft-beer drinking experience (and) offers beer lovers a full sensory experience..." (The man loves his beer.)

The glass has a neck and lip design that helps sustain the beer's head (insert head joke here) and helps release the hop aromas. For those of you who prefer to sip, not chug.

Available in March, they'll be sold in packages of four for $30

www.samueladams.com

Thanks to Kyle for the tip

I once spent six months in college sleeping on a 6-foot by 2.5-foot cot. Surprisingly, this did not stop me from having a girlfriend. Nor did it stop us from doing a lot of “biology homework” on it.

For those playing along at home, the key word in that that last paragraph was "college."

Now that you're all grown up, there's no way you can get away with pulling something like that. (Or you'll definitely wind up pulling something.) Especially this Valentine's Day. Your female of choice wants to feel special. She wants to feel like a pampered princess. She wants to feel like she's not in danger of getting folded up in the bed like a calzone.

The fine folks at Tempur-Pedic™ have created a bed for you that will not only do all that to impress your girl, but it will also give you a heck of a night's sleep afterwards. And since you spend over a third of your life in bed (or more, you lucky devil) you should spend it as comfortably as possible. With two layers of Tempur material and their astonishing Dual AirFlow System™, this might just be the most comfortable mattress ever. Plus, the velour cover is removable and washable, in case you've double-booked the holiday. Just leave enough time for the drying cycle to finish.

Of course you're also going to provide her with a Tempur-Pedic™ pillow. Because that's the kind of guy you are (plus you've gotta sleep on them too). With a slew of styles to choose from, you can go with the Classic, the Side, the Body, or even the Symphony. Personally, you seem to me like a RhapsodyPillow™ kind of guy. Not only will she enjoy the best sleep ever, but the removable, washable and allergen-resistant outer cover is dual sided, with TEMPUR-Tex™ on top and micro suede on the bottom. You and I both know it really doesn't get much cooler than that.

So if you're sleeping one, two, three or more (more? Wow.), look to the Tempur-Pedic™. It's what I'd do if I were you.

www.tempurpedic.comfor pricing.

Last month NBC News reported that for the first time, more and more women are opting to live alone. According to the Census, 51% figure they don't need a man around the house. Fine. That's more time I don't have to fight you for the remote.

NBC attributes it to women growing more independent. I can agree with that. But then I flash back to this past weekend when my buddies and I watched this jerk hit on a hottie at a bar. And it became clear that it's much more than that. Yup. I think it boils down to bad pickup lines.

In honor of all those millions of women who will be home alone this Valentine's Day, I give you my list of all time bad pickup lines. Feel free to use them on all those single women this Valentine's Day. My buddies and I need a good laugh. (And you can use the comment button below to add your own.)

• Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in 'em.
• Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.
• If you were a tree and I were a squirrel, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
• You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
• Did you fart? 'Cuz you blew me away.
• Can you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
• I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.
• If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep til the afternoon.
• Do you know karate? 'Cause your legs are kickin'.
• Guy: Fat penguin! Girl: What? Guy: I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
• Your face is like a wrench. Every time I look at it my nuts tighten up.

I often hear the generalization that men are all about the sex and women are all about the saying no.

The makers of LifeStyles® brand condoms seem to have found a day where that's just simply not true.

Based on research they conducted in 2006 on women's sexual activity around Valentine's Day, they predict over 30 million women will be having sex sometime during February 14 this year. Moreover, upwards of 7.5 million condoms will be used (no sense in getting V.D. on V.D.), at an average rate of 87 per second in the States.

To put that in perspective: the fastest hummingbirds, to stay airborne and stationery, will flap their wings at 80 times per second. And they don't have to deal with that pesky foil packet.

Play your cards right, and you could find yourself with one of those 30 million women. That's definitely something to hum about.

After I posted the results of our lingerie survey, some emails came in from my female readers asking what ideas I had for a romantic gift they could surprise their man with on Valentine's Day.

Glad to see you're looking to reciprocate, ladies. Especially when another survey found that men only receive about 6% of the V Day gifts. I guess when almost 90% of us say we wouldn't mind modeling something sexy you bought for us, our status as Gift Recipient goes way up.

I didn't want to focus on "products" you could just run to the store and buy. That's what Christmas and birthdays are for. I wanted things that were personal and had some thought behind them. And, because you ladies specified it, "romantic". Understand, your idea of romantic and ours are very different. You think "romance", we think "sex". Sorry, we're just hardwired that way. Therefore, these gifts tend to lean toward hoping a "romantic" Valentine's Night is part of his gift.

And guys? Many of these ideas work both ways. Just a hint.

Video Call.
Not going to be together for VDay? Or want to entice him to leave work early? How about getting him a netcam, like the Logitech QuickCam and making a free video call through Skype. Show him what he's missing by not being there. Just make sure he's the only one home.

Multimedia Love.
As a hi-tech version of the "mix tape" (those of you old enough to remember those) you can upload songs and videos to his MP3 player or PSP. Create a custom playlist of songs that say what you feel, along with a personal picture slideshow or video clips. Zune even has special Valentine's art and playlists you can download.

Digital Memories.
Every girl I've ever known loves photos. They have pictures in frames all over the place. Guys? We never seem to get around to printing them out, let alone shopping for the perfect frame. Digital frames, like this Philips PhotoFrame let you upload digital pics from your computer or camera and display them in slideshow form. Much easier for us guys. You can even pre-load a few "special" pictures just for him. (Yeah, I know. That was a long shot. But I had to throw it out there.)

Path to Heaven.
I recently saw Britec glow in the dark photo paper, and although it looked cool, I wondered what you could do with it. Then I thought of this: I've had girlfriends leave notes around the house to lead me into the bedroom where the real gift is waiting. What if your guy were to walk into a dark house, and on the floor is a glowing path of photos, say of various articles of your clothing strewn on the floor, hinting at what he'll find at the end of the trail? We'd follow that anywhere.

I Know You Think Baths are More Romantic, But...
You ladies love to join us in the shower. And why not, you hog all the hot water, while we, as gentlemen, freeze outside the spray. Let him know you're thinking about his needs too by installing this dual shower head by Pegasus. I bet it'll get you invited in to let us "loofah your back" more often. (Available at HomeDepot.com)

Game On.
I'm not one for party games. But when there's one that gets the mood flowing, I'm in. PervArtistry is a cross between Pictionary and Charades that has you both acting out risque words and phrases. Perfect if you need an ice breaker. Just make sure to have plenty of alcohol on hand.

The Other Woman.
If he's been hinting about bringing in "another woman" I say give him one. The Chocolate Lover Girl from GourmetChocolate.com should satisfy his cravings. For now.

Say It With Liquor.
From the time we played our first team sport and saw our name on the back of our jersey, we've loved stuff that's personalized. Give him a bottle of Crown Royal or Johnnie Walker, customized with his name, a message, the date you met. Anything special you can drink to.

There's only so much the written word can convey. I can tell you how a product works. Explain to you what it looks like. Discuss how it operates. But sometimes you just need a visual. So you can SEE how it works, what it looks like, and how it operates.

And since the average guy has the attention span of a four-year-old on a sugar high, I know a lot of you would rather watch a short video than read a 500 word review. I don't blame you.

So I'm launching BGTV, a regular podcast that in the coming weeks will feature product demos, how-to's, interviews, guides, and more. Short, quick, and funny. And because we both know you wouldn't watch unless there were hot women, I've included them too.

How hot? Today's video features Tyran Richard. Don't know Tyran? Head down to the newsstand. Pick up the March issue of Playboy. Flip to the centerfold. Meet Tyran.

Tyran and I got together to create Lingerie 101, a guide for guys who want to buy lingerie for their lady, but aren't sure what's what. The Shirley of Hollywood cover model, she wears lingerie for a living, and can not only tell you what to look for, she'll model a sample of each style for you. Strictly for educational purposes.

Windows users watch the video here

Mac users watch the video here

Look for more videos in the next couple of weeks. And, if you have an idea for something you want to see, email me at hey@thebachelorguy.com. Because if I have to drag out a video camera and round up a bunch of models just to get you the information you want, I'm there for you.

For Valentine's gift giving, there are a few major (and expected) Valentine’s gift categories: Flowers, Candy, Lingerie and Jewelry. Make the right choice from one or more of these and you’re in. Wrap up a new Dustbuster for her and you're in trouble.

Flowers are pretty straight forward. Grab a dozen roses, (for three times what you'd pay on any other, non-Valentine's, day), and although you won't be the most creative guy, you'll get by.

Same for chocolate. As long as it's in a nice box, and not in bar form in a plastic wrapper, you'll be ok. (More on chocolate gifts early next week.)

Lingerie? I've beaten that to death. (But... watch for the launch of BGTV with my "Lingerie 101" video on the site tomorrow.)

Jewelry is a whole different game. There's a near infinite number of options, it's more costly, and what you get her carries a lot of meaning. You don't want to go cheap, and you don't want to go too big too soon. And if you don't know what to look for, and look out for, you can get taken. (See my jewelry buying tips, here.)

Most guys when they think of giving jewelry only think gold and silver. And stones. Like diamonds. Which can cause some guys to hyperventilate in the store parking lot. But there's other options, allowing you to get her something unique and beautiful at a reasonable cost.

One of my readers suggested TurqJewelry.com. So I took a look.

Started a few years ago - and still run by - two women from Virginia and North Carolina, Turq features their unique and extremely eye-catching jewelry designs. Pieces you won't find anywhere else. And getting her something her girlfriends don't have is always a good thing.

Choosing is easy. There are designs to fit just about every taste. And with prices ranging from about $50 to $210, you can be a hero and still have enough left over for those overpriced roses.

TurqJewelry.com.
Thanks to Bates for the tip.

Since it's one of the most gifted items on Valentine's Day, I thought I'd hit you with some interesting info on chocolate.

A survey by theNational Confectioners Association (NCA) found:

• The average guy will spend $130 on candy, cards, flowers, jewelry, and dates this year.

• Kids apparently do the best on V Day, receiving 39% of the gifts given, followed by wives/mothers with 36%. Fathers/husbands? No love, with only 6% of the gifts.

• More than 36 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate will be sold for Valentine's Day.

• Half the women surveyed planned to give chocolate to their guy this year. (And judging from the results above, it looks like the other 50% plan on giving nothing.)

• 68% of men said they'd prefer to get chocolate over flowers, with 22% opting for the flowers. (I'm gonna have to have a talk with that 22%.)

Do different types of chocolate have different meanings? According to a survey by Lindt Chocolates, they do. According to their results, 42 percent of respondents equated milk chocolate with love, while 53% thought white chocolate evoked innocent feelings of friendship. Dark chocolate? Nearly a third of respondents, (33%, for those of you who failed math), identified it with with lust. Something to think about when you're shopping.

Buying jewelry when you don’t have a trusted jeweler can be tricky. Not Buying-a-Used-Car tricky, but there are still a bunch of ways you can trip up. Do you buy 14K gold, or 24K? What exactly is “sterling silver”? And most importantly, how do you know if what you’re buying is quality merchandise?

Here are some tips from the master jewelers at the Independent Jewelers Organization (IJO) to make sure what you give her this Valentine’s Day isn’t fool’s gold.

Gold
• The “K” in 14K or 24K stands for "karat", and it's the percentage of pure gold in a piece. 24K gold is pure gold. 18K contains 18 parts gold and six parts of alloys, making it 75% gold. 14K contains 14 parts gold and 10 parts alloy, making it 58.3% gold.
• Some people have allergies to the alloys used in gold jewelry, the gold itself is rarely a problem. The higher the gold content in the jewelry, the less likely her allergies will act up. (And hives don't mix well with Valentine's Night activities. So spring for the good stuff.)
• White gold is an alloy of yellow gold and some white metals such as silver and palladium. To make white gold look whiter, it is frequently plated with rhodium, another white metal.

Silver
• Pure silver is too soft to be used for jewelry so it is mixed with alloys to make it more durable. (As any aging 80's hair-band rocker will tell you, it needs to be durable.)
• Sterling Silver is 92.5% (925 parts) pure silver and 7.5% alloy metal and is the primary material used for silver jewelry.
• Only jewelry that is 92.5% pure silver can be called or labeled “silver”, “solid silver”, or “sterling silver”. (The rest is spray painted yellow and sold to Kevin Federline.)

Platinum
• Platinum is a white metal, but unlike gold it is used in jewelry in almost (90-95%) pure form.
• Platinum is extremely long-wearing, very white, very dense and significantly more expensive than gold.
• Platinum is normally not used in the full range of jewelry products due to its higher price.

Gemstones
• Gemstones can be naturally mined, laboratory-created (synthetic) or imitation (simulated).
• Synthetic stones look identical to stones mined from the earth, but are much less expensive. Imitation stones resemble naturally mined stones but are usually made of glass or plastic. (Perfect for you, Big Spender.)
• If you are buying a naturally mined stone, ask if it has been treated. Gemstone treatments - such as heating, dyeing or bleaching - can improve a stone's appearance or durability, and may affect the stone's value.

Semi-Precious Gems
• Traditionally, semi-precious refers to gemstones other than the big three – ruby, emerald and sapphire.
• There are varieties of gems, though, that are equally precious, so the term semi-precious can be misleading.
• With all colored gemstones, quality rules price. Better color costs more - a lot more. Better clarity costs more. Better cut may cost a little more, and it's worth it. The bigger the stone, the more it is per carat.
• Within each variety of gemstone, prices are based on the four Cs, (color, cut, clarity and carat) with color being the most important factor.

For more information on buying quality jewelry, or to locate a master jeweler who can help you find something for Valentine’s Day, go to www.masterjeweler.com

Leave it to the French to put a sexy new twist on the everyday. And give us guys another tool to add to our box of Things to Use to Wear Down Her Defenses and Make Her Think of Us In "That Way". (Listen, whatever it takes.)

Gentlemen, meet Jou-jou. A double-ended, candy apple and ginger flavored lollipop, that's designed to be shared with your intended Valentine, bringing her oh-so-close to that first kiss. (I'm hoping when they developed this they were thinking the classic Disney "Lady and the Tramp" spaghetti scene, not the cringe-inducing Snicker's Super Bowl commercial I've dubbed "Brokeback Garage", that mercifully got pulled this week.)

Silly as it may look, the French do have intimate knowledge of getting intimate. They even have their own kiss named after them. And if they say a double-ended lollipop will get us started down that path - it says right on their website, "As the sugar melts, eyes meet and noses brush playfully before melting into a sweet kiss..." - then, hey, I'm willing to give it a shot.

And even though she's gonna see right through your poorly-veiled attempt to get invited into her "personal space", I gotta believe she'll at least appreciate the effort. Share a Jou-jou with you. And give you that Valentine's kiss. Or laugh in your face. But we're used to that.

$20 for a set of 6
Jou-jou

I found this on one of my favorite sites, Instructables.com. (If you've never been to Instructables.com, go. People post instructions on how to make and do all kinds of wild, bizarre, and sometimes actually useful, stuff.)

This link takes you to the instructions on how to make Duct Tape Roses. I thought the same thing you are thinking right now: Roses? Out of duct tape?

It's one of those things that made me go, "What the hell?", and "That's actually kinda interesting", at the same time. (The ingenuity of some of you people never ceases to amaze me...)

I'm throwing it out there, in case some of you guys like to profess your love in the most manly way possible. (Just please resist the urge to say something ridiculous like: "Our love, like these roses, is indestructible, binds two things together forever, and is non-biodegradable.")

I can see the new FTD slogan now: "Say it With Construction Materials."

Instructables.com

Duct Tape Roses

Sometimes your place isn't the most romantic place to spend Valentine's Day. Look around. I'm right, aren't I?

Fortunately, hotels and clubs all over the country are hosting events and running specials for couples looking for a romantic getaway. Don't worry if you don't live in a big metro area, from what I'm hearing from my buddies, a little V Day travel is becoming the thing to do.

A great place to start your planning is at MatchActivity.com. for locations. A new social activities website that connects likeminded people together through one-on-one activities, MatchActivity believes people should meet face to face, rather than online through faceless email. They've set up five different cool and creative things for couples to do in five cities: San Francisco, LA, New York City, Chicago and Miami, giving you 25 activities to choose from.

If you're in LA, you can have dinner at Magnolia, followed by spa treatments at the Ritz.

San Francisco offers balloon rides and live jazz at Catalyst Cocktails.

The Gypsy Kings will be playing at The House of Blues in Chicago on Valentine's Day, and you can hit Le Passage, the hot new lounge/supper club after. (Just make sure not to mention the words: Bears, super, bowl, or lose.)

If you're in NYC, stop by Zanzibar for delicious food and exotic cocktails in a sultry lounge setting, after you catch the show at Caroline's Comedy Club.

Looking for something hotter? Miami is hot in February and so is having cocktails under the stars at Sky Bar. And if it's some old-school romance you want, check out Julio Iglesias in concert while you're there. (No word on whether son Enrique will come out of obscurity and join him.)

I know some of you are thinking, "Yeah, but we didn't really plan on leaving the hotel room..." I'm with you. And so are many hotels. Check out the "In Your Dream" package at Dream Hotel in NYC. Starting at $450 for a king room, the package includes: a white garter, a single white feather, condoms, massage oil, naughty dice, coconut/champagne truffles, Kama Sutra position book and flavored whipped cream. For another $150 they'll add a bottle of Dom Perignon and strawberries for an in-room snack. And I'm assuming sound-proofing for the walls and an industrial-sized "Do Not Disturb" sign are included as well.

You don't need to leave town to take advantage of a V Day getaway. Check with your local hotels to see what they are offering. Or put your own package together and bring it with you. Just check their policy first before you install the trapeze.

This Valentine's Day how about surprising her with more than just candy and flowers? Why not break from the normal routine of your usual two positions, (three if you took a nap that afternoon), and make her Valentine's Night something she'll remember.

Not creative enough to think up anything new to try - and not sure if your girl would appreciate looking to your Jenna Jameson video collection for inspiration? Try The Sex-Position Playbook from the guys over at Men's Health.

The Playbook takes you through a simple series of eight positions, (so rest up, Cowboy), that are choreographed for her maximum enjoyment. (Yes, her enjoyment. It's Valentine's Day.)

There's the usual classics, Missionary leads things off, Doggy-style makes an appearance, and you'll find some new positions to add to your repertoire, like the Belly Flop, the Spork, or, sure to become a favorite, the Lazy Man.

Illustrations, like the one above, show how it should look when done right, (or reasonably close), and icons that are supposed to be representing something important you should know, but I have yet to figure most of them out. (The icons and instructions like "Move logically between positions to increase her arousal" rank pretty high on the Unintentional Comedy Scale, and they alone are worth a look.)

The Sex-Position Playbook

Let's say you took the Colts and the spread last night and won big. Or you work for Goldman Sachs and your year-end bonus was bigger than the GNP of a small country. You've got some discretionary income burning a hole in your pocket and you're looking to splurge. Not on something stupid. You want something extravagant. Something cutting edge and functional. Something you wouldn't ordinarily drop big money on. How about a $126 t-shirt?

Not sold? How about a $126 t-shirt made from the highest quality Supima cotton, protected by a barrier of pure silver? Definitely extravagant, but also very cutting edge and functional.

Est. 1887 has launched a line of luxurious, high-end clothing utilizing 5% pure silver, that features tanks, crew shirts and henleys in classic hues, knitted specifically for this collection.

Why silver? According to est. 1887, it provides a world of benefits to the wearer. The fabric actually eradicates 99.9% of all germs, viruses, molds and bacteria it comes into contact with, including odor-causing bacteria. Excellent for when you're sweating through that marketing presentation. (Or for just putting over your face on the subway.)

Speaking of sweating... those of you that get those embarrassing yellow stains under the arms of your shirts? They are caused by ammonia in perspiration. Silver neutralizes ammonia, protecting your shirt from damage. (That alone is reason enough to buy one.)

Silver is also thermodynamic, acting as a natural temperature regulator. Keeping you cool in the summer and warmer in the winter. It's like wearing a giant thermos. A very soft, very comfortable, thermos.

Basically, it's the ultimate guy shirt. Soft. Odor-free for days. Kills germs and bacteria. Doesn't show sweat stains. Can be worn year-round. No thought and low maintenance. If only the other things in our lives were that easy to deal with.

Available in select high-end stores and online retailers.
www.est1887.com for locations.

Here's an idea that's been a long time coming: smaller loaves of bread for single and two person households.

When you live alone, a full loaf of bread can take over a week to eat. Meaning you either struggle through a few days of eating the stale end, (and, no, toasting does not hide the staleness) or throw away half the loaf.

Now bachelor guys (and girls) can have fresh bread without wasting most of it. Responding to growing consumer requests, Oroweat, a division of Bimbo Bakeries USA, (Yes. Bimbo. They are my new favorite baked goods company) announced it is launching Mini Loaves, a line of its most popular breads in loaves with fewer slices.

Right now it's only available in California, Arizona and New Mexico, but hopefully other bakeries will adopt the idea. That way we'll all be able to stop toasting the leftover bread, because, seriously, it doesn't help.

www.oroweat.com

Sorry I didn't get a chance to post yesterday. I was too busy reeling from the "entertainment" provided by the NFL during yesterday's Super Bowl.

A few weeks ago, when I first heard the pre-game and halftime shows the NFL had planned for the Super Bowl, I was a little confused and surprised. And pissed off. But I held my tongue. I wanted to see the shows before I commented. I didn't want to go on a rant before I actually saw what they put together. Maybe my initial feeling would be wrong. Maybe the shows would be great. Maybe I should just stick to my gut instincts...

The Super Bowl is the most watched sports event of the year, showcasing a brutal collision sport, played by brutal, colossal men. The majority of the people watching it are men. And the majority of products advertised are targeted to men. Men celebrate Super Bowl Sunday as a national holiday. So why am I getting the impression the NFL is more concerned about entertaining women?

Case in point: The pre-game show. Yesterday's pre-game was created by Cirque du Soleil. Ok. I've seen a few Cirque shows. (I enjoy a little culture every now and then.) And they were outstanding. Mind-blowing. But I just couldn't picture how that style of entertainment was going to work for a Super Bowl pre-game show. The pre-game should set the tone for the game. Get the crowd fired-up. Their adrenaline flowing. So can someone please explain to me how little children floating from giant colorful balloons and hundreds of dancing butterflies, gets a crowd of football fans ready to watch 300-pound men try to grind each other into the ground?

Case number two: Halftime. Starring Prince. Five-foot-tall, elaborately coifed, high-pitched, purple-velvet-wearing Prince. What happened to The Rolling Stones? Hank Williams, Jr.? U2? Too masculine? Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Prince. I know he's a musical genius. (And his music has played a large roll in "setting the mood" on more than one occasion.) But how many men do you know are true Prince fans? How many guys are pumped up, watching a great football game, and around halftime start thinking, "You know, I could use a little Prince music right about now." And you don't see a guy on a loading dock turn to his buddy and say, "Hey, Lou. Ya think we can get a couple of tickets to the Prince concert? That little guy's music just speaks to me..." Of course not. The majority of Prince's fans are women. And you don't think Pepsi and the NFL know that?

Speaking of which... did you notice there was a Pepsi-sponsored giveaway associated with Prince's appearance? One lucky winner received a jewel encrusted Pepsi can. Read that again: Jewel. Encrusted. Pepsi can. Not a trip to the Pro Bowl. Not a signed Super Bowl game ball. A jewel encrusted Pepsi can. Which I'm sure Pepsi figures the winner will proudly display next to his Precious Moments Holiday-of-the-Month Figurines.

Super Bowl Sunday is the one day a year when guys can crack open a beer, grill a big piece of meat, and just be guys. Our wives and girlfriends seem to understand. Why can't the NFL?

What goes better with football than beer and cheese? Exactly. Beer and cheese melted together so you can dip hunks of bread into it. It's coming up on Super Sunday, and that means right now Fried, Battered, Grease-filled and Cheese-covered are the four main food groups. Today, let's talk Cheese-covered.

This recipe for Amstel Light and Smoked Gouda Fondue was sent to me from Chef Jake Linzinmeir of Chair 8 Restaurant, in Telluride, CO. Chef Linzinmeir is known for putting an upscale spin on classic American comfort food, and he created this recipe to serve at apres ski parties that he and Amstel Light are hosting at Park City Mountain Resort. (And when he's not in the kitchen, Chef moonlights as an accomplished skier and member of the search and rescue squad.)

What I love about this recipe is not only does it bring together beer and cheese into an epicurean, culinary delight, but it makes you think differently about fondue. (Ever say to a buddy, "Hey dude, let's go get some fondue"? Me either. And we both know why.)

Give this a shot this Sunday. It couldn't be easier to make and I'm betting it goes over big. (And invite a lot of friends. This recipe feeds about 40.)

Amstel Light Beer and Smoked Gouda Fondue
You'll need:
6 cloves garlic
6 cups Amstel Light
3 lbs. grated Gouda
3 lbs. grated smoked Gouda
6 tsp. dry mustard powder
Pinch Cayenne
6 tbs. corn starch

• Crush cloves in large sauce pot
• Add Amstel Light and slowly warm to simmer
• Gradually add cheese and stir continuously
• Slurry (add water until paste-like) mustard powder, add water if needed for texture
• Add in Cayenne
• Slurry cornstarch and add until desired thickness

Use thick bamboo skewers and serve with grilled crusty bread and pretzel sticks, apple wedges, radishes, celery sticks, cherry tomatoes... anything you think tastes better covered in cheese.

If you're in Telluride this season, head in to Chair 8 and see Chef Jake. Tell him BG sent you.
www.chair8.com

Apparently the wildly popular Bride Hair Freakout video I posted on Jan 29, was a hoax.

CTV.ca reported last night that the video, viewed over 2 million times on YouTube, was the brainchild of Toronto-based performance artist, Ingrid Haas.

The screaming bride in the video is really a 22-year-old aspiring actress, and student at Ryerson University, named Jodi Behan.

Jodie, nice job. You've taken the art of faking it to a whole new level.

[Thanks to Ron for sending the link]

Odds are good you're headed to a Super Bowl party this weekend. Or the party will be at your place. Either way, food will be involved. A lot of food.

When I've got to make enough for a party I always make my Mom's famous pasta. It's the first thing I ever learned to cook. It's also the easiest. And whenever I make it guys always ask me how to do it, so they can make it at home.

Here's the recipe. And the great thing is you can add whatever you want to it, depending on your taste.

Mom's Pasta
For 6-8 servings you'll need:
• 1 lb. of dry pasta - like elbows, rotini or fusilli
• 1-1.25 lbs. lean ground beef or turkey
• 2 jars of marinara sauce
• 1/2 yellow or white onion, chopped
• Grated parmesan cheese
• Garlic, oregano, basil
• Salt and pepper

Start some water boiling in a large pot. While it's heating throw the ground meat into a large sauté pan. Add the chopped onion. Brown the meat all the way through, stirring often. Add in some of the spices towards the end. Drain off the grease.

When the water boils add the pasta and cook until it is al dente (firm). Drain. Return the pasta to the pot. Turn the heat down to medium. Add in the browned meat. Stir to mix. Pour in the marinara souce until it's a consistency you like. (Some people like a lot of sauce, some like it more dry. I like it somewhere in the middle.) Season with the spices to taste and shake in some grated parmesan cheese. Stir some more. You're done. That's the whole thing. It's easy, fast and can feed a ton of people.

If you want to add something in to make it more interesting, you can add a jar of sliced mushrooms, some diced bell pepper, or my favorite, hot red pepper flakes. I've even made it without the marinara sauce, and used garlic and oil instead. Play around with some different versions. Enjoy.

First of all, thanks to everyone who took the time to complete the survey. Second of all, almost twice as many women as men responded to the survey… and on a site with a majority of men readers, that’s pretty amazing. Way to go guys. And most importantly, we found out some very, very interesting info. Info you guys should be using this V Day.

On to the findings...

When asked if they had received lingerie as a gift 74% of women had. 73% of men had given lingerie as a gift. That means over a quarter of the population needs to realize the value of giving and receiving lingerie...

So, how much should a guy spend on lingerie? About 70% of both men and women surveyed agreed that $51-$100 was a good amount. 15% of women thought $0-$50 was good enough, while 20% of guys went the other way and thought $101-$200 was appropriate. Some guys are needlessly overspending.

Speaking of overspending, when asked if it was necessary to spend more for a brand name, men were split 50-50. Almost 60% of women, on the other hand, felt it was NOT necessary to spend more. Good news for us guys.

When it is ok to start giving lingerie in a relationship? Looks like guys need to be a little more patient. While a majority of guys (43%) thought is was ok to start giving the sexy stuff after 3-6 months, the number one response from the ladies was 6-9 months with 36%. However 18% of our ladies thought it was ok to get sexy in under 3 months. And no, I don’t have their phone numbers.

Once you’re ready to buy, the choice outfit for both men and women is overwhelmingly a two-piece, form-fitting set, grabbing roughly 45% from both sides. Second choice for both is a lace teddy (39% for women, 30% for guys). After that, almost 20%of guys want to see their lady in something very revealing, but only 5% of women agreed. So, easy guys… she wants you to leave a little to the imagination.

Don’t know what material to buy? Go with satin (53%) or lace (36%). Color? Black seems to be the overwhelming sexy color choice for both men (47%) and women (53%), followed by red for 31% of guys and 22% of women. White was a distant third for both, 16% for men, 9% for women.

Does wearing lingerie enhance things in the bedroom? Apparently so. Over 83% of men find lingerie to either enhance things in the bedroom or be a huge turn on. More than two thirds of the ladies agree. And they also admit wearing just lingerie turns them on. My advice? Get your ass to the lingerie store. Now.

And it looks like guys are ok with a little lingerie shopping. 50% said they are not intimidated at all, and will walk right into a store to buy their lady something sexy. And another 40% said that even though they are a little intimidated, they go on in anyway. On the other side, over 75% of women are confident enough to walk right in, with 23% uncomfortable, but willing to brave it. 9% of guys and 2% of the ladies won’t even step foot in a lingerie store. Thank goodness for online shopping.

So what do you buy when you get there - something you want to see her in, or something you think she’ll like? While guys were split just about 50-50 on this, the majority of women, almost 62%, want you to buy what you want to see them in, and be your fantasy. I like how you’re thinking, ladies.

And speaking of fantasies, start thinking accessories, guys. When asked if buying things like gloves, stockings, and garters would enhance their experience, only 38% of guys thought it would, with another 22% saying they’d consider it. 40% figure accessories are not necessary at all. Listen closely guys: 76% of the ladies think accessories make the outfit sexier. So when you get her that two-piece, form-fitting set she wants, get something to go along with it.

Worried about getting her the right size? Don’t be. While a slight majority (about 55%) of men are confident they know their lady’s bra size, and women are split 50-50 whether their man really does know, guys are more confident they know her dress size (56%) and even more so for shirt size (75%). Does it matter if he knows her exact size? Yup. A whopping 32% wouldn’t even try to buy something for their wife or girlfriend without knowing her size. So ladies, start dropping size hints.

What about guys being on the receiving end of sexy gifts? Ladies are a little more progressive here. 97% think it’s perfectly ok to give a man something sexy to wear as a gift, but only 90% of guys agree. (Come on other 10%, let them have some fun.) Even thought they feel it’s ok, only 69% of women actually went ahead and gave a sexy wearable as a gift, and only 57% of guys surveyed had ever received something sexy. Ladies, get moving here. You’ve got another 33% to satisfy.

When asked if they would wear whatever you gave them, an overwhelming 93% of guys said hell yes. Which is good, because 95% of the women surveyed said they’d expect them to wear it. Unless he felt silly. 77% of women would let him off the hook, while 23% feel that since they model the stuff you buy them, a little quid pro quo is in order. (73% of guys said they’d go ahead and wear it anyway… even if they felt silly.)

And finally we asked the ladies: On the big day - Valentine’s Day - would you rather wear something sexy you bought yourself and surprise him, or let him give you something he wants to see you in? 62% want to give him a sexy surprise… which is just fine with 72% of the guys.

(Check out www.shirleyofhollywood.com for gift ideas.)