Since it's the end of the year, I'm nursing a hangover from too many holiday parties, and I'm just downright lazy at this time of year, here are a couple of posts from '07 that could be helpful tonight.

The first is a guide to buying and serving champagne, and you can read it here.

The second is a how-to on opening the bottle. It'll keep you from taking an eye out, or wasting half the bubbly. That post is here.

Enjoy the New Year. And look for tips on curing your hangover tomorrow.

The Unborn's Odette Yustman. [Epic Carnival]

Week 2 of the College Bowl Season. [Gunaxin]

Ben Gibbard proposes to Zooey Deschanel in a match made in indie rock heaven. [Gravy and Biscuits]

Top 16 dumb lip tattoos. [Afrojacks]

Dear Illuminati: ridiculous advice for an ACTUAL reader. [9 to Fried]

Nena Ristic 2009 Calendar. [MoonDog Sports]

The 10 Hottest Chicks on The World of Isaac in '08. [The World of Isaac]

A moment with Teagan Presley. [On 205th]

A great Britain, Alice Goodwin. [Uncoached]

iPhone app makes you the biggest douche bag at the party. [Tasty Booze]

Top 8 New Year's resolutions. [The Guy Report]

Tomorrow night, all around the world, millions of corks will be popped as clocks strike midnight, to toast 2009 with a glass of champagne. But a lot of guys don't know much about champagne, see it as something only snobs drink, and are even intimidated by it.

The truth is that champagne is meant to be enjoyed anytime, not just for special occasions. So to clear up some common misconceptions, I spoke to the experts over at Perrier-Jouët to get the low-down on the bubbly. Below are eight of the most widely-believed myths about champagne, and the actual facts. Pop the cork and enjoy.

MYTH: Champagne and wine are two different things.
FACT: Champagne is actually wine. In fact, many top chefs consider champagne the ultimate wine for food. Due to the acidity of champagne, it complements the widest variety of menu items. Plus, you don’t have the added pressure of picking a red or a white wine to go with dinner, because you get both in most champagnes.

MYTH: Champagne should be ice cold.
FACT: The colder it is, the fewer tastes and aromas are experienced.

MYTH: The fastest way to chill champagne is to put into a bucket of ice.
FACT: Ice water will actually chill a bottle much faster. (In about 20 minutes.)

MYTH: The proper way to open a bottle is to allow the cork to fly off the top of the bottle.
FACT: To avoid taking an eye out, and spending New Year's Eve in the ER, ...There's more

Wired to the rafters and haven't slept on days? Eyes have more bags than a carousel at LAX? Stress at work (if you're lucky enough to still have a job), and a steady diet of energy drink-fueled late nights will do that. Which is why the guys over at Innovative Beverage Group did a 180 on the overcrowded energy drink market and came up with drank, the first ever "Extreme Relaxation Beverage".

Harnessing the calming effects of melatonin (a brain hormone that controls the sleep cycle), valerian root (reduces anxiety), and rose hips (contains anti-oxidents and treats nervousness and exhaustion), the lightly carbonated, grape-flavored drank can unstress frazzled nerves, and lets you relax without hitting the sleeping pills or other medications. Or the bar. Just don't drank and drive.

$1.99
www.drankbeverage.com

Erica Ellyson loves momma's boys. [MoonDog Sports]

Top 12 sports thieves of 2008. [Epic Carnival]

Be quiet in movies, and you wont get shot. [YepYep]

Cat juggling is the sport of the future. [Afrojacks]

Bristol Palin squeezes out another Moose-shootin Republican. [Gravy and Biscuits]

Victoria Silvstedt was made to wear bikinis. [On 205th]

Oregon cheerleader Amanda Pflugrad. [Uncoached]

Ladies and gentlemen - I give you The Crotch Grabbing Bag. [Tasty Booze]

Wake up with Adriana Sklenarikova. (If you can pronounce it.) [Salty Milk]

Drunk New Year's Eve party girls. [CoEd Magazine]

Over at Jalopnik.com they've compiled a collection of the top 50 vanity plates to ever slip past the buzz-killing eyes of the DMV. And from the looks of it, Virginia needs to look into their employee screening process.

Here are my 10 favorites. If you want to see the other 40, click here.

Combining two of our (many) favorite things, the Drinxx playing cards let you play poker, while giving you the recipes for 52 popular cocktails. And they're waterproof, which, if you've ever played poker with my buddies, you know comes in handy.

All they needed to do was include pics of naked chicks serving the drinks and we'd have had the Perfect Storm of guy card decks.

$7.49
www.organize.com
VIA - PlunderGuide

Yeah, I know, Star Wars stuff is for kids. But sometimes you just have to give in to your inner 12-year-old geek. Like with these light saber Wii controllers from dreamGEAR.

Throw Star Wars: The Force Unleashed into the console, snap the controller into the lighted red or blue plastic light saber, and you'd swear you were battling the Sith alongside Yoda and Obi-Wan to save the Republic. Or something like that.

I gave a pair of these to my buddy to test out with his kids, who are Star Wars nuts, and his response was, "Fun these are. Much enjoyment we had." So now I don't talk to him anymore. But I did talk to the kids, and they loved the realism and the control it gave them, versus just using the Wii-mote. (They're apparently much better spoken than dad.)

They work with any sword fighting game on the Wii, so in addition to being a Jedi, you can also satisfy your childhood dream to be a pirate or an assassin. And for under $35 bucks, it's cheaper than therapy.

$34.95
www.dreamgear.net

Gisele gets engaged, Gunaxin posts lingerie pics. [Gunaxin]

Top 10 insult sports jersey Christmas presents. [Epic Carnival]

15 Hilarious Book Covers. [YepYep]

When I Think of Football, I Think of Lesbians. [MoonDog Sports]

The world's largest link dump. [This is Illuminati]

A photo essay of the Lions' season. [The World of Isaac]

New Brunswick, NJ: The Legendary Grease Trucks. [Fan Foodie]

Jennifer Ellison is in her lingerie again. [On 205th]

10 videos of ridiculously hot chicks who don’t speak English. [Uncoached]

20 puntastic store names. [Asylum]

One year in 40 seconds. [AfroJacks]

Wake up with Daniela Pestova. [Salty Milk]

Didn't win any "major awards" this holiday? Nothing fra-gee-lay got delivered from Italy? Too bad. But you can still get yourself a leg lamp like the one The Old Man won in A Christmas Story. Fishnets and all.

About ten years ago a Florida yacht broker made a copy of the infamous lamp for his fiance as a joke. More than a decade later, he's selling them as a business. They run about $150 for the basic model, $439 if you want the Signature Series Special Edition, signed by the actors who played Ralphie, Randy, Flick, Schwartz and Scut Farcus. And you can have it delivered in a wooden shipping crate filled with straw. Western Union telegram announcing its arrival not included. Clear a spot in the living room window.

www.amajoraward.com

The Dragon has entered, and he's kicking ping pong ball ass.

It's one of those holiday traditions that you'll end up getting roped into sooner or later: the Ugly Holiday Sweater party. Chicks love it, and we deal with it because it's the one time of year that the worse you look, the more attention you get. From lonely chicks drunk on nog. Under the mistletoe. Wearing a sweater vest embroidered with two reindeer getting it on.

Because it's Christmas Eve and I've got places to be, I thought I'd leave you with a gallery of guys proudly rocking their embarrassing sweaters. So here's to you, wearer of ridiculous sweater in hopes of getting laid at a holiday party. We salute you. Just this once.

Megan Fox named World's Sexiest Star. [MoonDog Sports]

Anti-Christmas Movies. [Gunaxin]

Adventures In Badly Decorated Christmas Yards. [YepYep]

Nothing better than those family Christmas cards you receive every year. [Afrojacks]

Hillary Duff. Yeah, I said Hillary Duff. [On 205th]

Sexy cops that can frisk me anytime. [Uncoached]

Meet Jennifer Lamiraqui. [Salty Milk]

The noiseless racing bike. [StyleCrave]

The holidays are a stressful time. And after weeks of battling mall crowds, dealing with dysfunctional relatives and dashing through the snow from one event to another, you need some release. So grab your favorite naughty elf and work out your yuletide tension with a few of these holiday sex positions. It's what keeps Santa so damn jolly.

COMING DOWN THE CHIMNEY
It wouldn't be Christmas without someone coming down the chimney. Tell the family that noise they heard was just reindeer landing on the roof. And make sure the neighbors don't see Santa coming.

DRIVING THE SLEIGH
Jump in the driver's seat, grab her reins, and jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh.

RANDY REINDEER
Why do you think Rudolph was so pissed they wouldn't let him join in any reindeer games? If you're lucky she'll go down. And not just in history.

UNDER THE MISTLETOE
Tradition says a woman under mistletoe cannot refuse to be kissed. Tradition does not say where you have to hang the mistletoe.

WRAPPING THE GIFT
She wraps around you. You wrap around her. Everyone ...There's more

Angelina Jolie's body double. [SaltyMilk]

5 terrible places to get caught having sex during the office Xmas party. [9 to Fried]

Jennifer Ellison goes NUTS with her hottest photo shoot yet. [Observation Bubble]

Crazed fan blindsides Junior Seau. [The World of Isaac]

Carmen Electra Playmate preview. [On 205th]

Cheetah lady is no cougar, but she is batshit crazy. [AfroJacks]

Sexy Myspace girl, Vanessa Lara. [Uncoached]

Danielle Lloyd is ready for Xmas. [DJMick]

Benjamin Button is a lifetime. [Filmbender]

Rocket launcher alarm clock. [Plunder Guide]

Forget It's a Wonderful Life, the real holiday classic is A Christmas Story.

While all anyone remembers of Wonderful Life is something about bells ringing and angels getting their wings, just about everything in A Christmas Story has become an ingrained part of holiday tradition - from the visuals: Ralphie and his brother stuffed into their snowsuits, a tongue stuck on a frozen pole, destruction of the Christmas turkey by neighborhood hounds, and Ralphie dreaming of "an official Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle, a blue steel beauty with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time" - to one classic line after another: "You'll shoot your eye out, kid," "Fra-gee-lay... that must be Italian", "Ooooh, fuuudge!"

While it bombed in the theaters when it was released in '83, it's gone on to become one of the most beloved holiday movies ever. And since this is the 25th anniversary of the release of this classic, you can pay homage to the Parkers by visiting their house on Cleveland Street.

A few years ago the house was bought on eBay, turned into a museum and restored to the exact way it looked in the film. (Even though the interior shots were filmed on a soundstage in Toronto.) Everything is there, from the fully-functional 1940's kitchen complete with a plastic turkey waiting for the dog attack, to an upstairs bathroom with a bar of Lifebouy soap sporting Ralphie's teeth marks, the result of uttering of "the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words", to that leg lamp, which stays lit in the window 24/7/365.

A five minute drive from downtown Cleveland, admission is $7.50 for adults, and it's open Thursday through Sunday all year round. Although, not surprisingly, the crowds show around this time of year.

Take the tour, then head out for some Chinese food and Christmas carols... "Deck the halls with boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra."

www.achristmasstoryhouse.com

Alice Goodwin & Bianca Knight go a few rounds in the ring. [Observation Bubble]

Hot celebs ready for Xmas. [The World of Isaac]

Kourtney Kardashian one-ups Kim yet again. [Epic Carnival]

Pam Anderson looks better coming than going. [Celebridiot]

The Ultimate Sexy Christmas Gallery - 300 Photos. [Gunaxin]

How to live in your car. [9 to Fried]

Don't Know Aline Domingos? You'll Want To. [MoonDog Sports]

Alicia Keys rocks a bikini. [On 205th]

Pool trick shots. (Videos) [AfroJacks]

Crushing football hit and he still scores. (Video) [Tasty Booze]

11 mistakes of online dating. [The Guy Report]

20 drunk Santas. [Uncoached]

Adriana Lima's sexy Miracle Bra TV ad. (Video) [DJMick]

Marussia, the Revolutionary Russian Sports Car. [StyleCrave]

We love Leslie Bibb. [Salty Milk]

To help celebrate their 150th anniversary, Canadian Club is releasing a special 30-year reserve whiskey. Just in time for the holidays, letting you cross your dad, boss or favorite uncle off your gift list.

Aging for 30 years gives it a richer and smoother taste, with hints of dried fruit and spice, you can only get in this collectible limited edition. Plus the black presentation box makes wrapping easy.

$199
www.canadianclubwhisky.com

If you've got someone on your list who needs a case for their iPhone or a bag for their laptop, you can save some precious coin by knowing the code.

Agent18.com, seller of the latest and hottest computer bags and cases knows that the economy is kicking Santa's ass, so they are offering BG readers a discount.

Use the coupon code: HappyMerry08, and you'll get 20% off every product on Agent 18’s website, which are already discounted 5%-35% off of retail, letting you save as much as 55%. Which can go toward your New Year's Eve party fund.

Just spend at least $10, and do it before Jan 8, 2009, which is when the code expires.

Agent18.com

Lucy Pinder looking great with gold. [BrightBlackInternet]

Brooke Hogan goes shopping in camo. We can still see her. [Celebridiot]

The 12 most hated US sports franchises. [Epic Carnival]

Hot Brazilian girls fighting in bikinis. [Gunaxin]

This kid sure loves hores. [AfroJacks]

Dear Illuminati: More advice for the morons. [9 to Fried]

Babes of the Week. [The World of Isaac]

Katie Price is selling sexy PJs. [On 205th]

Epic church sign fail. [Tasty Booze]

Hot chicks in website tshirts. [Uncoached]

A dozen women hotter than Halle Berry. [DJMick]

Hayley Parsons, the hottest DJ. [Plunder Guide]

Wake up with Karina Flores. [Salty Milk]

Rum is one of those all-purpose spirits - it goes great in tropical summer drinks, and is also an essential ingredient in a bunch of holiday recipes for both food and drinks, like rum balls, rum cake and traditional egg nog.

To spice up your coming holiday parties here are some drink recipes, including one for unforgettable homemade egg nog, from Mount Gay Rum. Made in Barbados since the early 1700's, it's the oldest rum in the world, and has a smoothness that comes from premium molasses and Kentucky oak aging. Which makes it ideal for adding to whatever your baking or mixing up this season.

And these drinks work before dinner to get the relatives mellowed, or after, as an alternative to Aunt Mildred's fruit cake.

For more, go to www.mountgay.com

Mount Gay Pumpkin Pie Frappe
2 oz Mount Gay Rum Eclipse
4 tsp pumpkin puree (canned)**
2 tsp Sugar in the Raw (or Turbinado or Demerara)
Pinch ground cinnamon
Pinch ground allspice
3 oz half-and-half (use fat free for a ‘skinny’ version)
1 cup vanilla ice cream (slightly softened) (use fat free for a ‘skinny’
version)

Combine all of the above ingredients into a blender and blend
until smooth. Serve in nicely chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with freshly grated nutmeg.
[** There is a difference between ‘pumpkin puree’ and ‘pumpkin pie mix.’
Use the puree – it makes a difference.]


Spice Night
1 1/2 ounces Mount Gay Eclipse Gold Rum
1 1/2 ounces Scented Apple Juice*
1/2 ounce Fresh Carrot Juice
One quarter ounce fresh Lemon Juice
One quarter ounce Maple Syrup ...There's more

Take a good look down around your middle. See that? Now expect what you see to expand over the new few holiday weeks. Honey glazed hams. Holiday cookies. Nog-laden cocktails. All are gonna turn that six-pack you worked hard on all year long, into a keg.

Since there's no way you're avoiding mom's home cooking over the holidays, here’s a list of some popular seasonal favorites, and what holiday activities you can do to work off the excess each brings. And some bring a surprising amount of excess... Plan on actually eating that fruitcake? Get ready to work the snow blower for 40 minutes...

(The info comes from The Daily Plate section of LiveStrong.com. You can look up the fat and calorie content of whatever you stuff in your mouth until your New Year's resolution kicks in, and get back the fat, calorie, carb and protein content. Then get busy.)

Hot Chocolate (an 8 oz. cup is 110 calories)
Mingle with family and friends for 1 hour

Gingerbread Man Cookie (1.5 oz is 170 calories)
Have a snowball fight for 33 minutes

Honey Baked Ham (3 oz. is 170 calories)
Rearrange the furniture to make room for all your guests for 20 minutes

Eggnog (a 4 oz. cup is 140 calories)
Dance around the Xmas tree for 30 minutes

Dinner Roll – Whole Wheat (40 g is 130 calories)
Walk on a treadmill, while listening to Jingle Bells on your iPod, at 4mph at an incline of 5 for 19 minutes

Candy Cane (1 is 45 calories)
Vacuum up the pine needles for 12 minutes

Latkes/Potato Pancakes (1.5 oz. is 70 calories)
Help put the Christmas tree up for 30 minutes

Scalloped Potatoes (1/2 cup is 149 calories)
Go sledding for 22 minutes

Prime Rib (4 oz. is 350 calories)
Chop fire wood for 45 minutes

Red Wine (4 oz. is 85 calories)
Dust the family room and dining room for 27 minutes

Turkey - Roasted, Breast (3 oz. is 120 calories)
Play the piano for your family for 45 minutes

Fruitcake (2.4 oz. is 220 calories)
Use a snow blower to clear the path to fun for 40 minutes

For more, go to LiveStrong.com

It's Dirty Harry meets Training Day, with a little Havoc thrown in. Eastwood's old enough to be my grandfather, and he still intimidates the shit outta me.

A peek at Lola Ponce's 2009 Calendar. [MoonDog Sports]

Jessica Alba & Jack Black to appear on "The Office" Super Bowl Special. [Observation Bubble]

In A-Rod/Madonna news... [Epic Carnival]

Close Calls Caught On Camera. [YepYep]

Office Pranks: iPorn. [9 to Fried]

The stuff you want for Christmas. [The Jebbica]

The Ice Queen - Alexandra Helga Ivarsdottir. [Gunaxin]

Redneck sports gifts. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

Jennfier Aniston makes him feel old. [This is Illuminati]

Merry Christmas, Nicola McLean is still in lingerie. [On 205th]

12 Most Common Beer Myths. [Tasty Booze]

The Oregon Ducks Cheerleaders Know How To Party. [Uncoached]

A quickie with Vanessaa Laraa. [DJMick]

The 1100HP Twin Turbo Zenvo ST1. [StyleCrave]

Meet Reka Ebergenyi. [DJ Mick]

I had no idea ears and children were so fattening.

Not an actual cuban - because that would be "illegal" - but a rare, limited edition from cigar master Ernesto Perez-Carrillo that pays tribute to the great cigars of his homeland.

Since leaving Cuba with his family in the 1960's, Ernesto has been making exceptional cigars in Miami, and this year he's offering La Gloria Cubana Artesanos de Miami. Developed over the last six years, it's medium-to-full flavored, boasting spicy nuances.

Each cigar is a proprietary Nicaraguan and Dominican blend bound with a rich Ecuadoran Sumatra leaf and dressed in a reddish Nicaraguan Havana wrapper. They are individually handcrafted by ten Cuban expatriate rollers, personally selected by Perez-Carrillo, and only 250,000 were released this year through 100 chosen tobacconists.

If you're looking for something to put in Dad's stocking, or a celebratory smoke to ring in the new year, the collection features five frontmarks with prices ranging from $8 to $13 per cigar, and $200 to $325 per box of 25.

www.cigarworld.com

This is easily the strangest and most disturbing promo video I've seen in a while.

It's from ConsumerSearch.com, and the idea is to show how they help you find true love – with that perfect product. So they created this Fellini-esque mess, about some French guy who dumps his hot girlfriend and falls in love with... a humidifier. Complete with cringe-inducing bedroom scenes. Seriously creepy. Even for the French.

If you're not getting any lately, you might want to consider cutting your girl's DSL line. In a survey done by Intel to find the level of "Internet reliance in today's economy" (if they called it the "Do people like the Internet more than sex" survey, they probably wouldn't have gotten funding), they found that most adults rank having net access more important than having sex.

I know what you're thinking: They're Intel. They probably surveyed a bunch of cellar-dwelling gamer geeks, but that's not the case. The survey showed that 46% of women would rather give up sex for two weeks than go without net access. For women aged 18-34 49% would let sex go, and for women aged 35-44 it was 52 percent. Which means TMZ is more interesting to her than a roll with you. Humbling. By contrast, only 30% of guys surveyed, and 39% of those in the 18-34 year-old age group, would forego sheet surfing rather than Internet surfing.

Other findings include:
- 65 percent of adults feel they cannot live without Internet access. To compare, only 39% said they couldn't live without cable TV, 20% needed to continue dining out, 18% couldn't stop clothes shopping, and 10% couldn't give up their gym membership.

- 71 percent said it's important or very important to have Internet-enabled devices, such as laptops, netbooks and mobile Internet devices that can provide them with real-time updates on important issues including the state of the economy. (Or which celeb checked into rehab.)

- 87% say the Internet has helped them save money.

- 58% of all adults surveyed would rather give up TV for two weeks than give up the Internet for one. (Sure, why not? You can watch TV shows online.)

-91% say the Internet has improved their lives. Of those that said that, 71% say it's because it allows them to better stay in touch with friends and family. 68% say it helps them shop more effectively, and 47% are better able to manage their finances with online banking and bill pay.

For the full survey results and other info, click here.

Rihanna looking sexy for a Christmas concert. [Celebridiot]

Beer makes everything better. [Epic Carnival]

Top men's movies of 2008. [Gunaxin]

Don't forget to buy mom the slap chop for Christmas. [YepYep]

Ghetto fab dance off. [AfroJacks]

Ashlee Simpson's anal sex admission has Romo miffed. [MoonDog Sports]

Sarah Michelle Gellar still irrelevant. But hot. [On 205th]

A Cowboy Story. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

10 Real Shark Attack Videos That Rule. [Uncoached]

Wake up with Ali Landry. [Salty Milk]

Archery fail pic. [Asylum]

We love Brazilian twins. [Plunder Guide]

Meet Reka Ebergenyi. [DJ Mick]

Forget putting those frilly-topped toothpicks on your next tailgate party platter. Pound in these ten-penny look-alikes instead.

Pre-bent and made of plastic, these reusable "nail" picks come in a wood grain, food-safe foam caddy, and are handy handles for cheese cubes, cocktail wieners and can even help man-up mini quiches. (Should you be comfortable enough in your manhood to include them on the menu.) Or drive them through a few olives for a Handyman's Martini.

$9.95 - Box of 18
www.spoonsisters.com

How do you get in the Doghouse? Give crappy gifts. How do you get out? By buying her diamonds from JC Penny. (Although I'm not sure skipping Tiffany's for Penny's is a smart move either, but they made this video, and it;'s actually funny, so we'll go with it.)



www.bewarethedoghouse.com for more stuff.

I'm trying to imagine what went through the mind of the designer here... "Hmm, people need light. People need a place to hang their clothes... Boom! Clothes Hanger Lamp."

Basically a hanger with a fluorescent bulb inside an acrylic frame, you choose the style and color of the shade by hanging one of your shirts over it. (And at $323 for the thing, I'm surprised they don't at least throw in an old bowling shirt or something.)

Think of it as an adult version of the bandana-over-the-lamp look from your college dorm.

$323.50
www.allmodern.com

Hottest Tennis Players, Vol II. [Gunaxin]

Ashlee Simpson is a naughty, naughty girl. [Epic Carnival]

The 10 hottest actresses in holiday movies. [The World of Isaac]

Helen Tucker is T-N-T...dyn-o-mite. [Observation Bubble]

Marisa Miller + Harley-Davidson = Hot. [MoonDog Sports]

Commercials that suck the fun out of watching television. [This is Illuminati]

Photo tribute to ridiculously flexible girls. [Afrojacks]

Amanda Bynes finally showing a little skin. [On 205th]

Pics of guys caught staring. [Uncoached]

Wake up with Rhian Alise. [Salty Milk]

The Sonic Chair. [Gear Crave]

Madonna falls on her butt during Rio concert. (Video) [DJ Mick]

The worst standup ever. (Video) [DoubleViking]

It's hard enough getting dressed for the office everyday - and finding two reasonably clean, matching socks to wear - but throw in holiday parties and their baffling attire requirements, and things really get confusing.

Invitations start rolling in, and so do all of the clever (read: annoying)phrases thought up by egg nog-soaked hosts trying to be cute, such as "Holiday Casual", "Christmas Chic", "Mistletoe Merry", and "Business Festive" which were all on actual recent invites. My favorite? "Holiday Formal", which I'm going to assume means they expect you in a Santa suit and black tie.

To get some guidance, and make sure you don't show up to the next event in reindeer antlers and a blinking nose when everyone else is in a jacket and tie, I turned once again to our etiquette expert, Diane Gottsman of The Protocol School of Texas.

According to Diane, "There is no handbook for these terms, and you either have to be a mind reader or bite the peppermint-flavored bullet and call the host and ask for a little direction." If calling is not an option, most of the time you can wing it by looking for subtle clues, such as the venue of the event, the personality of the host, other guests on the list, and the time of day the party will be held. Evening affairs are typically more dressy than daytime events.

Some other keys may be found in inclusion of the words "casual", "club", "merry", "fun" or "business". Business usually means wearing a jacket, and possibly a tie. (One guy recently got an invite with "Holiday At'tie're" as the dress code, which I'm guessing means wearing a holiday-themed tie.) The others can mean various degrees of casual, going all the way from a dress shirt and slacks (casual), to a button front designer shirt and dress jeans (club), to a holiday themed or colored shirt/sweater/socks/tie/accessory/etc (fun, merry).

If you see the words "elegant" or "chic" Gottsman says it can mean high end and fashionable, but more understated than "black tie". "I think the bottom line is it's best to dress 'up' than 'down'", she says. "You can always say you are on your way to another party, and what guy doesn't want to look better than the rest of his party competition?"

If you're going to host your own affair, learn a lesson from your fellow holiday hosts, and do your party guests a favor by making your attire expectations clear. Here's a guide from Diane on what those standard invitation dress codes mean:

Formal or White Tie (Think dinner with the Queen or a night at the opera)
Black tail coat
Black pants with 2 satin stripes going down the side of the trouser
White tie and ...There's more

If you've ever installed or changed a ceiling fan, you know that it can be tougher than watching A-Rod parade around with Madonna. Nearly impossible to do by yourself, you've gotta talk a buddy into giving up an afternoon to help out. Which means you've gotta give up an afternoon to help him with whatever he wants. Like moving a pool table into his third story walk up.

Grab a Fast Attach from Safety Quick Light and you'll make this home improvement project a snap. And a one guy job.

All you do is install the female end in the junction box in the ceiling, and wire the male end onto the ceiling fan, or just about any other light fixture. Snap the male end into the female and you're done. No balancing a heavy fan, battling fan blades to the face, while you try to twist short wires together. So simple you can change fixtures for special occasions, like snapping in that blinking-nose-reindeer chandelier for your annual Christmas party your girl hates so much.

www.safetyquicklight.com

Tara Reid heads to rehab. [Epic Carnival]

What not... to... not... hell I don't care... wear it. [9 to Fried]

Marisa Miller Vs. Stacy Keibler. [Banned In Hollywood]

Christmas songs that don't suck. [The Jebbica]

Carmen Electra is busting out of her Playboy bunny suit. [Celebridiot]

The MacGyver Multitool. [YepYep]

A tribute to the 'antiquing" prank. [Afrojacks]

Krystal Forscutt punched my kangaroo. [MoonDog Sports]

MSU Playboy girl kicked out of sorority. [The World of Isaac]

Nicola McLean looking hot in some Xmas lingerie. [On 205th]

The last 10 Hawaiian Tropic International winners. [Uncoached]

Wake up with Kristin Kreuk. [Salty Milk]

A tricycle for grown men. [StyleCrave]

10 things to man-up on. [The Guy Report]

ACME tissue holder is the bomb. [Plunder Guide]

Megan Fox at Spike TV's VGAs. [DJ Mick]

You might think the office party is the perfect opportunity to eat, drink and be jolly... and show co-workers your Will Ferrell Elf impersonation, but you'd better think again.

With weekly layoffs, free-falling revenues and companies looking for any excuse to save money (read: not pay your salary), having a few too many Nogs, bumping your best client out of the buffet line or making a scene by screaming at a waiter, is a definite ticket to the unemployment line.

For tips on how to enjoy some corporate holiday cheer, without ending your career, I spoke with Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert and director of the Protocol School of Texas.

"No matter how casual the party or festive the occasion," she says, "it’s still about business and you are expected to represent the company. Your behavior tonight will either close or kill business deals tomorrow."

To ensure you still have a job after the holidays, here are some things Diane recommends:

Eat before you go.
Even at a dinner party or a function where food will be served, have a small snack that will hold you over so you don’t eat like you're on Death Row and aren’t hovering over the food stations or buffet table. Plus it'll help absorb some of the alcohol in that drink you're holding. Which brings us to...

Watch your liquor consumption.
Conversing with superiors or making a positive impression on a client means you have to be totally alert and quick on your feet. Even one drink can impair your ability to be your company best. Use your best judgment and limit yourself to one drink. Then switch to club soda. And yes, I realize it's an open bar.

Work the room.
When you arrive, make sure to greet your host and mingle with other guests. Preferably guests you don't know, did not just talk to on the cell phone on the way over and are not going to have drinks with after the event. Mingling with others makes the host feel comfortable and is the primary role of a good guest. Plus, you never know what biz contacts ...There's more

Instead of roasting your Christmas turkey in the oven all day, why not light up a yule log (actually a pile of yule briquettes), and grill your holiday bird on an open flame?

Chris Lilly, a 10-time world BBQ champion and official pitmaster for Kingsford® Charcoal, created this recipe for grilling fans to use this season, instead of the traditional roasting.

Perfect for those of us that actually look forward to getting coal in our stockings.

Charcoal-Grilled Turkey with Fresh Herb Butter
Makes 10 servings
Prep time: 20 minutes
Cook time: 3 hours, 45 minutes
Ingredients
1 whole turkey (12 pounds)
Extra virgin olive oil
Kosher salt
Coarse ground black pepper

Fresh Herb Butter
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1/3 cup chopped Italian parsley
1/3 cup chopped green onion tops
2 tablespoons chopped fresh sage
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
1 tablespoon lemon juice ...There's more

She was the original bad girl, a pioneering pin-up, and one of the first Playmates.

The notorious Bettie Page elevated fetish pics into pop art, and became the fantasy of millions of guys in the pre-TV, -video and -Internet eras. She's endured for more than 50 years and paved the way for the Pam Andersons and Cindy Margolises of today. For those - and many other - reasons, we salute her. Thanks, Bettie.

It's the classic cocktail party problem: how do you hold your drink, handle a fistful of complimentary pigs-in-blankets and swedish meatballs, and keep one hand open for glad-handing the boss or wiping cocktail mustard from your chin? If only there was some sort of mini plate you could wear on your finger...

Both completely ridiculous and pure genius, these washable, reusable plates fit most fingers and draw plenty of attention. Bring one to the office holiday party and mingle among upper management. Show off your problem solving and multi-tasking skills. I smell a corner office. Or a psychiatric evaluation.

$9.95 for a box of 10
www.spoonsisters.com

The issue doesn't go on sale until next Tuesday, but Penthouse magazine announced today that the Pet of the Year for '09 is Taya Parker.

She's the Pet I featured a couple of weeks ago, and you can see her gallery here. It's definitely worth a second look.

And for a preview of her spread (yeah, pun intended) in the new issue, click here. They've been censored by Penthouse (otherwise there's no incentive to actually buy the mag), so you should be able to take a look before leaving the office. Enjoy.

Unbelievably gorgeous ladies of the Lingerie Football League 2009 Calendar. [Observation Bubble]

Pro Athletes And Their Injury Alibis. [YepYep]

Sexy Body Painted Women. (May be NSFW) [Gunaxin]

Face haircut battle. [AfroJacks]

Hot and upcoming LA rock band The Pacific album release video. [Banned In Hollywood]

Why we hate Marko Jaric. [MoonDog Sports]

How to get free and legal pics for your blog. [The Jebbica]

Young coed learns early. [The World of Isaac]

Odd Jobs: Amenteur Moive star. (*Misspelled on purpose)[9 to Fried]

Meet Sofia Hilario. [On 205th]

Jennifer Aniston gets naked for GQ. [Celebridiot]

20 random awesome pictures of people in hot tubs. [Uncoached]

Viral video retrospective for 2008. [Boosh Magazine]

Bringing the moon into your bedroom. [StyleCrave]

Miss World 2008 - Beauties from semi-obscure countries. [Asylum]

Sara Kostov is the International Babe of the Day. [Double Viking]

Think she's hot now? Here she is 30 years older. [DJ Mick]

Tis the season to be jolly. And party. A lot.

If your holiday season is like mine, you've spent the last couple of weeks going to parties and hosting them. And we've still got a couple of weeks to go until we hit National Hangover Day.

So to keep your cocktail choices interesting, here are some recipes courtesy of the guys at Belvedere Vodka. as always, they're easy to make, and will inject a little yuletide flavor into things. While you deck the halls.

(For more head to www.belvedere-vodka.com)

Ginger Apple Snap
2 oz Belvedere Vodka
1 oz Apple Juice or Cider
1/2 oz Lime juice
Mix all ingredients in a rocks glass with ice. Top with Ginger Beer.
Serve with a slice of fresh apple and ginger.

Ramos Flurry
2 oz Belvedere Pomerancza
1/2 oz fresh lemon juice ...There's more

(Partially excerpted from God is a Woman: Dating Disasters.)

Flirting is key to successful dating and picking up women. Some guys are naturals, some aren’t. How can a guy who’s not good at flirting get good?

I used to suck at flirting. Now, I like to spend almost the entire first date flirting. I find it leads to more second dates. In fact, the best two relationships I’ve had started with excessive flirting.

How did I get good? I watched other guys flirt. I said things that popped into my head that I thought were too risqué to say. I pushed the envelope. These are the ways to get good at flirting.

Guys can practice flirting with other guys. What?! Relax, pay attention. When I’m out with other guys, we rip on each other all the time; it’s how guys bond. This ripping is not all that different from flirting. Consider a tennis match I recently played against a friend. He hit a ball into the net softly several times in a row. I ribbed him, “Hey, if you’re gonna play like that, at least trade those shorts in for a skirt.”

After he had a few miss hits—gifts to me on points he otherwise would have won—I ribbed him again, “Slut, I’ll drop you off on your corner after the match.”

One day I was playing hockey when the opposing team scored a soft goal through our goalie’s legs. Our best defenseman turned to the goalie and said, “Close your legs, you whore.”

This is not that different from the day I approached a woman who played on four different volleyball teams and asked, “You’re just a volleyball slut, aren’t you?”
Practice with the guys then tweak it a little for the ladies; good flirting will be the result.

Here are some real-life examples of me flirting that worked wonderfully (with women not guys, just to be clear):

1 - To two women holding a balloon with drawings of people in different sexual positions on it: (I approached them from behind and pointed to positions over their shoulders.) “Done that, done that, done that—ooh, that looks good—done that. So, which are your favorites? You can just point without naming them, so it’s less embarrassing.” They looked at me and laughed. I quickly followed-up with, “Hey, I’m a gentleman.” (Always remain chivalrous in your flirting.)

2 - To a woman wearing a low-cut top three sizes too small: “Wow. Okay, that is ...There's more

Make giving a bottle of holiday cheer to your brother-in-law, Dad or guys down at the shop, a little more personal this year, with customized labels and engraving.

Over at www.yourgiftlabel.com you can order up exact replicas of Kahlua, Chivas Regal and Glenlivet labels with your custom text printed right on them. For free. (Up to five labels per visit.) When they arrive, just peel and stick, and your buddy has a personal bottle he'll hopefully share with you in the spirit of the season.

If Dad's been especially deserving, and you're going high end this year, give him a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label (which'll run you around $275), and have the bottle custom engraved with up to three lines of text free of charge. Makes it special, and keeps him from re-gifting.

Head to www.johnniewalker.com or call 877-JW-BLUE-LABEL for details and locations near you.

Elisha Cuthbert looking anything but sloppy. [MoonDog Sports]

Boston Garden/North End Food & Drink Fan's Guide. [Fan Foodie]

Angelina Jolie's pre-twins ass hot from Wanted. [Epic Carnival]

Dear Illuminati: Advice for idiots, given by an idiot. [9 to Fried]

Jessica Biel gets naked in her new role as a stripper in "Powder Blue". [Observation Bubble]

Top Fifty Guy Movies of the 1990s. [Gunaxin]

Cosmetic make-up tattoo. [AfroJacks]

Red Sox Logos Leaked. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

A moment with some hot Badgers fan. [On 205th]

Italian model Rosaria Cannavo. [Uncoached]

Down under with Krystal Forscutt. [Salty Milk]

Geek chic circuit board cuff links. [Plunder Guide]

Vote for your favorite Windy City madman. [Asylum]

Terminator Salvation trailer. (Video) [Tasty Booze]

You know your girl better than me, and this is one of those gifts that can go either way: she's gonna smack you in the head with it, or it'll release her inner freak and it's Lexus-to-the-main-stage for the rest of your relationship. Your call.

Don't have a girl to give it to? Get one for yourself and see what kind of reaction it gets. It could possibly give you years of amateur stripper joy, or painfully remind you why you're still single.

$129.99
www.dormgear.net

If St. Nick has left less than spectacular gifts in your stocking over the years, you can get back at the fat bastard, and win $250 bucks.

Comedy.com just launched their first-ever “Roast Santa” competition. You submit your best Santa slam, and the funniest one walks away with the cash.

Head over to www.roastsanta.com, watch the contest video with a special message from Santa’s workshop, then leave a comment. Sure you'll end up on the naughty list for the rest of your life, but who are you kidding, you'd be on there anyway.

They're accepting entries until the 19th, and will announce the winner on the 22nd.

I've said this a dozen times: Unless you want to end up looking like the Crypt Keeper way before your time, you gotta take care of the skin on your mug. Every day. Not just slapping on some moisturizer after you shave. (For those of us that like to skip a day of the blade every now and then.) So that means using better cleansers, splashing on some toner, and maybe adding in some healing gel. Especially around your eyes, on those Mondays after a hard weekend.

And the better the product, the better the result. So I'm going to give three of you a chance to try a whole bunch of product from