Terrorist attacks, natural disasters, wars, disease and economic collapse. The world is coming apart at the seams. Do you know what to do in case of any of these emergencies?

Neither did Neil Strauss, bestselling author of The Game and Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. So he spent eight years studying what people do in disasters, and came up with EMERGENCY: This Book Will Save Your Life, an informative, and humorous, formula for survival - where he reveals tons of tips and tricks that could save your home, your money, your loved ones, and your ass.

He tells of billionaires buying second passports and going off the grid, survivalists burying stockpiles of gasoline, primitivists building self-sufficient communities, expatriates hiding their assets, and ordinary citizens stockpiling guns. It's looking more and more like the precursor to a global Thunderdome.

So, for your weekend reading, you can get a jump on covering your butt and check out a few of the chapters using the widget below. I'll be in my garage, adding armor plates and a gun turret to my car.

Yesterday a buddy sent me this story from UK's The Sun.

Titled "Viagra Orgy Man Collapses", it's about a guy who died after downing a bottle of Viagra trying to get through a 12-hour sex orgy.

Normally, I'd just chalk this up to another story about a chucklehead Darwin Award winner, but this one had a couple of interesting twists.

First, the guy wasn't some wealthy old dude, trying to prove something, like I thought when I read the title. He was a 28-year-old mechanic.

Second, he wasn't partying with a bunch of hired pros, either. Apparently a pair of female friends astonishingly bet the guy £3,000 (about $3,800), he couldn't satisfy them both, non-stop, for 12 hours. Would you turn down that bet? Me either. Even if you only make it a couple of hours and don't win any money, you still win.

Thirdly, he did it. The two chicks told police he won the bet, then collapsed and died minutes later. Bravo.

And finally, the guy's name. Tuganov. Which I'm sure there was a lot of before he went.

So we salute you, Sergey Tuganov, Viagra-popping, 12-hour-threesome-having, bet-winning, heart-exploding, come-and-go hero to us all.

During the pain-in-the ass-dance that is airport security screening, I always wait until the very last minute to put my laptop in the bin, so it doesn't go sliding through the scanner while I'm stuck at the metal detector behind some idiot who left his keys in his pocket.

That's because laptops going through the scanner without the owner watching is one of the contributing factors to more than 60,000 laptops getting stolen or lost at airports every year. So to make it easier to get through security, Skooba Design came up with the Checkthrough Messenger.

A “checkpoint friendly” laptop bag, it's specially designed - with input from the TSA - to pass through airport security x-ray screening without you having to remove your computer.

When you hit security, you just unzip it at the middle, and it'll unhinge and lay flat - a clear, vinyl "window" letting the inspector see your computer. And as the bag is sent through X-ray screening, it looks just like the laptop were removed and placed in a bin.

A convenient feature is that your laptop and all other contents are always secure, even with the hinge opened. So you can get it ready in line, while waiting for that family of six to pack all their crap into bins. After you're screened, you can pick up the bag and go, and zip it up later at the gate.

The laptop section holds all 15/15.4-inch machines, most 16- and many 17-inch models, including all Apple laptops. It also packs over a dozen compartments, pockets and organizers, including Skooba's exclusive Doc-Pocket™, which keeps your ticket and passport in reach. And to get your liquids through, the bag has a removable, zippered clear pouch. A durable ballistic exterior, heavy-duty webbing and stitching, and nickel-finish hardware mean you road warriors can throw it a beating and it'll take it for years.

Now if they could figure out a way to let us go through security without taking off our shoes.

$129.95.
www.checkthrough.com

Ever watch a music video and wonder why the visuals have nothing at all to do with the lyrics or underlying meaning of the song? Besides the obvious, that it was conceived during a drug-induced fever dream.

Dust Films did too. So they created a brilliant new series on FunnyorDie.com called Literal Videos, where they take classic music vids, and rewrite the lyrics to match the visuals.

The episode below is their fourth installment, and explains what's going on in Billy Idol's "White Wedding." Everything except what the hell is with his upper lip.

Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre. [Gunaxin]

Christy Resendes will squeeze you dry. [Total Pro Sports]

Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen get hitched. [MoonDog Sports]

Green Lantern's OTHER weakness. [Gadjunk]

Meet the Chad Johnson of Ping Pong. [Brahsome]

Check out the new user-created Hardee's Little Thickburger commercials. [Observation Bubble]

Remember When Pauly Shore wasn't irrelevant?. [Ice Ice Babies]

Tila Tequila does a little shopping. [The Beer Goggler]

Yet another hot Greek babe, Maria Louiza Vourou. [On205th]

Columbian Model Carla Ossa. [Uncoached]

Port-O-Potty beercan challenge. [Tasty Booze]

New multi-function knife design. [Gear Crave]

Heavy Metal Naming Chart. [Afrojacks]

The mind melting spirit, absinthe, has been legal in the US for a while now - the fears of people descending into madness just for drinking it having been alleviated.

Yet a lot of you haven't tried it, either because of its reputation, or because you didn't want to drink it the traditional way, mixed with water that's been poured over a sugar cube.

Le Tourment Vert Absinthe wants to change that. They've created "green fairy" infused cocktails using their traditional French absinthe that's made with grand wormwood and anise, along with other herbs like eucalyptus, rosemary, coriander, sage, and fennel.

The five recipes below are the ones they mixed exclusively for the 2009 Sundance Film Festival. I'm sure they made it easier to sit through 10 hours of indie directed "art". And they're a good way for first timers to give absinthe a try. You know, before the madness sets in.

www.letourmentvert.com

The Sundance Lift
To be served at every Sundance event
1 oz Tourment Absinthe
1 oz Tonic Water
1 oz 7Up (or Sprite)
2 Lemon Wedges
Build all ingredients in a tall glass filled with ice. Squeeze the 2 lemon wedges. Garnish with a lemon.

Green on Main
1oz Tourment Absinthe
1oz Sweet and Sour
1 oz Simple Syrup
Lemon Wedge
Shake well and strain into chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with lemon twist.

Tourment Trance
1 1/2 oz Le Tourment Vert
2 1/2 oz Cranberry Juice
2 oz Tonic Water ...There's more

This is yet another example of what I call the "Reeses Effect": the thinking that any two great tastes will taste great together.

We love bacon. Mayo is delicious on a sandwich. Boom. Baconnaise.

Whipped up by the guys who gave us Bacon Salt - and who are apparently on the payroll of cardiologists nationwide - Baconnaise is the next step in their baconizing of every meal, and the result of a customer request to make spreadable bacon. So, basically, some guy got really stoned, emailed the company that he was jonesing for some spreadable bacon, and next thing you know, they're putting it in jars.

Just in case you're thinking this is a spreadable heart attack, the makers of Baconnaise want you to know that aint so. Or at least it's no more dangerous than traditional mayo. The regular stuff packs 10g of fat per serving, while the bacon infused version comes in at 9g. You save a gram of fat AND get bacon goodness. They also say that topping your turkey sandwich with three slices of bacon has more than twice the fat, at 20.5g. Sounds downright healthy. They should be pushing this stuff on "The Biggest Loser."

Speaking of which, if you're health conscious and still crave bacon, they have a Lite version that trims the fat all the way back to 2.5g. Almost too good to be true.

Which begs the question: so how does it taste? I have no clue. They didn't send me a sample jar. So check out Jon Stewart eating a pancake-wrapped sausage dipped in the stuff (comes in at around the 2 minute mark), and you'll have your answer.



www.jdfoods.net

Unless you have a couple of days to kill, DO NOT head over to YouShouldHaveSeenThis.com

The site description pretty much tells it like it is: "Greg Rutter's definitive list of the 99 things you should have already experienced on the Internet unless you've a loser or old or something." Or an old loser.

It's all here. In no particular order. From classics like the Grape Stomp, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, and Star Wars Kid, to new favorites like David After Dentist and the ubiquitous Dramatic Chipmunk. Chocolate Rain of course made the list. So did that Leave Britney Alone hot mess. And even the one that started it all, Dancing Baby is there.

A 99 item reminder of how much time you've wasted over the years watching goofy shit on the Interwebs. And how much more you'll waste going back through the links. If I don't post for the rest of the day, you know why.

Meet Raquel Gibson. [Salty Milk]

A 30 picture Hooters bikini contest gallery. [Uncoached]

Odette Yustman in Arena Magazine. [On 205th]

Top 10 movie serial killers. [Gunaxin]

Adriana Lima Denies Pregnancy Rumors. [MoonDog Sports]

Marbury and Garnett ready to party like old times? [Cuzoogle]

How to heal a broken foot: boobs on the beach. [YepYep]

Dear Illuminati solves a dining problem. [9 to Fried]

Will Ferrell is Nate Robinson's muse. [Observation Bubble]

Arrested Development: The Movie is a go. [Brahsome]

Epic forklift fail. [Tasty Booze]

More Ana Beatriz Barros. [Style Crave]

1989 Pontiac Stinger concept. 80s auto awesomeness. [Afrojacks]

Megan Fox has called off her wedding and finally ended her longtime engagement to 90210 has-been, and now former luckiest-man-alive, Brian Austin Green. And you know what that means: All us other 3.5 billion guys now have a shot.

So on the off chance Megan will read this and send me a personal thank you email, here is a gallery of a few of my favorite shots of her, courtesy of my boys over at Chickipedia.com. (When you get your own blog, you can shamelessly star f*ck on it too.)

To see more of Megan, check out the gallery here. I'll be checking my email.

TMZ.com is reporting today that OctoMom, Nadya Suleman, has been offered $1 million by adult industry giant, Vivid Entertainment, to use her over worked and worn out lady parts for something other than repeatedly squeezing out litters.

As a lifelong skindustry fan, I have one thing to say to the folks at Vivid: Have you lost your damn minds? Did you see that pic on TMZ?? (It's right there, next to this post, in case you haven't.) The phrase "f*cking disturbing" just doesn't seem to cover it. I was celibate for a month after I saw that.

Even if those veins do recede back into her skin, (which, unless you have some sort of alien fetish, are enough to keep Little Bruno from ever coming out of his shell again), I'm guessing her over-stretched belly is covered in stretch marks that resemble ruts in a river bed after a drought. And I don't even want to think about the "flab factor". Not exactly the image I want during my "private time."

And apparently I'm not alone. TMZ's survey showed 85% percent said they wouldn't watch an OctoMom porn in a million years. (Unless our buddy downloads it free from a torrent site.)

Go vote on TMZ here.

How dominant are you when an entire sport gets giddy when you return? And when I say "sport" I mean tour promoters, advertisers and broadcasters. The competitors? Maybe not so giddy. That's because the eight month reprieve from Tiger's ass kickings ends today when Woods tees off in the first round of the Accenture Match Play Championship today.

And Nike, eager to get its Golden Boy back dominating the airwaves (as if the round-the-clock love fest by ESPN and the Golf Channel aren't enough), is airing its new spot, "The Good Life".

It showcases Nike Tour pro golfers Stewart Cink, Anthony Kim, Justin Leonard, Trevor Immelman and Carl Petterssen, and their 2008 tour wins and lifestyle improvement during Tiger's absence. And their less-than-thrilled reaction to his return.

The next spot, I believe, will just feature tour promoters rolling around naked in piles of $100 bills.

Air Force vet and model Lindsay Kaye. [Uncoached]

Mischa Barton does FHM. [On 205th]

99 Words for Boobs. [Gunaxin]

Adrianna Lima Already Pregnant? [MoonDog Sports]

Megan Fox finally single. [Sharapova's Thigh]

One lion away from forming Craptron. [Gadjunk]

Short Bus Field Trip. [YepYep]

DWade band-aid is getting ridiculous. [The World of Isaac]

The Viking Beer Bong. [Tasty Booze]

Hot chicks in school-girl outfits. [Salty Milk]

Brazilian bombshell Andressa Soares. [Plunder Guide]

If you're not familiar with Slacker.com, the free interactive Interweb music player that lets you listen to - or custom create - music stations that play your favorite tunes, go check it out. Then once you're hooked like the rest of us, and can't tear yourself away from your computer (and don't own an iPhone or Blackberry, which it also streams through), you might want to consider the Slacker G2.

The G2 is a slick portable music player that can learn your musical preferences and update itself automatically with free personalized music selections, without you doing any work on your part. It connects to Wi-Fi, grabs tunes using their DJ selection software according to your personal listening prefs, and then uses their cache technology to store the music so you can listen anywhere - and get fresh music - even when there isn't a connection. Or while your flying on a plane at 30,000 feet.

The G2 delivers CD quality music, along with album cover art and other info, and can store up to 8GB, or about 5,000 songs. Earphones let you enjoy without subjecting your seat mate or fellow cube dwellers to your unique musical tastes.

From $199.99
www.slacker.com

While everyone was digging through A-Roid's dumpster looking for used needles and Madonna's panties, Charles Barkley returned to TNT and issued a 10 minute apology for his DUI arrest last December.

In case you forgot the facts, Sir Charles had been drinking and partying with ex-Giant great Michael Strahan and Jaleel "Urkel" White in a Scottsdale, AZ club. (Which is itself a bizarre story.) Heading home drunk, Barkley spotted some chick on the street who had given him a blow job the night before. He told police he ran the red light because the hummer she gave him was "the best one he had ever had" and he wanted another. Completely understandable.

The thing about Charles is this: love him or hate him, he never holds anything back, and he never bullshits. He screws up (which is often), he tells you. Which you have to respect.

After watching A-Rod's farce of a press conference, where he stumbled and stuttered his way through a raft of crap so thick and convoluted it made me question his grasp on reality, it was good to see Barkley lay it bare.

Say "Mardi Gras" to most people and all they think of is boobs, beads and booze. Which isn't far off. But there's a lot more to this weeks-long celebration that's been a tradition for over 5,000 years. (When pagan women flashed for pebbles and shells.)

So to get you caught up on why we catch beads, drink heavily and eat king cake, here's your quick guide to all things Mardi Gras.

What does "Mardi Gras" mean?
"Mardi Gras" is French for Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday which signals the start of Lent. And since Lent is the Christian season of fasting and repentance that ends with Easter - where you pledge to give up a luxury of some sort, like chocolate, booze, porn, or the Internet - people all over the world have traditionally gone wild in the weeks leading up to it, holding feasts with abundant food, drink, and yeah, sex. It's also been tied to ancient pagan rites of spring.

Is Mardi Gras known by other names?
Other names for Mardi Gras include: Shrove Tuesday, Pancake Day and Dollar Day.

Is Mardi Gras the whole celebration or just the one day?
Both. It started as just a term to denote the final day of the party, but over time has become synonymous with the entire celebration.

Originally it was known as "Carnival", a European tradition brought to Louisiana by the French in the late 1600's. Not surprisingly, the word carnival is derived from the Latin expression "farewell to the flesh".

If Mardi Gras is the end of the party, when does the celebration start?
In New Orleans, they start the party on January 6, also known as King's Day or Twelfth Night. It signifies the arrival of the three kings at Jesus' birthplace, officially ending the Christmas season.

Is Mardi Gras celebrated only in New Orleans?
Not at all. While NO has one of the biggest and most well known celebrations, big parties are held every year in Mobil, Alabama and all around the world. The most famous (and wild) of which is Rio de Janeiro's Carnival.

Who runs Mardi Gras?
Back in New Orleans in the early 1800's organizations called "krewes" threw the parties and created floats for the parades. In the 1850's the krewes were officially charged with Mardi Gras planning and organization.

How many krewes are there?
The number changes every year, because some krewes disband and others are created. This year there were almost 40 krewes involved.

When did the parades start?
The first nighttime parade in the US was held in New Orleans in 1838, organized by the Krewe of Comus, who followed it up with a masquerade ball. The first day parade was held in 1857.

Why all the masks?
It's been a tradition to hold ...There's more

The girls of Mardi Gras. [Gunaxin]

Pride & Prejudice...& Predator? [Observation Bubble]

Innovations in toaster design. Yeah, toaster design. [YepYep]

More humorous vanity plates. [Afrojacks]

More Cal Bears pole vaulter Allison Stokke pics. [Banned In Hollywood]

Happy Birthday Sophie Howard. [MoonDog Sports]

30 websites to visit after they fire you. [9 to Fried]

Christina Milian heats up King mag. [On205th]

All-American model Jennifer England. [Uncoached]

Kendra pics. No sound. Just pics. [Tasty Booze]

Cecilia Capriotti is the International Babe of the Day. [Double Viking]

77 sexy Suicide Girls. [CoEd Magazine]

Grass in a Box. [Style Crave]

Last month, Under Armour, maker of super tight performance apparel worn by pro athletes and that guy in the gym with the barbed wire armband tattoo who grunts a little too loud, released their first-ever line of footwear.

The four road shoes and two trail shoes feature their new Cartilage technology, that works like "a 'connective tissue' between a runner and his environment to enhance performance and provide an exceptionally stable and smooth ride." Makes you feel like a machine.

The Apparition, Illusion, Revenant, and Spectre road versions, along with the Chimera and Mirage trail shoes, were designed like UA's other gear: to give you the best equipment to train with, just like pro athletes. Except for the signing bonus.

From $84.99
www.underarmour.com

Tenaya, the sexy blond porn newbie pictured here, left her previous job for the glitz, glamour and grunting of the adult film industry. Her former job? She sold Kirby vacuum cleaners.

There are so many "sucking" and "hose" jokes going through my head right now, I need to go lie down.

Some people take their Guitar Hero and/or Rock Band seriously. And have crossed the line from "amusing past time" into "slightly unhealthy obsession".

Do you suffer from any of these symptoms: You dress like Slash. Even at the office. You've installed stage lighting in your living room. You've demanded HR place bowls of green M&Ms in your cubicle. You refer to your girl as your "groupie bitch."

If this sounds like you, then you've moved way past using a cheap plastic guitar to get your Rock Band on. You need something that bridges the gap between professional guitars and gaming equipment. You're the reason dreamGear developed the WarBeast.

A life-size, wireless PS3-compatible guitar controller, it's fully licensed by iconic heavy metal guitar manufacturer B.C. Rich, and looks like it came off of Metallica's tour bus.

It's got an enhanced glowing strum bar, an adjustable whammy bar and a Star Power button, in addition to a set of built-in PS buttons. And it earns it's rock cred by adding inlaid skulls to the removable neck and a set of fret buttons on the lower part of the neck, for when it's time to rock the solo. It's as close as you can get the real thing without strings. Or a supermodel girlfriend.

$129.99
www.dreamgear.net

Yeah, I know. I feel the same way. The hair. The clothes. The trying-too-hard jewelry and accessories. It's all a little much. And let's not forget the fact he "stole" poor Hef's main girl.

But, there are some redeeming things about Criss Angel and his A&E show Mindfreak. Like the chance that one of his "death-defying" escapes might go horribly wrong. Kidding. (Sort of.) In all honesty, he's a truly talented illusionist. (He's the first ever five-time back-to-back winner of the Magician of the Year award. Suck on that, Blaine.) And aren't magicians supposed to be over the top?

Some of his stuff is truly mind blowing. Like catching nails shot from a nail gun, being cremated alive, and walking through steel. Even better, he doesn't subject us to meaningless marathon "illusions", like living naked in a water-filled glass globe for a week. (I'm talking to you again, Blaine.)

Plus, for some reason, chicks really dig this guy. Which means having his show playing on your big screen, gets her on the couch. And with the complete season 4 on DVD, she'll be planted there with you for hours, head buried in your chest, while Angel "defies death".

And I've got a copy of the three-disc set to give away. All you need to do is enter your email addy here, and on Friday, Feb 27 I'll pick one of you at random. And the set will magically appear in your mailbox.

For details on the DVDs, click here
Click here for info on the show, and some clips.

Thigh of the Week: Minka Kelly. [Sharapova's Thigh]

Bulletproof hair weave saves woman's life. [YepYep]

Video: What is G? Gatorade Meets MTV. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

Busty Polish beauty, Ewa Sonnet. [Gunaxin]

People We Hate: Whiny college acoustic covers. [Afrojacks]

Kellita Smith: Some brown sugar for your breakfast cereal. [MoonDog Sports]

Your top 10 favorite cartoons as a kid. [Cuzoogle]

Orko was an O.G.: Original Gay. [Gadjunk]

Doutzen Kroes gets topless for V mag. [On205th]

Charity Hodges: Legendary bikini model. [Uncoached]

Hidden images in twenty dollar bills. [Tasty Booze]

Start your week with Andree DeSanti. [Salty Milk]

Mickey Rourke speech is the highlight of movie week. [Asylum]

Karen Carreno: Coffee Shop Hottie. [Plunder Guide]

Director James Gunn is back at it again with his PG Porn series for people who love everything about porn, except the sex.

The new episode, Squeal Happy Whores, is my new favorite. And IMHO, the funniest one yet. Adult video minx Jenna Haze, is in full-on "who is that guy on my couch" mode when the guy starts belting out a Broadway worthy show tune about all the nasty things he's going to do to her. It's how porn would be if Andrew Lloyd Webber got involved.

Even though there is no nudity and no actual sex acts, it's completely offensive and comically filthy. (Make sure to put your headphones on, so you don't offend your officemates.) The song is so offensive, Spike.com actually pulled it from their site. And these are the guys who bring us Afro Samurai and Playmate Show & Tell. So that alone makes it a must-see.


PG PORN: Squeal Happy Whores

If you've ever spent time behind a bar serving a never-ending parade of drunk and obnoxious borderline AA cases, you know that bartenders can be one Appletini away from stabbing someone to death with a cocktail pick.

My buddy Scott clued me in to "The Bartender Hates You" web series over on FunnyOrDie.com, where the resident mixologist deals with assholes the way we wish we could. Some are funnier than others, and this one is one of better episodes.

If you didn't get in on the $200 Southwest gift card giveaway that ends today, you still have a shot at a free trip to Vegas.

VisitLasVegas.com is holding a vegas Bound contest. All you need to do is create a video telling them why you need to blow off steam in Las Vegas - in under 60 seconds - and the winning entry gets a trip to Vegas. They are taking submissions until this March 16th.

Head over to www.youtube.com/lasvegas to post your entry, and check out the competition. Two shots at a Vegas trip in one week. I'm gonna say the odds are in your favor.

Speaking of the Oscars... from Mr. Skin, the horn dog movie geek who built an empire posting all the nude scenes from movies (and crushed Seth Rogan's dreams in Knocked Up), comes a compilation of the Top 5 Naked Oscar Nominees, serious actresses who have gotten seriously nude.

(He's censored all the naughty bits, so it should be SFW... depending on where you work.)

There is a list of Sunday night's Academy Award winners making the rounds on the Interwebs today.

It appears to be a letter from Sid Ganis, the president of the Academy, to all the Academy members, letting them know who the winners are. And telling them to handle the info "with extreme care." Is this a legitimate list? I highly doubt it.

Here's why: they make a big deal at all the Oscar ceremonies that only the independent accounting firm that tallies the votes knows who the winners are. And the envelopes with the winners are sealed and protected by armed guards.

Why go through that if Sid's just gonna be sending letters out to Hollywood offices, where underpaid and over-abused employees are highly motivated to sell the info to the highest bidder. Not happening.

But it is an entertaining read, and probably dead on with a lot of the picks. (Except my money's on Benjamin Button to take the Oscar for visual effects over "leaked" winner Iron Man.) If you want to read the list for yourself, click here.

Holly Sampson: The Wonder Years girl gone wild. [MoonDog Sports]

2009 Oscar predictions. [Gunaxin]

Top sugar-ific candies of the 90s. [Ice Ice Babies]

The best of FOTC's Murray? [Sharapova's Thigh]

The Galloping Ghost: Q&A with Red Grange Biographer Gary Andrew Poole. [HHR]

Little kid gets worked by a gi-normous medicine ball during dodgeball. [Brahsome]

Man steals money from Girl Scouts but didn't take cookies. [Observation Bubble]

Celtic's fan, um, dances. [On205th]

Meet Polish model, Andrea Myrander. [Uncoached]

Conan says goodbye to the Masturbating Bear. [Tasty Booze]

Adriana Lima and friends. [Salty Milk]

Laura Michell Prestin is the International Babe of the Day. [Double Viking]

Gisele Bundchen scorches in DT Magazine. [Style Crave]

Garbage in, garbage out. That adage works for everything from computer code to cocktails. The better your ingredients, the better your final result.

For those margaritas you're going to be making this weekend, try using Corzo ultra-premium tequila instead of the cheap stuff. And I promise you'll see a huge difference.

Hand-bottled in its distinctive designer packaging (which at first, I gotta admit, made me think it was cologne), Corzo is double aged, triple distilled and has twice the Agave of other tequilas.

It's available in three luxury marquees – Silver, with a smooth citrus flavor mixed with vanilla; Reposado, which has hints of oak and honey; and Anejo, a smooth tequila with rich honey and caramel.

While ultra-premium liquors are usually mean to be sipped straight or on the rocks, mixing one with other premium spirits and fresh juices makes for some unforgettable cocktails. And here are a few Corzo recommends you try. For more, go to www.corzo.com.

Modern Margarita
1 1/2 parts CORZO Reposado
2 parts fresh orange juice
1/2 part premium triple sec
1/2 part fresh lime juice
Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a lime slice.

Corzo Sol
1 part CORZO Reposado
2 parts fresh orange juice
1/2 part grenadine
Build the drink over ice in a highball glass. Garnish with an orange or lime slice.

Pinatini
1 1/2 parts CORZO Silver
1 1/2 parts pineapple juice
1/2 part premium triple sec
Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a pineapple slice or orange twist.

Starbucks made their bones on high quality coffee, brewed and served by their expert baristas. Now, with people watching every dollar - and a lot more resistant to spending $4 bucks on a cup of coffee - Starbucks has been watching profits shrink and stores close.

So they've finally done what many people thought they'd never do: come out with an instant coffee.

They're calling it Via, and two flavors (Columbia and Italain Roast), hit the shelves nationwide in March. And from what I'm hearing and reading from people who were lucky enough to get the free samples before they sold out, it's nearly impossible to tell the difference between this instant and their fresh brewed. The reason for that is they microgrind the 100% arabica beans in a way that preserves the essential oils. Other instants haven't been able to do that.

But the most attractive feature has to be the price. Forget shelling out $3 or $4 for your morning jitter fix. A box of 12 Via packets is going to run you $9.95. Less than a dollar for Starbuck's quality joe. (And for a limited time, they'll give you free shipping too.)

Personally, part of why I went to Starbucks was to check out what interesting facial piercing today's barista was sporting, but for a fraction of the cost, I'll stick to brewing it at home.

www.starbucks.com.

This Sunday, February 22, is National Margarita Day. Why it's not closer to Cinco de Mayo, I have no idea, but it's a good excuse to get 'faced on a football-less Sunday.

One of the world's most popular tequila drinks, the margarita is traditionally made with 2 parts silver tequila, 1 part orange liquor (most often Triple Sec or Cointreau), and 1 part fresh lime juice. (Trust me, you want to use fresh lime juice, not the bottled stuff.) Then it's served over ice in a salt rimmed glass.

Those ratios are often played with, depending on taste and who is mixing. For example, the classic margarita from Tequila Herradura calls for 1 oz of their Silver tequila, 1 oz of Cointreau and however much lime you can handle. For the "frozen" version, add all ingredients to a blender with some ice and blend away. And you can't forget the flavored versions - strawberry, raspberry and mango - favored by sorority girls and office assistants on happy hour.

For some knowledge to drop during your celebration this Sunday, here are a few margarita facts to impress with:

- There's debate over who invented the margarita, but a popular story has it invented in 1948 by socialite Margarita Sames. According to the legend it was during a party at her cliff side hacienda in Acapulco, that Margarita began looking for something cool to cut the dust of a hot afternoon. So she experimented by mixing Tequila Herradura, Cointreau and fresh lime juice. And apparently kept the party going for two weeks.

- The only "officially recognized" margarita by the International Bartender's Association, is the version served on the rocks with a salt rim.

- The margarita was the most popularly ordered drink in 2008, representing 18 percent of all mixed drink sales in the US, followed by the martini, rum and coke, vodka and tonic, and the Cosmopolitan. (Cheers On-Premise Handbook 2008)

- According to a 2008 Brown-Forman survey, on average, Americans consume 185,000 margaritas per hour. (No wonder the economy is in the tank.)

- The South (Alabama, Florida, North Carolina, Texas, etc.) accounts for 34.9 percent of margarita sales. (Cheers On-Premise Handbook 2008)

- Atlanta, Miami, St. Louis and Nashville are among the best major metro cities for the margarita (Cheers On-Premise Handbook 2008)

- The first frozen margarita machine was invented in 1971 and it was based on a soft-serve ice cream machine

- The US is the number one tequila market – much larger than Mexico (Cheers On-Premise Handbook 2008)

Meet Asian model, Reon Kadena. [MoonDog Sports]

Hot UK reporter, Charlotte Jackson, breaks her nose jet-skiing. [Observation Bubble]

Slumdog Millionaire actress Freida Pinto: Secretly married? [Gravy and Biscuits]

Boy Marries Dog To Prevent Tiger Attacks. [YepYep]

1980's: The Golden Age of Wrestling. [Gunaxin]

Getting your drink on: New Belgium's Mighty Arrow Pale Ale. [Sharapova's Thigh]

10 things more believable than A-rod's story. [The World of Isaac]

Hayden Christensen ruined Star Wars, hot chicks don't care. [Brahsome]

It's another Dear Illuminati. [9 to Fried]

Hillary Duff's new photos? Hot. [On205th]

Bad Girls Club star and Playmate Sarah Michaels. [Uncoached]

Babes of NYC's Comic Con. [Asylum]

Hot chicks in boy shorts. [CoEd Magazine]

LG solar powered phone. [Plunder Guide]

No question sex sells. So even "artsy" cable channels are finding that having risque programming brings in eyeballs. More eyeballs than indie films and documentaries.

Hence Naked Love at Sundance Channel. A mix of (sometimes bizarre) animations, shorts, quizzes and interviews, it shows even the sophisticated get horny now and then.

Here's one of their shorts, an on-camera version of the game "Have You Ever?" you used to play at junior high parties. (Fair warning: some of these people's responses may cause images in your mind you wish hadn't been formed.)

You can rock out in your living room with Fender Custom Furniture's Deluxe Stratocaster® Table, a fully-functioning coffee table shaped like the headstock of the classic rock guitar.

They're made to the exact specs from Fender's own custom shop, and are crafted of hand-selected solid maple, screened with the iconic Fender logo, then custom stained and varnished with a slightly tinted finish to resemble the tone and color of a vintage guitar.

And because you don't want to ruin the finish of your rocker table while drinks flow during the groupie party, you can use one of the six chrome-plated steel tuning peg caps that are flush mounted into the table as makeshift permanent coasters.

And if you're looking for a place to sit while you serenade your girl(s) with the rock ballad you wrote especially for her/them, park your spandex-covered butt on the Blackface Hotseat.

Each one is hand-built to look exactly like a Fender amp, and when you turn the volume knob, it releases the top cushion, so you can store your picks, strings, 80's hair-band wig, bandanas, etc. (Yeah, I'm talking to you Brett.)

$750.00 - Deluxe Stratocaster® Table
$180 - Blackface Hotseat
www.fendercustomfurniture.com

Even though I've got a slight Wii addiction going on right now, I'm no hardcore gamer. But I have heard the stories of gamer geeks spending days in frag parties, blowing stuff up, not sleeping, not eating. (I'd add "not showering", but I think you know that's a given.)

To help them stay alert and their trigger fingers sharp, a couple of geeks created Mana Energy Potion, a premium energy shot made by geeks especially for geeks.

The bright blue liquid is packaged in a golf ball-sized bottle that looks like it's straight out of a video game. It packs a powerful dose of vitamins and delivers 5-8 hours of jitter-free energy without any sugar or a post-buzz crash. Yet one shot delivers as much caffeine as two cans of Red Bull.

For the health-conscious geek, they've created Health Energy Potion, with the same features as Mana, a mellow apple-cinnamon flavor (Mana's is tart and sweet), and packs helpful natural herbs, such as elderberry and ginseng, and the vitamins biotin and folic acid.

You might want to grab a case for the tech support guy in your office. Keep him from napping in the server room.

$3.49
www.manapotions.com

Jenny McCarthy is still hot and $50 million richer. [MoonDog Sports]

Audrina Patridge hits the beach. [Banned In Hollywood]

09 Fantasy MLB second basemen preview. [Sharapovas Thigh]

Top 10 Punk'd pranks. [YepYep]

Favorite spam round up. [9 to Fried]

Five new career paths for Chris Brown. [Gunaxin]

Gonzaga mascot gets a bit inappropriate with a cheerleader. [The World of Isaac]

The single greatest music video known to man. [Observation Bubble]

Hot models + black and white photos = awesomeness. [On205th]

15 hottest Playboy centerfolds from 1985-1990. [Uncoached]

Another awesome keg stand faceplant. [Tasty Booze]

Fight Club: Fictional Office Boss Edition. [Double Viking]

Student guitar design rocks string theory. [Style Crave]

Yesterday, I posted about outrageously priced, individually packaged luxury ice spheres for the wealthy to use to chill their $300 imported vodka.

After seeing that, a reader emailed me about these ice molds that let you make your own expensive looking ice balls - complete with grooves to give them that "hand-carved" look - without having to spend a fortune.

The molds make a pair of ice balls (you can only refer to them as "spheres" when you pay $8 bucks apiece for them), that are 2-inches in diameter and resemble the hand-made balls carved by apprentice bartenders in Japan.

Apparently they don't melt as fast as traditional cubes, and will keep your drink colder, longer, without watering it down as much. Plus they look cool in a martini. And now you can have a bucketful of ice balls for your next party without having to mortgage your house.

$8.00
www.momastore.org

She takes on Hollywood in her nightly show, and now she's taking it all off.

Chelsea Handler, star of the E! celeb gossip show Chelsea Lately, where she regularly rips starlets new ones for doing things like posing nude, is going to bare all for Playboy.

Now, I dig Chelsea. She's hard drinking, foul mouthed, funny as hell and isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Was she high on my list of celebs I wanted to see naked? No. She probably falls somewhere far below Rachel Bilson and way above Martha Stewart. She wasn't even in the spank bank. But she's definitely a chick I could have a drink or five with, and sneak out of her hotel room the next morning.

Via Gravy and Biscuits

Times are tough. And we can all use a little motivation and guidance right now. And you're probably not going to get the best advice from your bar buddies or the guy in the next cubical who doesn't know how to refill his stapler.

Instead you can access wisdom from people who actually know what they're talking about on the new site FiveRulesForLife.com.

You'll find pearls of wisdom rolled out like we like them: in short, quick bursts. No long "self-help" articles. No drawn out stories. No nagging about bad habits. Just some words of advice you can use - or ignore - from authors, CEOs, teachers and regular guys.

So, because I fit some of the categories above, here are my Five Rules for Life:
- Everything Dad told you was true.
When I was a kid I had no clue why he was so concerned about milage on the car, or what temp the thermostat was set at. Now? Crystal clear.

- Beware of the quiet ones.
This goes for women, pets, and potential employees.

- Always buy the first round.
You guys who wait until the third of fourth round, when some of the group has left or stopped drinking: we're on to you.

- There's no such thing as a good one-sided deal.
Whenever a guy tells you he's got a deal that is incredibly beneficial to you, it's guaranteed to only be incredibly beneficial to him.

- If it's funny, laugh at it.
Forget political correctness. Laughter heals. And some of the funniest stuff is completely politically incorrect. Don't deny yourself.

Read the other advice at www.fiverulesforlife.com

Sarah Blewden, a 25-year-old model-turned-almost-boxer from Britain, has been banned from fighting because of her breast implants.

And it's not because the hot blonde fighter has gigantic novelty boobs, the kind common to the beaches of LA. Blewden's boobs are a reasonable 32C, but a medical expert told the boxing commission her chest was at risk of "capsular contracture" or distortion if her implants were repeatedly hit.

Blewden argued hers are gel implants and not liquid so they won't burst. And would pay for corrective surgery if they got damaged. She even offered to wear a breast protector, but no go.

So, for now the "model" (I couldn't find any pics of her on the Interwebs, except for the three here), will have to stick to her day job of running a beauty salon. And our dream card of a Sarah Blewden/Gina Carano bout will have to wait.

Top 10 modern fetish models. [AskMen]

Top TV theme songs of the 90s. [Ice Ice Babies]

Bollywood's top ten sexiest actresses video. [Gunaxin]

Happy 20th birthday, Super Soaker. [Sharapova's Thigh]

Shahar Peer denied access to Dubai. [The World of Isaac]

Odd Jobs: Here is your sign. [9 to Fried]

Our burning questions for A-Rod. [HHR]

Flaming shots gone wrong. [Afrojacks]

Sarah Palin was probably able to see this sign from Jebus. [Brahsome]

The most delicious looking biscuits you have ever seen. [Observation Bubble]

Isla Fisher showing some leg on the red carpet. [The Beer Goggler]

New Gina Carano photos for Maxim? [On205th]

British model Emma Boughton. [Uncoached]

SI cover model, Bar Rafaeli. [Tasty Booze]

Meet Candace Swanepoel. [Salty Milk]

Louise Glover: Super British Babe. [Plunder Guide]

Everyone has their own hangover cures, and a lot of them call for downing a sports drink (or even the kid's drink Pedialyte), to re-hydrate and get some much-needed electrolytes and vitamins into your system.

But some nights cause more damage, and call for more than a couple of aspirin and a Gatorade. So the next time you're trying to recover from a late night booze bender, and need to be on-the-ball the next morning, try a Code Blue instead.

A "recovery beverage", Code Blue uses science - instead of frat-house witch-doctory - to get you back in shape fast by hydrating, replenishing and detoxifying your body.

Like sports drinks, it gets fluids in there to help stop the headache that can be caused by dehydration, and it loads you with vitamins, minerals and electrolytes. But unlike sports drinks, it adds in Reduced Glutathione, a powerful antioxidant that aids in liver function, helping to flush those extra dry martinis from your system quicker, and some Prickly Pear juice to boost your immune system and pump in some much needed Vitamins A and C.

And instead of the sugar you'll be ingesting with sports drinks, Code Blue uses Agave Nectar as a sweetener, with its added bonus of being a natural anti-inflammatory.

I got pretty banged up at a V-Day party this weekend, and I tried one when I got up Sunday afternoon. Let's just say the taste won't put Vitamin Water out of business, but it wasn't anywhere near as medicinal as I expected. And it helped quell the marching band in my head. I didn't make it to the gym, but I did make a NASCAR barbecue in decent shape. And according to company reps, drinking one before going out gives you extra protection. Now they need to come up with something that keeps us from drunk dialing ex girlfriends.

www.drinkcodeblue.com

Put down your lunch before you read this, I don't want you choking on your cup of Ramen noodles.

You probably didn't know this, because you were busy updating your resume to get ready for the job fair, but there's a California company selling individual luxury ice "spheres". They are "hand carved in Canada" from frozen purified water, so as not to "contaminate" the premium liquors enjoyed by people wealthy enough to blow $8 on each ice ball.

That's right. It's not $8 for a 5-lb bag of them. Or even a 1-lb bag. They are Eight. Dollars. Each.

Maybe it's the time it takes for ice workers to hand carve perfect spheres. (Which is totally necessary because apparently the rich hate corners. And round ice that comes out of a mold is so last year.) Maybe it's because each ball comes individually packaged and shipped with dry ice. (And if you don't see the irony and abject obnoxiousness in using dry ice to ship luxury ice, then you don't deserve to drink cold beverages.) Or maybe it's because Glace, the company selling these over-priced frozen water balls, realizes that the rich will pay anything to prove to themselves how much more special they are than the rest of us.

So while half the country is unemployed and searching the classifieds to find a job that'll pay them enough to feed their familes, we can be comforted in knowing that the wealthy are snuggled in their mansions with special ice balls that keep their ultra premium vodka from being tainted by ice made from tap water. With corners.

Via Geekology

The way the economy is going, people are stressing out all over the country. And when you've gotta let off some of that steam, there's no better place than Las Vegas.

Which is why VisitLasVegas.com decided to send the entire town of Cranfills Gap, Texas (pop. 350) to Vegas for some much needed R&R. It's the first time in history an entire town (Update: Only 100 of the residents went.) has taken a vacation en-masse. (No one on line at the DMV, however, noticed any difference.) None had ever been to Vegas before, and some had never been out of Cranfills Gap before. Lets just say, you take a bunch of cooped up country folk, and drop them on the Strip, stuff happens. (Video clips from their trip are here.)

And because VisitLasVegas.com wants you to experience your own stress-busting Vegas weekend, they're going to give one of you a $200 Southwest Airlines gift card to help get you there. Use it to fly in one weekend, live it up, and return home with your head clear.

All you need to do is enter your email addy here and you're in the running. On Friday the 20th, I'll pick one of you at random to win. And then it's goodbye cubicle, hello Vegas.

On the chance that you were out with a real live girl Saturday night, and not sitting home surfing the Interwebs, you probably missed Jason from IWearYourShirt.com wearing a Bachelor Guy shirt all day.

I sponsored Valentine's Day on IWYS, and the poor bastard was forced to take his girl out while she stared at my name the whole time. I would have felt bad if he had to wear that gray BG logo tee out to a nice V-Day dinner for two at a fancy restaurant, but apparently he decided a movie, fruit shopping, and some sort of group dinner was in order. How romantic.

You can read Jason's post, see more pics and a video here.

It's the hissy fit that won't die... and in his latest batshit blowout, Christian Bale tears his new rookie DP, Peter Griffin, a new one.

Lucia Dvorska looking great in lingerie and bikinis. [Gunaxin]

Thigh of the Week: Olga Kurylenko. [Sharapova's Thigh]

Zuzana Drabinova - Czech TV chicks are hot. [MoonDog Sports]

Original gaming chair/impromptu boinking apparatus. [Gadjunk]

Toilet man prank goes very wrong. [Afrojacks]

RETRO MAXIM: Luli Fernandez looked great in the Feb '06 Maxim Argentina. [Observation Bubble]

Jerry Bruckheimer - What the hell? [YepYep]

Britney Spears tearing up the LA freeway. [The Beer Goggler]

The hottest figure skater ever, Anna Semenovich. [On205th]

Czech Beauty and WAG Jana Jankulovski. [Uncoached]

Manuela Furtado. Enjoy. [Tasty Booze]

Jewel Santini is the International Babe of the Day. [Double Viking]

The Insight Infinity Tee. [StyleCrave]

So it’s Valentine’s Day, the most important day out of the year for many women.

If you are in a long-term exclusive relationship, you know the drill – flowers, chocolate, and take her somewhere nice.

But what if you’re single, not committed, dating multiple women, etc? That’s when Valentine’s Day gets tricky. But don’t worry, we have some special Love Systems techniques designed to help you out in each case:

If You're Single:
Go out. There will be lots of single women looking to meet people. Be prepared for questions like “why aren’t you on a date tonight?” or “why don’t you have a girlfriend?” Don’t answer these head-on. Make a joke out of it by saying your nine girlfriends sent you out to look for a tenth or that you feel guilty because you technically never broke up with your second grade girlfriend when you moved schools and don’t want to cheat on her.

Here are some valuable Valentine's Day tips to help turn the day to your advantage:
- Send a mass text message of "Happy Valentine's Day" to all of the women in your phone, whether you've talked to them recently or not, and even if a woman's been blowing you off. You have nothing to lose.

- Send this text in the early afternoon... women who are interested in you will text back.

- For the ones who text or call back, the dance starts. Let the conversation go a bit and then ask her what she's doing tonight. If she's not sure, say that you were going to boycott Valentine's Day and grab a few drinks and invite her to "join up later." Imply that you'll be doing this whether she comes out or not.

BUT - this is the important part - keep your line of retreat open. If she responds with anything other than a "not sure" or some other hint that she's available, you need to have a solid reason why you're not doing something. For example:

YOU: [Random conversation.] What are you up to tonight?
HER: Going to party, you?
YOU: [Noticing that she hasn't hinted at seeing you tonight.]
"Ha, I'll be getting used to being an uncle. I'm in Chicago this weekend; my sister had a baby yesterday!" or
"Me too. But it's a white party and I just realized I have nothing white. I might have to resort to bleach."
- Do NOT imply that you have nothing to do.

- If you end up meeting up with someone through this method, do NOT act like it's Valentine's Day or make it all romantic. Go to a bar or club, have some drinks, have fun.

If You're Dating Multiple Women:
- If you’re seeing multiple women in your city and each of them would expect to get taken out on Valentine’s, then leave town. I’m serious. Find some work or family excuse. Don’t try to split your Valentine’s into multiple dates ...There's more

Looking for a way to impress her for V-Day? Sure you can cook her dinner - and women love a guy who can cook - but there's something about baking something special for her that just makes a chick's clothes fall off.

And because there's the usual "that's so fattening" issue that always arises when you break out the sweets, here's a simple recipe for a Red Velvet cake from Chef Chris Malon of www.zonedeliveryusa.com, a meal delivery service that makes healthier meals based on a ratio of 40% carbs, 30% protein and 30% favorable fats.

Even though it's got a sweet cream cheese icing, the recipe keeps the fat and calories down by using egg substitute, Splenda, low fat buttermilk and soy protein, while still keeping the flavor high. She'll love the cake, and love you for looking out for her figure.

Healthier Red Velvet Cake
1 1/4 cups cake flour
3/4 cup soy flour
1/2 cup soy protein
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups Splenda ...There's more

Timing is everything. On the heels of A-Rod juicing, Plaxico shooting, and various other athletes behaving badly, comes East Bound and Down, a new HBO series about an arrogant, burned-out, former major-league star pitcher. After a spectacular career flame-out, he's forced to return home to North Carolina to teach Phys Ed at the middle school he once attended. Wreaking havoc, cashing in the last of his dying fame, and plotting his inevitable comeback. While hilarity ensues.

How much hilarity? The series is executive produced by Will Ferrell (guest staring in two episodes, with hair that stomps all over Ron Burgundy's coif), longtime partner Adam McKay, and Danny (Pineapple Express) McBride, who plays the mullet-sporting former big league reliever, Kenny Powers. You can say there's high probability for hilarity.

The show premiers Sunday Feb 15 at 10:30pm on HBO. (And will probably be replayed every hour on one of the dozen or so HBO stations.) I heard a rumor MLB might make this required viewing for its players.

Just as an FYI (because I'm sure this doesn't pertain to you...), today, Feb 13, the day before Valentine's Day, is unofficially known as "Mistress Day".

This is the day guys set aside to spend some time with "the other woman", before showering their wives and girlfriends with flowers, gifts and expensive dinners.

According to a Harris Interactive survey conducted for LifeStyles Condoms, they estimate a mind-blowing 87 condoms are used each second on Valentine's Day. Yeah, but I think even more are used the day before.

If you're looking to get your girl something sparkling, but need to save some dough, because your budget is squeezed, check out DiamondShark.com.

Every day they have a ridiculous sale on a single piece of jewelry, available for only 24 hours, then it's gone. There's no archive, no leftovers page, so you've got to check it out every day then jump on it when you see the perfect piece for your girl. Takes some patience, and possibly a few days, but if you can make her happy for less, worth the wait.

www.diamondshark.com

Sexy ladies dressed for Valentine's Day [Gunaxin]

Kelly Hu gets sexier every year. [MoonDog Sports]

Remember Weird Al? [Ice Ice Babies]

Adult video "actress" Audrey Britoni. [The Beer Goggler]

The McLovins will McMelt your face. [Brahsome]

Mark your calendars: March 14th is Steak & Blow Job Day. [Observation Bubble]

Longest hockey fight ever. [Afrojacks]

Miranda Kerr was born to model. [On205th]

A collection of hot bartenders. [Uncoached]

It's Free Shit Friday at Busted Coverage. Win Dexter and Weeds DVD sets [Busted Coverage]

Conan O’Brien + Gordon Ramsey + Norm MacDonald = Hilarity. [Tasty Booze]

Brianna Frost is hot. (Get it?) [PlunderGuide]

Sure she's as real as the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny or A-Rod's stats, but she's still ruined me for all other women.

(Partially excerpted from the book, “God is a Woman: Dating Disasters.”)

A lot of guys complain that the hardest thing to do is break the ice with a woman. That’s why many guys use lines. I’m not a fan of lines. They sound insincere, most are old and tried, and if a woman falls for them, I typically lose respect for her, followed by a loss of interest.

Instead, look for the common-denominator. The common-denominator is the thing the guy and girl have in common. There is always a common-denominator. It just has to be found.

For example, one night I was out with a buddy, waiting for a table at a pool hall. We set up shop near a table of three women playing, one whom immediately caught my eye. I waited. On one of her shots, she ran the cue ball along the edge of the pool table. It nearly fell off but managed instead to fall onto the table and into a pocket. Bingo. I approached her after she and her friends laughed about the shot. I raised my beer in a toast. “I’ve played a lot of pool, but that is the most original scratch I’ve ever seen.”

She toasted me and laughed. Shortly thereafter, one of the ladies left and my friend and I paired up with the two remaining women for some team play. The one I liked took my number and called me the next day.

Look for the common-denominator - it’s there and the conversation will flow much more naturally. Don’t create false common-denominators— “Did you see the fight outside?” or “My friends and I have a question...” Again, it’s been done to death and it’s deceitful, which almost always leads to trouble. If there was really a fight outside or you and your friends really have a question (which still sounds lame, you’re better off using a common-denominator to break the ice, then asking your question later), then by all means use it to break the ice.

Why does the common-denominator work so much better than lines and why is it so important?

1- It’s sincere and when it comes to women—and most aspects of life—sincerity sells, especially in a market saturated by insincerity and tired products (lines).

2- Because it’s based on the environment and circumstances at hand, the common-denominator is fresh.

3- Instead of becoming comfortable with your game (lines, set responses, comments, and so forth), you’re becoming comfortable with women, which is what you really want. Think of it like water and a container: If you’re comfortable with lines and game, you’re comfortable with the containers. If the scenario is one with which you’re comfortable—say a bar, club, or party scene—you simply change the container appropriately (mug, chalice, bowl) and fill it with water. Great; however, wouldn’t you rather be the water? If you’re ...There's more

Advice for those of you dating a "professional" Valentine.

Dating a tree-hugging eco-chick and need a romantic place to take her for dinner? And the only healthy place you can think of is the juice bar at Whole Foods? Grab the new guides to dating in NY and LA from Zagat.

The legendary restaurant and entertainment ratings publisher famous for its quotation mark-laden reviews, surveyed over 4000 locals in New York and LA, and came up with a pair of pocket-sized guides to everything from romantic restaurant reviews, to bad-date survival tales, to stats about dating preferences. (Like the fact that most New Yorkers think that the man should always pay, while in LA it's whoever extended the invitation.)

You'll get suggestions for great dating brunch spots, places to take cooking classes where potential dates hang out, little-known romantic spots, plus a list of night spots and other unusual places to take your date. They provide ratings of food, decor and service, along with an estimate of cost for the meal, plus a drink and tip, so you can avoid date night menu shock.

And the reviews are in categories that make it easy to find just the right place to take your girl. Like that eco-chick. Zagat's NYC edition lists Savoy in SoHo in its Eco-Friendly section for some "fabulous" "farm fresh" fare while sitting among "country-home" decor. For about $58 per person. It'll charm her right out of her hemp-woven dress.

Looking to dump someone instead? Zagat's got you covered there too. They've got a listing of the best places to let her go, including ones with spectacular views so you have an excuse to stare into space, and places with hot servers so you can flirt openly and prove you're no good for her anyway.

$5.95 each
www.zagat.com

Here are some more cocktails to help lubricate the wheels of your after dinner V-Day activities.

And because three of them feature Three Olives' chocolate vodka, they make a more adult, and more fun, alternative to that box of chocolates you were eyeing.

Kiss Me You Fool
3 oz Three-O Chocolate Vodka
1 oz Black Raspberry Liqueur
Shake with ice and garnish with raspberries.

Chocolate Covered Cherry
1 oz Three-O Chocolate Vodka
1 oz Three-O Cherry Vodka
1 oz White Crème de Cacao
...There's more

East Carolina's Cassie Adcock "SI.com Cheerleader of the Week". [Observation Bubble]

Are you Maria Sharapova's mystery lover? [Sharapova's Thigh]

Blogger Confesses: I've been on the Juice since I started blogging. [MoonDog Sports]

Ten great basketball shots to use in H.O.R.S.E.. [Gunaxin]

SNL In The 90's. [Ice Ice Babies]

Joaquin Phoenix acts like a douchebag on Letterman. [The World of Isaac]

Hope for the hopeless. It's Dear Illuminati. [9 to Fried]

A gallery of misspelled tattoos. [Afrojacks]

Mo's Bacon Bars: The Real Man's Candy. [Brahsome]

Jana Cova is a pink thigh high sock wearing fox. [The Beer Goggler]

Lucy Pinder in lingerie for V-Day. [On205th]

Ten awesome live news TV blunders. [Uncoached]

Rick Fox's sister Jeanene Fox is a fox. [SaltyMilk]

Awesome windshield wiper hack. [Tasty Booze]

The new Maybach Zeppelin. [StyleCrave]

Here's a clip from the upcoming Transformers II movie/GM commercial where the new Stingray will make its debut.

Let's hope, like with the Camaro, the response will be so huge, Chevy will actually produce the thing. Instead of just leaving us drooling. (BTW - check out the new electric Volt in the clip, trying to hold its own.)

Now that you're more comfortable with using more product on your skin suit than a bar of soap and maybe some aftershave, step up and upgrade your grooming supplies.

Urth Skin Solutions is a new line that pulls in Eastern wisdom by creating guy-specific formulas made from Asian herbs and botanicals, pure essential oils, vitamins and phyto-nutrients. All combining to create a small anti-oxidant army against the crap we subject our epidermis to every day.

Their complete line of products for face, body and shaving contain ingredients you'd more likely see in a tea house - like ginseng, chamomile and green tea - than in your grooming kit. Think of it as health food for your skin.

And to get your outer shell in V-Day kissing shape, urth is offering free priority shipping on orders over $50 until Feb 12th. Just use the coupon code: LOVE during checkout. It'll give you a couple of days head start to repair the damage.

www.geturth.com

GM just released video of the new Corvette Stingray concept and it's pretty impressive. (And there's a couple more pics below the vid clip.)

Dipping into the retro design well that was so good to them when designing the new Camaro, this 'Vette concept brings back the iconic split window from the '63 version, along with huge side vents, and the most aggressive front fascia I've seen in a while.

In the video below, Ed Welburn, VP of Global Design for GM, takes us a walk-around that explains everything that gives this new Vette it's sick new look.


And below are a couple of additional pics of the new Stingray

One of the problems with online dating is: most people lie. And by "most people" I mean "everyone".

Old pics. Exaggerated profiles. Switching gender. Anything to increase interest. So why not forget all that and just go in blind? The odds of getting a surprise when you finally meet is pretty high anyway.

At CrazyBlindDate.com you select your city (eight are available now, with more being added), answer a couple of questions about when and where you want to meet, the general type of woman you're looking for, and they'll pair you with someone at random. No need to photoshop a photo, stumble through a questionnaire or write a bullshit profile. Within a few hours, you could be sitting across from the girl of your dreams. Or some dude who lied.

www.crazyblinddate.com

With Valentine's Day approaching, you single guys may feel a little left out. But don't sweat it. You can always turn to the old standby: picking up a cougar.

Or rather, letting a cougar pick you up. And according to Ilona Paris, author of the book, Hot Cougar Sex, the best places to make yourself available as cougar bait are: the gym, the grocery store, Home Depot (typical pickup line: "Can you help me? I'm looking for some caulk."), sports bars, the Puma store, and tanning salons, where they're working their skin into a leathery brown.

Once firmly in your cougar's dragon-nailed grasp, there are some things Ilona recommends you never say. Until, of course, it's time to get her to move on. (She's got eight, but I'm sure there are more. So feel free to add them in the comments below.)

1. So, how old are you?

2. (When she mentions a historic event) I wasn't born then.

3. (When she tunes in a station on the car radio) That music is from the old days.

4. Don't you have an iPod/iPhone/other high-tech device?

5. You don't use Botox, do you?

6. Do you dye your hair?

7. You might want to work out more to tighten things up.

And finally, 8. Cosmos are so old fashioned.

She was born in Israel, started modeling at the age of eight months, dated Leonardo DiCaprio, appeared in Maxim and GQ, and is now your 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model.

So, for your viewing pleasure, here are a dozen shots of Bar Refael for you to enjoy. And when you're not staring glassy-eyed into your monitor, keep your eyes on the skies. SouthWest Airlines is "wrapping" one of its 737s with a giant image of Bar, and will use it to take the models from NY to Las Vegas on the 12th. Tickets for the flight are on sale now, and fares are running from "Your Left Testicle" to "Shit Out of Luck."

It's Elizabeth Banks' birthday, and we get the gift. [MoonDog Sports]

Behind-the-scenes video of a Lingerie Football League photo shoot. [Observation Bubble]

The Jennifer Aniston Leg Show. [The Beer Goggler]

How to eat for $3 a day. [The Jebbica]

The Willie Warmer: A Snuggie for your penis. [Brahsome]

A tribute to fallen sodas. [Gunaxin]

90s Grammy winners that never hit again. [Ice Ice Babies]

Move over Jim Carrey, A-Rod is stepping up to bat. [Cuzoogle]

"MLB Front Office Manager" is trash. [Sharapova's Thigh]

Time Waster: Instant Rimshot. [9 to Fried]

Bianca Beauchamp in Supergirl cosplay. [Bam Kapow]

Luli Fernandez scores one for Argentina. [On205th]

Great moments in Al Bundy and hot chicks. [Uncoached]

8 People who married animals. [The Shark Guys]

Rare Ferrari up for bid. [StyleCrave]

I knew you'd want some deep and insightful tips on what to do for your girl on Valentine's Day this weekend. But I seriously didn't feel like talking to a bunch of anthropologists who teach women's studies at the university. (And trust me, you did not want to see the photo gallery.)

So instead I asked a bunch of lingerie models from Beverly Hills Model and Talent. Not as insightful, but who cares? They're half naked. (And modeling corsets from our friends over at Shirley of Hollywood just in case you're looking for something to buy your girl for V-Day.)

In the pic above are, left to right: Athena Lunberg, Stacie Hall, Jessica Hall (co-founder and ex-Playboy model), Cristal Camden (co-founder and ex-Playboy model), Shalen Meirs (former Playmate), Shay Lynn, and Denise Underhill. Below are their tips. And a few pics for your viewing pleasure.

Athena Lunberg: "Do not do the typical movie and dinner, do something unique and romantic."

Stacie Hall: "Valentines Day to me is just another day. Maybe because I go on dates regularly. Ha ha. A tip for a guy would be, be yourself and make me laugh, 'cause humor is the best."

Jessica Hall: "I like when the whole day is about us. Turn off the cell phone and you better of made reservations in advance! Not eating at 5:30pm or 10pm because that's all they had left when you call a week before."

Shay Lynn: "I like to wear my sexy lingerie for my man! With a night at home with lots of chocolate and loving."

Denise Underhill: "I like a guy who is romantic, but doesn't try too hard. I'm simple. Dinner, flowers and I'm happy!"

Trade in your worn out leather wallet (or if you're really out of touch, your nylon velcro one), for a durable dosh instead.

It's made of polymer desmopan, a material thats sturdy and water resistant, yet has a soft, luxurious leather-like feel. (And for you tree-hugging, animal kissers: no four-legged friends died to make it, and all materials are recyclable.)

Compact and sleek, it forces you to take just those essentials, and keeps you from stuffing the thing full of excess crap. Like George Costanza. And if you like a little color mixed in with your money, you can skip the usual black or brown and go for one of the more flashy color combos. (Just expect some comments from the guys at the bar.)

Choose from a 3- or 6-card version, with molded inserts to hold your plastic. (There's a larger version to hold Euros, with a snap-shut compartment.) A brushed stainless steel clip keeps your bills locked in tight. Cause you need to hang on to the few you've got left.

www.dosh.com.au

Take two guys - Jason Chambers, a mixed-martial-artist and professional fighter, and Bill Duff a former pro football player and wrestler - throw them in a strange city, give them some training in a specific martial art, then toss them in a ring with a fighting master in that art, and you've got Human Weapon.

Each episode of this bruising History Channel show takes Chambers and Duff through foreign continents, exotic villages, and back alleys as they learn how each place gave birth to its distinct form of combat. Then become human punching bags as they experience first hand (and first face), the extreme effectiveness of arts like Muay Thai, Karate, Judo, Eskrima Stick-fighting, Savate Street-fighting, Kung Fu and others. (What, no Cobra Kai?)

And I've got the entire first season of Human Weapon to give away. Four discs and over 12 hours of worldwide ass kicking can be yours. All you need to do is enter your email addy here, and Friday the 13th could be your lucky day.

Bow to your sensei and check out some clips here.

How many phone numbers do you have? Most likely close to a half dozen: Home. Cell. Office. Fax. Skype.

What about email addresses? Home. Work. Your old AOL one from '98. The one your girl doesn't know about.

Or better yet, how many social networking profiles do you have? Between Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, YouTube, flickr, Twitter and the other 5 or 6 minor ones you've been invited to join by people you barely know, you probably have double-digit profiles you're juggling.

With people moving and job-hopping so frequently lately, and business cards becoming out of date by the time the ink dries, it can get even harder to keep track of changes to phone numbers and emails, and get contacted by an old business colleague who has a new deal - or that chick you met six months ago at happy hour.

So, of course, there's a Web 2.0 solution. Give them your .tel address instead.

Last week, Telnic began selling the new top-level domain, .tel. Grab your name (jump on it, the "land rush" has already begun), and you can easily create a one-stop site that contains all of your info in one spot - like an online, permanent, updatable business card. (Check out the demo.)

Switch jobs, and you can update your work phone and email with a couple of clicks. Move, and simply enter your new mobile number. Anyone who has your .tel addy can always get your new info instantly. Which is why The New York Times is saying it “has the potential to become a phone book for the Internet.” (So to keep telemarketers and other people you don't want to have access to any or all of your info, you can add password protection.)

During the land rush, which runs until March 24, the cost of grabbing your .tel name starts at about $300 per year. (Which is a little spendy to grab HeywoodJablowme.tel as a gag.) After that, it drops to about $20 per year. But if you wait and you've got a common name (you listening John Smith?), you risk losing it to someone else. Along with that chick from happy hour.

www.telnic.com

French anchor, Virginie Efira, delivers more than news. [MoonDog Sports]

Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely. [Gunaxin]

Get your drink on: Tommyknocker Ornery Amber Lager. [Sharapova's Thigh]

Drunk woman carves her name in lover's arm while he's asleep. [Afrojacks]

Video Flashback to Grammy Winners of the 90s. [Ice Ice Babies]

Taylor St. Claire is Wonder Woman. [The Beer Goggler]

Californication's Madeline Zima. [CoEd Magazine]

Alessandra Ambrosio gets nasty for Elle. [On205th]

Venezuelan actress and MILF, Gaby Espino. [Uncoached]

SI swimsuit issue preview pics. [Busted Coverage]

Meet Carolina “Pampita” Ardohain. [TastyBooze]

Former Miss Great Britain, Danielle Lloyd. [PlunderGuide]

Here's where I need you to help me help you.

We've all heard the men-are-from-Mars-women-are-from-Venus arguments back and forth on why we don't understand each other. So I'm giving a seminar in a few weeks where I'll have a panel of women who are going to talk openly about everything they wish guys knew about them, and will answer questions from guys on anything we want to know. All anonymous. All wide open.

Think of it like being a fly on the wall when they go the ladies room to talk about you. Priceless info will be flowing.

What I want to know is: what do YOU want to know? If you could ask a chick any question - and get an honest answer - about anything from what pick up lines actually work, to first date deal breakers, to dealing with their mood swings, to what they want in bed, I want to hear what it is. Just leave a comment below.

Now's your chance. Stop spinning in circles trying to figure out why women do what they do. Ask, and get the answer. And ladies (I know you're out there), you can help too. Leave a comment. Tell me what you think guys need to know. So we can stop trying to be mind readers.

Stay tuned.

You might not be able to afford to surprise your girl with a trip to Paris (or even take her to a French restaurant, for that matter), but that does not mean you can't treat her to some V-Day elegance.

A tin of caviar and a glass of champagne is simple to serve, but will make her feel like a queen. Without putting you in the poor house.

Don't worry if you've never even seen caviar, let alone served it. I spoke to the experts over at Sterling Caviar and got some tips. And it's a lot easier than you think.

First, chill a bottle of champagne or California sparkling wine, preferably pink. (Unlike with wine, many of the pink champagnes are actually better than the whites.) And pair it with black pearls. Of caviar. Sterling's caviar is taken from farm-raised white sturgeon under exacting conditions that give it that fresh taste of luxury.

Place the tin of caviar on a bed of crushed ice (it's gotta be kept cold), and find a small spoon that's not made of metal, especially silver. (Metal reacts with the caviar and can give it a metallic taste.)

Serve on lightly toasted bread - not heavily salted or peppered crackers - the flavor can overpower the caviar. If you're feeling creative you can add some cream cheese or sour cream under the caviar. Or a little chopped red onion, boiled egg, capers or chive. (You can get more serving ideas from Sterling, here.)

She'll be impressed, and you won't spend a fortune, or all night fumbling around in the kitchen. Or all week fighting for a reservation.

From $68
www.sterlingcaviar.com.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again for those of you who rode the short bus in and didn't get it the first couple of dozen times: When it comes to giving your girl gifts, "Personal" beats "Expensive" every time.

Show her you were listening - you weren't zoning out to SportsCenter when she told you her likes, her hobbies, what she dreams about - when you went gift shopping, and you'll reap greater rewards than if you just broke out the platinum card and dropped a couple large on the first thing you saw. Trust me.

So if you're looking for something personal she'll treasure forever, you might want to try a charm bracelet. It's a gift with retro-chic flair (I can't tell you how many chicks I've dated that have a cherished charm bracelet that was once their mom's), that you can fill with charms that show her how deeply you know her.

A good place to start is C.H.A.R.M. They've set up a site designed with gift buying-challenged guys in mind. Don't know where to start? Just answer five questions about your girl: Do you have a special date? What are her hobbies or activities? Her favorite destination? Children (names/boy or girl)? Some of her favorite things? - and they'll create a personalized charm bracelet and ship it over. Perfect gift for her, with no heavy brainwork for us. Just the way we like it.

Bracelets start at $250 and the charms at $65 each. So if your budget is tight, you can have a couple of charms included and put the others into a wish list, reserving them for future gift giving. See? I got you set up for the next half dozen holidays, too. You're welcome.

www.charmco.com

Wine and champagne may be the most common choices to pour for your Valentine next week, but if your girl likes hers with a little more kick (and god bless her if she does), then shaking up some tequila cocktails is in order.

Here are three from 1800 Tequila that are sure to get her in the V-Day Night mood. Quickly. You might end up skipping the model-the-new-lingerie part altogether.


Sparkling Kiss
4 oz Sparkling Wine
1/2 oz 1800 Select Silver Tequila
1/2 oz Soho Lychee Liquor
1/2 oz Raspberry Liquor

Combine ingredient in a mixing glass and pour into the bottom of a champagne flute. Top with sparkling wine or champagne.

Raw Diamond
1 oz 1800 Select Silver Tequila
1/4 oz Pear Puree ...There's more

I know it's been a while, but I'm getting ready to crank up the BG email newsletter machine once again. A lot of you have been asking when they are coming back, and the answer is: Now.

I'm in the process of moving my email list over to a new service, and emails have gone out asking you to opt back into the list. (No way around it. It's one of the rules of the new service.) And a bunch of you have emailed me asking if the email you got asking you to click a link to re-up is legit. It is.

Once you click, you'll be back on my list and will start getting the Friday Roundup emails again, along with occasional ones for special offers or posts that can't wait until Friday. Or are exclusively for subscribers only.

As always, I don't sell, rent, loan or otherwise abuse your email address. And when my crack tech team gets the sign up button to work with the new service, which should be today or tomorrow, you guys who were never on the list can sign up. The sign up form is down there on the right side of the site. Stay tuned.

The new future Mrs. BG: Holly Weber. [Sharapova's Thigh]

Requiem for a toy. Um, action figure. [Gadjunk]

Jennifer Aniston won't be using eHarmony. [MoonDog Sports]

The sexiest Australian, Miranda Kerr. [Gunaxin]

Eliza Dushku takes off her clothes to promote Dollhouse. [Celebridiot]

Try this, Guitar Hero addicts. [AfroJacks]

Sure she's annoying, but we love looking at Daisy De La Hoya. [CoEd Magazine]

Another Greek goddess: Patricia Millik-Peristeri. [On205th]

Another hot soccer player WAG. [Uncoached]

The Hopside Down beer mug. [TastyBooze]

They brought us Jackass. And Viva La Bam. And now MTV,the network that turned the nut shot into a prime time entertainment juggernaut, is reloading the testosterone and adrenaline tank with two new shows: Rob Dyrdeck's Fantasy Factory and Nitro Circus.

In Fantasy Factory, pro skater Rob Dyrdek of Rob and Big fame, has turned a 25,000 square foot industrial complex into a skateboard and sports funhouse filled with zip-lines, foam pits, skate ramps, and an industrial sized first-aid kit. Action sports pals swing by regularly to dream up new insanity. (Premiers Sunday night at 9pm EST)




For Nitro Circus, Jackass producers, Jeff Tremaine and Johnny Knoxville have teamed up with the creators of the Nitro Circus DVD series, Travis Pastrana, Gregg Godfrey and Jeremy Rawle to create an adrenaline-fueld pissing contest for your viewing pleasure. Pastrana and other extreme sports pros compete to see who can best tempt death, give him a firm "F You", and come out alive. Think of it as Jackass on steroids, with a side of Jager shots and a complete absence of common sense. In other words, television gold. (Premiers Sunday night at 10pm EST)

I've been getting a lot of questions about having a threesome. Mainly, how does a guy go about getting one? Ah, yes, the threesome. A huge fantasy for all guys. No doubt I'm being asked because I had a threesome with twins, which is the ultimate guy fantasy.

Personally, I have no interest in threesomes anymore. Or even one-night stands. Of course, if you've read my book God is a Woman: Dating Disasters you already know all this.

Women wonder "What's the big deal? Why would you want to be with two women at the same time?" There are two butts, four breasts, four legs... it's simply a matter of math. Why not three women, then? Or four? Please, are you trying to kill us? We're not machines! (In other words, we would if we could.)

Truthfully, there seems to be an innate desire in men to experience a variety of types of women. We have an insatiable desire to know what a blonde looks like naked versus a brunette. We wonder if a redhead's hair is the same color in all places. Naturally, the idea of experiencing and taking in visual comparisons on the spot is especially appealing.

In the end, a threesome is not that big a deal and not as fulfilling as a good relationship with the right woman. Of course, no guy out there is going to buy that until he experiences a threesome himself. Some things you just have to experience for yourself to believe.

My first threesome was with cousins (not mine, you idiot). My second was with twins. I screwed up a chance to have a threesome with sisters and passed on the chance to have one with a girlfriend and her best friend. Notice a pattern?

Like most guys, I always thought women would have to be strangers to be involved in a threesome, which is perhaps why I couldn't have one, previously. It wasn't until I worked with a comedian who had been a disco DJ in the 70's that it was explained to me. He once had been with three ex-girlfriends all together ...There's more

Now you can drop F-bombs like a famous movie star.

Tear your buddy a new one, Bale style. Tell your boss you and he are "seriously fucking done professionally." Hit your coworkers with a "for fucks sake" for drinking the last of the coffee. Or just use it to generally over-react in a full-blown male diva hissy over any little thing.

Via Ugo.com Christian Bale Soundboard

It looks like the economy is forcing more couples to celebrate V-Day at home this year.

So if you're planning on replacing the night out with a night in, you might want to get a bottle of wine to go along with that box of chocolates you got her. Why? Because after peanut butter, wine is chocolate's favorite partner. The combination results in a unique and enhanced flavor explosion she'll love.

But not all wines work well with chocolate. So, to help you choose the wine that pairs best, I spoke to the grape lovers over at Bottlenotes.com and had them pull together a few of their favorites.

Three are very affordable and work with any budget, and a couple are a little more spendy, but hey, we're talking about making your girl happy. And if she aint happy, you aint happy.

Plus, in the spirit of Cupid's holiday, Bottlenotes is giving you a promo code: CUPID you can use to get free shipping through Feb. 14.

Here are Bottlenotes' notes on wines that pair well with chocolate:
1. Cannonball Cabernet ($15/bottle)
Not every wine-chocolate pairing needs to be painfully thought through. Sometimes you want something to make an impromptu pairing happen with that extra piece of fine chocolate you have in the cabinet. If so, Cannonball is the answer for you. At $15, it seriously over-delivers in quality. With hints of cocoa powder in its chalky tannins, and juicy, wild berries, it’s a great complement to a piece of chocolate, whether Hershey’s or RICHART.

2. St. Barthelemy Zinfandel Port ($20/375 ml bottle)
With Zinfandel in and of itself a classic chocolate pairing, its ...There's more

Instead of getting your girl flowers that'll just wilt and die, (and cost you double what they were on Feb 13th), get her some flowers that'll not only last, but will protect her iPhone or iPod.

Agent18.com is offering a coupon code that'll get you 40% off all their FlowerVest cases for her iPhone, iPhone 3G, iPod Nano and iPod Touch.

Just enter: AgentValentine during checkout. But just like those roses you shelled out a Benjamin for, the code is only good until Feb 15th.

www.agent18.com

Who is the hotter Princess Leia: Kristen Bell or Olivia Munn? [Observation Bubble]

High school cheerleaders from TV and movies. [Gunaxin]

Happy birthday Rita G. [MoonDog Sports]

Boo Weekley thinks George W. Bush is dead [Brahsome]

But mommy is doing it naked. It's Dear Illuminati. [9 to Fried]

50 Cent to launch men's cosmetic line. [YepYep]

Hot babes doing body shots. [CoEd Magazine]

Amazing uses for empty beer cans. [Asylum]

Awesome Segway faceplant. [On205th]

America's Hottest College Freshman, Cassie Keller, turns 19. [Busted Coverage]

2007 Penthouse Pet of the Year, Heather Vandeven. [Uncoached]

The ultimate beer fridge. [TastyBooze]

Rachel Bilson has turned to the world’s oldest profession. [The Beer Goggler]

Maybe you and your girl are looking to record a few "memories" for posterity. Or take some sexy shots for some alternative V-Day fun, saving money on an expensive dinner out. Or maybe you're just trying to get that fitness hottie from the gym naked.

Whatever your motivation, taking a sexy nude photo doesn't have to be rocket science. With some simple tips, and a decent digital camera (no embarrassing trips to the one-hour photo), you and your girl can create some hot pics for your private viewing pleasure.

I asked New York City based model, Isobella Jade, to share her insights and expertise, and a few of her personal photos, all by photographer, Robert Milazzo, who also lends a helping hand. (And they have been censored, so I don't piss off my advertisers, and lose the few I have left. But it's all about the "art" anyway, right?)

You can see more of Robert's shots of Isobella in the current issue of NUDE Magazine, and also catch her in an upcoming episode of Life on Mars on ABC, where she plays, surprisingly, a stripper.

Here's Isobella:
When it comes to being able to take a sexy photo you don’t need to have the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue on your resume credits, but you do need good lighting, the right angle, and a few handy accessories.

Talk First, Shoot Later
First and foremost, let the model talk. I like it when the photographer asks if I have any ideas to bring to the shot, and I can bring out my creative side and put my personality into the shot. (For example: I made the artistic looking peacock and beaded bikini bottoms in the shots here.)

Map it Out
A photo shoot usually brings better results when the model and photographer are on the same page. When shooting for an editorial in a magazine or an ad campaign, usually there is already a set concept that needs to be done, but the model will be a better model if she understands the concept behind the shoot (not just, "I wanted to see your tits"), no matter if you are in a professional studio or your own man-made one. Especially if she is half naked.

Stroking is Important
Some models might need a vocal ego boost to get in the model mood, but I feel sexier and more confident when the photographer compliments not just my curves but my eyes, cool hair style, or my smile before we start shooting. It lets me ...There's more

This is Agent Provocateur's version of what happens when you cancel a date with a lingerie model. Think of it as their Valentine's Day tip for guys.

But I gotta tell you, if this is the punishment, I'm breaking dates all over the place.
(May be NSFW)

Just because you're cutting back on certain luxuries during this downturn/recession/depression/hell-ride-to-the-poorhouse, it doesn't mean you have to skimp on one treasured weekend activity: Beer pong.

Head over to BeerPongCoupons.com and you'll find "secret" discount codes on tables, gear and other essential merchandise. Like that Pong A Long table pictured above. Enter coupon code FRIENDS and save yourself $35 bucks. Enter code XTREME at OfficialBeerPongTable.com and you'll save $30 on one of their top-of-the-line tables. On some deals you save 65% off retail. It's better than an economic stimulus package.

There's no membership fees, no giving up of your email info. Just search the site, grab the codes and enter them at checkout. Then use the savings to upgrade from domestic to imported.

www.BeerPongCoupons.com

Caption this cheerleader pic. Win something. [The World of Isaac]

Odds for which model will land SI swimsuit cover. [YepYep]

Don't let your perverted mind take control. [Afrojacks]

What's the big deal about Phelps smoking weed? [MoonDog Sports]

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" to be syndicated [Sharapova's Thigh]

Got coworkers like this? [9 to Fried]

Enhance your vocab with some new lingo from the Brahsome Dictionary. [Brahsome]

“Pair of pants, a stupid story, a huge markup. I can do that.” [Observation Bubble]

Sexiest Female on the Planet: Group 9. [On205th]

20 eye-opening celebrity "Now and Then" shots. [Uncoached]

Say hello to Natalie McGhie. [Salty Milk]

Worst tattoo of the week. [TastyBooze]

Retro-styled electric scooter. [StyleCrave]

Playing pool on a sheet of glass might be a little like trying to putt on a sheet of ice, but over at Nottage Design, they've figured out a way to do it.

Check out the video of their transparent-top pool table. The world's first. And quite possibly the world's coolest. A special resin-coated glass top replaces the traditional felt-covered slate top, and they claim the balls not only behave just like balls do on felt, but they have a "floating in air" effect. Which may take a little getting used to. Especially if you're having a few cocktails.

Details here.

Listen, I know not everyone is going to have a Valentine to spend Valentine's Day with. Sad but true reality of dating life. So to help you survive the day alone, I'm going to suggest you play with yourself. On the Wii.

Don't have a Wii to play with? IWearYourShirt.com has got you covered. Jason Sadler, the guy who is (ingeniously) selling his chest as ad space by wearing a different t-shirt every day all year, will be wearing a Bachelor Guy tee on February 14th. (I'm all about the love.) And because we want you desperate and dateless guys to have something to do while everyone else is out spending way too much dough on a price fixe dinner for two at a restaurant with a pretentious French name, Jason has pledged to give one of you lucky readers a brand new Wii.

I have one, and I'm a full-fledged Wii-tard. I can't get off the thing. So believe me when I tell you, it'll take your mind off the fact that your roommate is dipping Cupid's arrow in his new girlfriend in the next room.

Here's all you have to do: Check out Jason's daily shirt on IWearYourShirt.com, and leave him a comment or two. Hit him up as a friend on Facebook. (His profile is here.) And watch his daily live broadcast on Ustream.tv every day at noon PST. (It's also embedded below.) Then click here and enter your email address.

On Wednesday, February 11th, we'll pick one of you at random to win the Wii. We'll also pick a second prize winner of a $50 Starbucks gift card, and a third prize winner will get a pair of his and hers t-shirts from CoEdMonkey.com, a sponsor of IWYS and t-shirt printing co.

It's almost enough to make you break up with your girl. So enter now.)

(Side note: If you want Jason to wear your shirt and promote you on Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, Ustream.tv, and other, head over to his site, and pick a day. There are only 100 or so left, so get going.)

You prayed to the culinary gods, and they listened. No more is beloved bacon relegated to breakfast side item or burger topping. Forward thinking and pork loving chefs around the globe are recognizing bacon's potential as a dessert. Yup. Meat. For dessert.

And I'm not talking about bacon being served as dessert at greasy, side-of-the-road barbecue joints either. In a Time Magazine piece, they talk about trendy urban bakeries serving up bacon-laced treats like bacon cupcakes, bread pudding with bacon brittle, and a bacon chocolate crunch bar. There was even bacon ice cream churned out by contestants on Bravo's Top Chef. (Ben? Jerry? You listening?)

Why the sudden love of adding pork saltiness to sweets? According to the Time article: "Bacon works in dessert for the same reason peanut butter works with chocolate, or sea salt with caramel. Salt brings out the depth of flavor in desserts (try eating a salt-free brownie), and fatty foods are often cut by sweetness, like foie gras with Sauternes or fried chicken with honey."

And bacon has become the Jackie Robinson of dessert meats, opening the door for other entree staples to cross over as after meal treats. Like the foie gras surrounded by cotton candy served at Washington's Minibar and Los Angeles' Bazaar, or shrimp and salted caramels served at LA's Sona.

If you're thinking of trying some sweet bacon goodness at home, or whipping something up for your Valentine (because nothing says "I love you" like chocolate covered pork), Time has five recipes here.

And you can watch a video of chefs Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo of Los Angeles' Animal, throwing together a batch of their Bacon Chocolate Crunch Bar, here.

Joanna and Marta Krupa are the twins of your dreams. [Observation Bubble]

Meet Busty Penny Mathis, and her gun. [Gunaxin]

NBA's memorable white guys of the 90s . [Ice Ice Babies]

Great Achievements in Chest Hair: A Gallery Tribute. [Afrojacks]

And he did it all without thumbs! [Sharapova's Thigh]

Miley Cyrus upsets Asian community. [MoonDog Sports]

The babes of Survivor Tocantins. [Cuzoogle]

Cops frisk sexy Brazilian women in hot relish ad. [Brahsome]

Tila Tequila knows how to push the right buttons. [The Beer Goggler]

THIS is why the Cardinals lost. [On205th]

Hot South African blondie, Jaycelle Propst. [Uncoached]

Kiss Me undies and a counterclockwise rotation can be mesmerizing. [WiiHotties]

The 1 second Miller High Life commercial. [TastyBooze]

Hiking, ice fishing, mountain biking... if you're heading out to do any of these, packing as much gear into as little space as possible is key. Kuru footwear is made to give you the support you need, yet has collapsible uppers that makes it ideal to stash in your pack. With the bonus of giving a comfortable, sock-like fit.

They've got an urban style that works for street wear, and the KuruSole® Midsole Chassis with Orthotic HeelKradl® makes them durable and high-performing enough to wear as trail shoes. And since that means you'll be subjecting these kicks to mud, dirt, water and other nasty stuff, the uppers are water and stain resistant and offer breathability and moisture control. (Which also helps keep the after-use odor lever down.)

Their best-selling Chicane (top), features their Kribs asymmetrical lacing system that wraps around your foot, giving you the extra support you need on the trail. The Halcyon (middle), has a more sneaker-like look for everyday use and an antimicrobial treated liner. Or grab the Slipstream (bottom), a slip-on with a stretch heel and side stretch panels for easy on and slipper-like comfort.

It almost seems wrong to be this comfortable on the trail.

$99.95-$114.95
www.kurufootwear.com

Last week I posted that Attack of the Show hottie and full-on pie lover, Olivia Munn, was campaigning to get people to sign a petition urging members of Congress to change National Pie Day to National Pie Week.

The kicker on the deal was, if she got the 10,000 signatures necessary, she promised to dive into a giant pie, wearing "something special". Well, over 60,000 of you signed, and Olivia made good on her promise.

So, I give you Olivia Munn, diving into a giant chocolate cream pie, in a sexy French maid outfit. Which I'm sure will be showing up on eBay soon.

Happy Birthday Isla Fisher. [MoonDog Sports]

Sexiest Super Bowl XLIII Commercials. [Gunaxin]

The Ultimate Hilarity Post. [YepYep]

Michael Phelps cleans his bong with chlorine. [Brahsome]

Redneck tries to sell a 1974 original K.I.S.S. tour shirt to a bunch of hippies in line for Phish tickets. [Observation Bubble]

Faye Reagan & Holly Webster probably want some privacy. [The Beer Goggler]

Bruce Springsteen gets a little too close. [The World of Isaac]

AZ residents fed hardcore during Super Bowl by Comcast. [Banned In Hollywood]

Alyssa Milano at ESPN's Super Bowl party. [On205th]

20 hottest Maxim Hometown Hotties of 2004. [Uncoached]

How about a little Candice Michelle? [Salty Milk]

Valentina Zelyaeva is your Monday Morning Pick Me Up. [TastyBooze]