A new survey conducted by the makers of AXE body spray (pseudo-cologne aimed at 18-24 year old guys, who think women like this stuff, and don't know any better) found that the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is one of the biggest party nights of the year. (Apparently the 18-24 year olds they spoke to have never heard of New Year's Eve, Fourth of July, or even Halloween.)

Dubbing this phenomenon "Hometown Hump Day" (Hallmark, are you listening?), AXE found that more than half of all singles in that age group plan on going out Thanksgiving Eve, and almost 70% of guys plan on, or hope to, hook up. Almost 70%? Someone needs to check their figures. When's the last time ANY 18-24 year-old guy went out and didn't plan on hooking up? Five bucks says 30% of those surveyed are lying.

Nevertheless, in the interest of helping guys everywhere overcome the challenge of a Hump Day hook-up, AXE has set up a hotline where an expert dishes out no-holds-barred advice to guys 24 hours a day, through the weekend. Who is the expert? I'll ask you: who would be the first person you'd think of to give advice to lovesick 18-24 year-old guys? Exactly. Estelle Harris. The actress who played George Costanza's mom on Seinfeld.

Call 888.AXE.ADVICE and hear Estelle wax poetic on the how's, when's, and where's for hooking up. Tip: Pressing option 2 gets you her insights on three-ways. Both hilarious and very, very disturbing at the same time.