She's coming over in a half hour and your place is a wreck from the poker game last night. You go to clean the stale beer coagulating with chip crumbs on the coffee table, and realize you're out of glass cleaner. Screwed? Not if you know what to grab from your kitchen.

Using only three main ingredients: water, baking soda and white vinegar, you can cook up some homemade cleaners that'll get your place back to date-shape before she shows up. And for a helluva lot less than the cleaners you buy in the store.

All Purpose Cleaning Solution:
1 cup Vinegar
1 cup Water
1 spray bottle

Pour vinegar and water into a spray bottle and shake. Use this for daily wipe-downs of the counter in your kitchen or bathroom, or for small spills on the stove-top. If you want to add some scent use one or two drops of lemon, orange or pine oil and shake the bottle before use. These oils are great for ...More

Forget about having trouble sleeping, you'll have trouble forcing yourself to get out of bed.

The Hollandia PLATINUM-LUXE™ Elite sleep system (when you pay more for a bed than most people spend on a car you get to call it a "sleep system"), looks like it was designed with input from Austin Powers. And I mean that in a good way. It's the ultimate swinging bachelor bed, baby.

Start with a mattress made from naturally ventilated, hypo-allergenic Vita Talalay latex covered in aloe vera fibers for extra softness. Add in individual 13-inch retractable back-sliding systems and telescopic head supports that silently adjust to the perfect reclining position at the push of a button. Push another button and the 32-inch flat-panel Sony HDTV slowly rises from the footboard, the brightness dynamically adjusting to the ambient light, to reduce eye strain.

It's also equipped with a Sony BRAVIA® Theater System with a five DVD/CD changer, a five speaker surround sound system, and a subwoofer beneath the bed so you feel every nuance of the audio. And of course there is an iPod docking station. Future models will connect the surround sound with a massage system that provides 12 individual massage programs, and the option of having the massage respond in sync with your music. ...More

A must for any Man Cave is some sort of gaming table: a poker table, ping pong table, pool table, foosball table. But if you're looking to relive your college days (or if you're still living your college days), a beer pong table is the perfect addition.

Instead of assigning your ping pong table double duty, and risking damage from flying and spilling liquids, check out OfficialBeerPongTable.com. They've got eight-foot long "regulation" tables tables designed specifically for pong tourneys, featuring a hard melamine top, re-rack alignment graphics for both six- and ten-cup games, and extendable legs for height adjustment. They also fold flat into a two-foot by two-foot square for storage, which is good because the graphics are a little, um, over the top.

$124.99
www.officialbeerpongtable.com

Sure you can be a traditionalist and say martinis were meant to be sipped only out of classic, clear, plain glasses. But I'd argue that you're a pretentious snob whose panties appear to be a bit too tight. Then I'd nickname you "Niles" and toss you out on your pompous ass.

Drinking, in case anyone forgot, is meant to be fun. And when you're looking to have some fun, invite Lolita over. Or her glassware anyway.

Lolita is the designer and artist behind the hand-painted glassware and bar-ware that's showing up on the bars of the hip and famous from NYC to LA. Inspired by cocktails - and the personalities of the people that drink them - her designs are bold, colorful and yeah, fun. Take her "Dirty Martini" collection for example (pictured), which features dirty words with strategically placed olives. ...More

No question vodka is meant to be served ice cold. I keep a bottle in the freezer at all times. Just in case she comes back to my place for a late night drink, or a party breaks out. (A guy's gotta be prepared.)

If you don't have a bottle chilled you can always add ice to the vodka, shake and serve, but what about adding vodka to the ice instead?

Ice Jacket is an ingenious new product that creates a thick layer of ice around your bottle - basically making it a drinkable ice sculpture - and keeping the contents chilled while the party rolls on. ...More

You need a task chair at your home computer, and a small table to use while you work would be great. You also want a rocker for gaming, and extra seats for when the guys come over. But space at your place is most likely at a premium. No where to keep extra chairs. And the garage is filled with that stuff you plan on eBaying someday. ...More

Raise your hand if you've ever come home drunk and tripped over a speaker wire. Or spent an entire weekend fishing wires through the walls so they won't be seen. As well designed as some home theater systems are, the wires are still a pain in the ass. Wireless speakers help, ...More

Every man's home is his castle. And we all know where the throne is.

Forget pimping your ride, the folks over at Roto-Rooter want to pimp your toilet. And it's about damn time. According to their research, the average person spends 11,862 hours in the bathroom, (Not counting the people who frequent Taco Bell. Including them would have blown the curve. Pardon the pun.), over a lifetime. For those of you bad at math, that's one year, four months and five days. On the toilet. (They need to contact the Preparation H people. I smell strategic partnership gold here.)

You can enter to win this one-of-a-kind contest, now through April 2, 2007. The lucky winner will be announced on April 25th, National Plumber's Day. (Kicked-off nationwide, as it is every year, with the celebratory plunging of the White House Presidential toilet.)

Want to know what you're crappy toilet is missing? (Again, pardon the pun. It's seriously just too easy.) This tricked out john is outfitted with every feature a modern king could want in a bathroom throne, and is fully loaded with the following "luxury enhancements": (Absolutely none of which I made up.)

-- Philips(TM) 20-inch flat panel LCD TV
-- Xbox(TM) 360 gaming system
-- Philips(TM) DVD player with Star Wars DVD
-- Gateway(R) EMachine(TM) laptop computer with fully articulated robot arm
-- iPod(TM) with stereo docking station equipped with toilet paper
dispenser
-- Roto-Rooter "emergency" button
-- Tivo(TM) digital video recorder (DVR)
-- Avanti(TM) refrigerator with beer tap, stocked with drinks and snacks
-- Magazine rack
-- Bike pedal exercise system
-- Electric cup warmer / cooler

I'm with ya on the LCD TV, the Xbox, even the DVD player. But come on... an electric cup warmer/cooler and REFRIGERATED BEER TAP??? Don't get me wrong. I enjoy a nice cold beer as much as the next guy, but I guess I'm pretty traditional. I like mine at a ball game, on the couch watching TV. Not while dropping the kids off at the pool. We're are talking serious drinking problem there. (I also have to wonder what a visiting chick has to think of a guy's mental state who has all this in his bathroom. I would bet she flees. Quickly.)

For those of you who just can't get enough gaming, net surfing, movie watching, or exercising, while you take care of nature's business, head over to Roto-Rooter.com and enter.

Good luck, and I've got the number to the Preparation H Emergency Hotline for you.

If you're over 30 hair is getting in your drain. It's a fact of life. For some more than others.

And getting it out of the drain is a pain in the ass like no other. Liquid drain cleaners work sometimes. On some clogs. But not always. What I usually do is stick a wire hanger down there and hope I can either force most of it down or pull most of it up. And I've pulled up some stuff that looks like something Jim Henson coughed up.

Here's something that falls in the damn-I-shoulda-thought-of-that category: a flexible, disposable drain snake with a velcro-tip, called the FlexiSnake.

You know from experience that Velcro will snag almost anything. Just shove this little snake down the drain and yank it back up. Clog fixed.

I like it better than dealing with chemicals. And it doesn't damage pipes like my wire hanger remedy.

$6.95 for a three-pack www.flexisnake.com

Giving someone a car this Christmas? Me either. But ever wonder where those giant bows come from?

You can get them for $48 from KingSizeBows.com. And, for those of us who aren't giving $30,000 gifts this year, you can use them to decorate the front door of your Pad instead.