The Thanksgiving holiday is all about spending time with family and friends and to give thanks for the bounty of blessings we have received during the past year. Which usually takes about 15-20 minutes.

The rest of the day is about enjoying the bountiful blessings of oversized men smashing into each other at high rates of speed. You see, Thanksgiving is really a celebration of football, and there’s no better way to celebrate than to mix it with America’s other favorite pastime, drinking.

So to add further excitement to your football-watching holiday, here is The Bachelor Guy’s Official Thanksgiving Day Football Drinking Game.

Necessary equipment:
1. Working television set.
2. Other people (playing drinking games alone is a bad sign)
3. Plenty of your favorite libations.

Rules:
During the games, everyone takes a drink whenever any of the following happens:

1. CBS and/or their announcers show off their incredibly lame Thanksgiving Game MVP trophy.

2. Any close-ups of celebrity "fans" that are in attendance at the game - who (as coincidence would have it) also happen to star in that network's shows.

3. If announcers plug any of the following shows right as a play is about to develop:
CSI (any version)
60 Minutes
Two and a Half Men
Survivor
House
The Simpsons
Family Guy
The Next Great American Band
American Idol

BONUS: Everyone takes a second drink if the other announcer makes some lame comment designed to make us think he actually watches the show.

4. Whenever there is a shot of a completely unappreciated behind-the-scenes crew member waiving to the camera while mouthing "Happy Thanksgiving" to his family at home celebrating without him, as the announcers say how much they appreciate him and his "efforts" - shout "Here's to you!' and drink in his honor of working during the holiday to put this game on so you don't have to spend the night talking to relatives. (Take a second drink if his kids are mentioned.)

5. Any time there is a gratuitously long close-up shot of the cheerleaders. (Actually do not drink for this, just ogle.)

6. If the animated FOX football-playing robot shown before and after commercial breaks is dressed as a turkey, pilgrim or Indian, take 5 drinks.
BONUS: FOX is running a contest to name this robot. The first guy in your group to actually attempt to come up with a name has to take 3 drinks. If the name he comes up with is something lame like "Robo-Back", hit him with the bottle. 7. Any shot of a female fan holding a sign with a heart symbol and the words "Tony" or "Romo".
BONUS: If she's hot, take 3 more drinks to drown your jealousy over all the incredible tail he gets.

8. If anybody in your group comments "That Tony Romo is good looking guy", take a drink. If it is a guy who makes this comment, drink is preceded by a long, uncomfortable pause. If the word "cute" is used in place of "good looking", drink until you throw up.

9. If an announcer makes a reference to Tony Romo and his celebrity hookups, drink.

10. If anyone makes a reference to NY Jets head coach Eric Mangini and his celebrity hookups, chug a whole bottle if this actually happens.

11. Someone watching with you asks, "Do the players get distracted by that yellow line on the field?", drink, then throw your empty glass at them.

12. If anyone in your group snickers at, or makes a stupid comment about, the BJ on the back of the back judge's uniform, make them chug.
Note: The guy who made the comment also has to make the next beer run.

13. An announcer uses the word differential, as in "the touchdown differential between these two teams is huge." It an unnecessarily big word to be used during a football game.

14. If there is a discussion about the Patriots going undefeated.
BONUS: Chug while jogging around the coffee table if the term "run the table" is used.

15. An announcer mentions that Terrell Owens is "really trying to be a better teammate".

16. Any comments on how tough the New York media is on any Jets player or member of the coaching staff.

17. If Phil Simms talks about his playing days with Bill Parcells, drink.

18. If Troy Aikman mentions any game he played on Thanksgiving, drink.

19. If a celebrity joins the announcers in the booth, take 3 drinks and hit the mute button. Unless the guest is Charles Barkley, then turn up the volume.

20. If the announcers incorrectly predict how a replay challenge will go, you lose a drink. If it's Phil Simms and he is "positive" about his prediction - and he's wrong, as usual - pour the bottle down the sink.

21. If announcers acknowledge the troops watching the games overseas, shout "USA" three times and do a shot.

22. If announcers discuss how Roger Goodell is cracking down on discipline, take a small sip. Quietly.

23. If there's any mention of dog-fighting/Pacman Jones/steroid suspensions/Ricky Williams, pour a drink on the floor for your homies who couldn't be here tonight.

24. Any shot of a player using smelling salts or oxygen, then it's beer bong time.

25. If Peyton Manning throws his hands up in frustration, yell "Oh, come on!" and take a drink.

26. Any time the camera finds Brett Favre's wife in the stands, or if the announcers mention her overcoming her illness and how Brett dealt with it, drink. If both happen at the same time, chug.

27. Any mention of Brett Favre's career game right after his father passed away.

28. Any play made by a guy with long dreadlocks, shout "Yeah, Mon!" and chug a Red Stripe.

29. If announcers comment that Marion Barber runs "hard" or "tough", do a shot of whiskey. If the term "smashmouth football" is uttered at any time, do two extra shots.

30. For every sideline/owner's box shot of Jerry Jones, take a drink.
BONUS: Do a spit take if it's a tight shot on his face.

31. Anytime Jon Kitna removes his helmet, yell "Put it back on!", chug whatever is left in your glass, and place the empty glass on your head.

32. If anyone dares mention of Detroit coach Joe Cullen going through the Wendy's drive-through buck-naked, everyone watching must drop their pants, and drink.

33. For every mention about how nice and likeable Tony Dungy is, drink a wine cooler.

34. For every reference to Peyton Manning being smart, take a drink.

35. For every reference to Joey Harrington not being smart, pour the drink down the front of your shirt.

36. If a coach signals time-out right before a field goal attempt, drink. Then a second later, drink the exact same amount again.
BONUS: If any announcer uses the phrase "icing the kicker", pull a bottle of vodka out of the freezer and do a shot.

37. If the referee forgets to turn on his microphone during a penalty call and/or forgets to turn it off after he makes the call, drink from an empty glass.

38. If a coach halfheartedly tosses the red challenge flag and it doesn't go more than five yards, everyone yells "Lame!" and chugs a malt beverage with their non-throwing hand.


Special "First Half Only" Rules -
These rules are only in effect for the first half of games, since if applied for entire game, it would lead to alcohol poisoning:

39. Every time an interception is thrown by Joey Harrington or Byron Leftwich (should he get in the game).

40. Airing of any Peyton Manning commercial.

41. Any airing of the "This is Our Country" Chevy Silverado commercials.

42. Terrell Owens mugs for the camera and/or shakes his head in disbelief, amusement, or a show of pure unadulterated self love.

43. Any reference to Brett Favre's age.

44. Any reference to Brett Favre playing like a kid again.


Winner:
Winner is determined by last guy able to stand after a full turkey dinner, 3 games and over nine hours of football.

[Check out Paul's weekly sports musings at Blame The Mascot]