This article was sent to me by several people. (Why they all thought of me when reading this, I have no idea.)

The article sites findings, not from some frat boys writing a paper for Archeology 101, but actual scientists and archeologists from Johns Hopkins University. It begins:

Today, it sounds like a spring-break splurge on the order of "Girls Gone Wild": Drink huge quantities of beer, get wasted, indulge in gratuitous sex and pass out — then wake up the next morning with the music blaring and your friends praying that everything will turn out all right.

But back in 1470 B.C., this was the agenda for one of ancient Egypt's most raucous rituals, the "festival of drunkenness," which celebrated nothing less than the salvation of humanity. Archaeologists say they have found evidence amid the ruins of a temple in Luxor that the annual rite featured sex, drugs and the ancient equivalent of rock 'n' roll.

Apparently thanks are in order. We have been saving humanity every weekend for years now.

I got word that a new hotel has opened in Las Vegas.

Management was quoted as saying:

"Being that we are nongaming, nonsmoking, and full-service, there is truly nothing else like our hotel in the city" says Vice President and General Manager Peter Rockwood.

Peter. My friend. There is a reason there is truly nothing else like your hotel in the city. Correct me if I'm wrong, but last time I went to Vegas it was the gambling and smoking capital of the world. I believe they even have slot machines in churches. And I'm pretty sure you can smoke in your doctor's office.

This is like opening a place in the Red Light District in Amsterdam and declaring, proudly, there will be no sex or drugs for sale.

Talk about a gamble.

Just a quick tip on not looking like an idiot. I was with a group of buddies this weekend and the subject turned to working on cars. I like cars. I know a lot about cars. I just don't know a lot about engines. Or working on them. So I kept quiet during that part of the conversation. Another guy, who I can assume knew even less about engine tuning than I did, decided to join the conversation, try to impress everyone, and fake his way through it. I guess he figured that was better than shutting up. He was wrong.

People know when you don't know what you are talking about. If you want to be involved in the conversation ask questions. People love to show off their knowledge, and you'll look like a guy who cares about what they have to say. Not some chuckle-head who insults everyone's intelligence.

I am getting down off my soap box now.

I've never been a huge fan of Halloween. It's not so much the fact that everything smells like pumpkins, but the dressing up part that annoys me. People at the office pressure you to show "company spirit" and dress up at work. You get invited to a costume party where the theme is dress as a famous movie villain. Or your favorite 18th century poet.

I'm just not one of those guys who can throw on a pair of tights and a silly hat and parade around in public. When you're a kid, it's adorable. When you're an adult, it can be, well, sad.

But recently I was given an assignment to do an article on why women love costume parties, and why you should take her.

What I learned is that women have much richer fantasies than guys do, and, because they are good girls, they don't act on them. Until Halloween. The one time a year it's socially acceptable to dress like anything their twisted little minds can think up. And do things they normally wouldn't do. I started to like Halloween more and more.

You will to, if you indulge her this one night. And get the right costume. Shirley of Hollywood has great couples costumes and they include everything you need, down to the last detail. She can be a pirate. A pimpette. Prison inmate. Naughty nurse. Let her imagination run wild.

And enjoy the treats.

Order now, in time for Halloween. www.shirleyofhollywood.com

There are road trips and then there are rides. Any motorcyclist will tell you: cars take to the interstate for road trips, bikers hit the back roads for rides.

To do it right you'll need a guide. Something that combines unparalleled road expertise with years of ride experience.

Done. Harley-Davidson® and Rand McNally have teamed up to produce the ultimate ride guide, the first-edition Harley-Davidson® Ride Atlas of North America.

The 284 pages are packed with 25 cyclist-tested rides, four-color touring maps, detailed descriptions, local cycle laws, milage directory, insider tips, and more. Open to any page and I guarantee you'll be itching to ditch the congestion and stress and head off the beaten path.

Spend the weekend cruising through the coves, hollows and water gaps of the Blue Ridge Parkway, crisscross the Rio Grande, or cruise down a scenic Arizona desert highway. Her arms wrapped tightly around you the whole time.

So unless you are an NFL quarterback, (listening Ben?), pack the saddlebags, grab a leather-clad lady, and ride.

$34.95 www.randmcnally.com

Vacation time is rolling around, and you're looking for something a little more manly than the spa resorts featured in the brochures crammed into your mailbox.

You've been chained to your desk for weeks. Your tie feels like a shackle around your neck. You don't care about massages and 400 thread count sheets. You need the outdoors. You need adventure. You want to climb something. Play golf on the rim of a volcano. Anything but sit in a $400-a-night hotel room, watching SpectraVison, and "relaxing".

So where does a guy go to release his inner Magellan? GoNOMAD.com.

Specializing in alternative, or "active", travel, GoNOMAD.com has thousands of informative articles written by both professional travel writers and regular Joes – not paid PR reps and ad copywriters – who share their experiences and expertise out of the sheer joy of travel.

No idea where to go? GoNOMAD.com has tools to help you plan the perfect guy trip. Select the region and the activity, and get back a list of matching trips, along with pricing, duration, and trip highlights.

If you need me I'll be caving in Mexico.

Free www.GoNOMAD.com