• Blades of Glory - Will Ferrell and Jon (Napoleon Dynamite) Heder. On ice skates. In spandex body suits. With Will Arnett and SNL's Amy Poehler. Hilarity ensues.
Date Index - 2 out of 5. Once she realizes this silly farce is not really about figure skating like you told her, you're in trouble. ...There's more

From Boing Boing: A restaurant in Japan has a goldfish tank in its deep fryer. With live (unless they try to escape) goldfish. I can only assume PETA does not have a chapter in Japan.

Because water and oil don't mix, ...There's more

Spring has hit. The thawing has begun. And golfers are anxious to get out and swing some clubs. Before heading to the links, throw a copy of the Zagat guide, America's Top Golf Courses 2007/08, in your bag.

Zagat interviewed over 6,250 avid golfers who played over 560,000 rounds of golf last year. (That averages to about 90 rounds each. These people played some golf.) Their opinions in the areas of Course, Facilities, Service, Value and Cost formed the rankings of the top 1,075 public, semi-private and resort courses in the US, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.

Surprisingly the number one course isn't in any of the golf meccas ...There's more

• The Pursuit of Happyness - Will Smith and real-life son play a real-life father and son in this inspirational drama of a man struggling to make his life better against incredible odds.
Chick Watchablity Rating (CWR) - 5 out of 5. She'll love the heavy drama, the bonding between father and son, and the tear-inducing scenes.

• Children of Men - It's 2027 and because no woman on Earth has been able to conceive for over 18 years mankind is on the verge of extinction.
CWR - 1. It's bleak. It's dark. It's sci-fi-ish. If Clive Owen wasn't the leading man she wouldn't watch at all.

• Turistas - Thick, Brazilian jungles. Attractive, barely-dressed 20something tourists. Murderous, revenge seeking locals. All add up to one really stupid and boring movie.
CWR - Doesn't matter. You won't want to watch either.

• Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj - College humor. Gratuitous sex and nudity. No possibility of plot. Is there a better way to spend a Saturday night?
CWR - 1. She might find some of it funny, but this was made for guys. And she'll hate it.

• The Shield: Complete Season 5 - Detective Vic Mackey is still the baddest cat in the urban jungle.
CWR - 2. But if she's into gritty, violent cop shows marry her.

• Happy Feet - Adorable animated penguins tap dance their way into your heart. (I'm joking. You'll only rent this under duress.)
CWR - Off the charts. But again, rent it only if you need to earn some points. Or lost a bet.

Think she's cheating? It's possible. A recent study showed 40% of women having extra-marital affairs. (I'd have something to say to you ladies, but 60% of men will have them too. Hence my decision to remain the Bachelor Guy.) And that stat doesn't include the percentage cheating on someone they are just dating. That number has to be higher. (Just a hunch, based on my own informal research at every bar or party I've ever been to.) So there's a strong chance if you think your girl is cheating on you, she is.

Want to know for sure? (If your answer is "no", I'm coming over there to slap some sense onto you.) FindOut Research has just published "Exposing Infidelity -- The Inside Secrets of How Spouses Cheat... and How to Catch Them". Based on extensive interviews with men and women who have been cheating on their spouses for a year or more, the book outlines the the warning signs of infidelity, how to identify the techniques unfaithful partners use to conceal their activities, and how to catch them in the act. (I know what you're thinking, but it is NOT to be used as a how-to manual.)

They also offer a companion software program called Evidence Finder, which can scan a computer running Windows for deleted emails, documents, pictures, and even video. (Hey honey, look what I found!) Get on it, Sherlock.

$24.95
www.findoutresearch.com

• Shooter - Marky Mark Wahlberg is back in action hero mode as Bobby Lee Swagger (seriously), an ex-military sniper caught up in a web of conspiracies and lies. Mayhem ensues.
Date Index - 4 out of 5. You'll love the action and climactic chase scenes, she'll love love watching Marky run around sans shirt.

• Reign Over Me - Adam Sandler tries once again to prove he's all grown up by choosing drama over comedy. If you've seen the previews you've seen the whole movie, but basically he plays a man who looks remarkably like a young Bob Dylan that lost his wife and children in 9/11, and then his mind. Not exactly a feel-good way to spend two hours.
Date Index - 2 out of 5. This one is tricky. It's a tear-jerker, so she'll be crying and looking to you for support... and to see your reaction. If you're crying she might think you're either a sensitive soul, or a complete weenie. Too tough to call.

• Pride - 1970's inner-city youths and their coach learn pride and earn redemption through competitive swimming. Yes. Swimming. (I thought the same thing, but it's based on a true story, so...) It's the same underdog formula you've seen a hundred times before. Terrence Howard as the swim coach is excellent, but he's no Denzel, and this is no Remember the Titans.
Date Index - 3 out of 5. It is about sports (kind of), and has Bernie Mac in it, so you'll be able sit through it for the most part. She gets to see young, ripped, inner-city teens in Speedos.

If you've watched ESPN at all this past week, you know that this weekend marks the introduction of NASCAR's "Car of the Future". Over seven years in development, the new design is boxier, taller, and has improved safety features. (I thought fans only watched for the crashes.) ...There's more

Before there was the Man Show Kid, there was Larry "Bud" Melman. For over 20 years David Letterman sent the sour-faced Larry "Bud" out into the streets of New York to interact with an often bewildered public. He became a late night icon. ...There's more

• Rocky Balboa - AARP-card-carrying Balboa steps into the ring for the final time. Again.

Chick Watchablity Rating (CWR) - 2 out of 5. (Pure testosterone. Or, in Stallone's case, pure HGH. Invite her only if she likes boxing. And shirtless 60-year-old men.)


• Blood Diamond - Leo's looking for a priceless diamond and he'll stop at nothing to get it. And, just like in The Departed, Leo's actually watchable. He might finally shed his teen heartthrob rep. And I can't believe I'm saying that.

CWR - 5 (Leo's looking sweaty and scruffy. And it's about diamonds. She'll love it.)


• Eragon - Unless you're 12, who cares?

CWR - 0 (Unless it's your daughter and she's 12, then 4.)


• Cheers: The Complete Eighth Season - Sure the series was sliding downhill. And even hearing "NORM!" was starting to get old. But it's still a classic.

CWR - 4 (Before-she-was-huge-I-mean-really-huge Kirstie Alley holds her own against the drunken regulars with enough smart aleck comebacks to keep your girl laughing.)


• JAG: The Complete Third Season - Catherine Bell. In uniform. Enough said.

CWR: 3 - (Naval officers in uniform should hold her attention for a while.)

Leave it to the casinos to find a way to help you lose more money, more easily. Say hello to the Arriva Card, the first credit card designed specifically for use in casinos.

75 casinos across the US, including The Borgata, Trump and Hard Rock Las Vegas, are also part of the Instant Credit program that allows you, a "responsible gaming patron", to apply for up to up to $10,000 in immediate credit. (That doesn't sound dangerous at all.)

Accepted at over 800 casinos in the US and Caribbean, Arriva does offer better terms on cash advances than traditional credit cards. They offer a grace period, give reward points, and charge lower fees and interest rates than many other cards. Just don't get too carried away, Diamond Jim.

www.arrivacard.com

For seven years Jack Tripper tried unsuccessfully to get in the pants of his roommates, Janet and Chrissy, while hilarity ensued.

This Saturday, TV Land celebrates the 30th anniversary of the comedy classic Three's Company with a 24-hour marathon starting at 8pm Eastern time, and running through 8pm Sunday. (I know that's St. Patrick's Day and you'll be at a pub somewhere, but that's why God invented Tivo.)

The marathon picks favorite episodes from the series' 1977-1984 run, starting with two half hour-long "best of" shows. Shown in no particular order, the marathon includes two of the three test pilots that were shot (a rarity in the sitcom world), and a couple of episodes from the little watched spin-off Three's a Crowd, (where Jack finally gets a girlfriend and all the sexual tension is released. Nice work network execs).

I say watch the early shows, before the smoking-hot, pre-thighmaster, Suzanne Sommers was replaced by boring ex-Rams cheerleader Jenilee Harrison and Norman Fell's brilliantly homophobic Mr. Roper gave way to Don Knotts' aging Barney Fife-ish Mr. Furley. (Side note: am I the only one who thinks Janet would have been a wildcat in bed?)

Some quick Three's Company trivia from Wikipedia.org:
• It is a remake of the British sitcom Man About the House.
• Jack, Janet and Chrissy lived in apartment 201, directly above the landlord unit.
• Barry Williams, AKA Greg Brady, made an appearance as Janet's boyfriend.
• Fifteen years after its original airing, after being notified by a viewer, American Nickelodeon network quickly edited an episode where John Ritter's scrotum was briefly visible through the bottom of a pair of blue boxer shorts.

For a schedule of episodes click here.

Use a paintball gun, go to war. It's the law.

Newsweek is reporting that army recruiters are trolling paintball tournaments looking for new soldiers. At a recent event in Coram, NY an army recruiter stocked a tent with "Army of One" key chains, coffee mugs, footballs, baseball caps, T shirts and customized dog tags.

With over 300 participants decked out in camo and combat boots, it was only a matter of time before the booth was overrun with teenage guys handing over their names and email addresses in exchange for the goods. The recruiter's comment was, "This is our target audience." No pun intended. (I'm guessing next they'll hit the video game arcades looking for recruits of the future.)

So if you're planning on competing in a paintball event - and according to Newsweek's article a surprising 10.4 million of you are, more than play baseball, surf or snowboard - watch your flank. You could be getting scouted for the real thing.