There's a new e-card company out on the Internets, and they're shaking things up by offering video cards. Video cards guys won't be embarrassed to send.

Rattlebox , promising "e-cards that don't suck", offers a broad selection of short videos with customizable messages that you can send for any occasion. Sure there's the usually cutesy one here and there, but the majority definitely have a certain attitude. So you can say it without sap.

For the holidays, their choices run from cute vintage cartoons to "Here's your F'ing Christmas card" to strippers dressed as elves giving lap dances. Or choose "Santa's Tips" (pictured) where Santa shows the proper way to "water" a Christmas tree. There's a little something for everyone. (And the more adult ones come with a warning, and an option to either view the card or close it.)

You can also post the videos on blogs, MySpace or Facebook, or send them via email or IM.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to send out a few "Santa Likes Bad Girls" cards.

www.rattlebox.com

Lynn Spears, mother of the serial-marrying, head-shaving, umbrella-wielding, drunken-driving, baby-endagering Britney, and freshly knocked-up jailbait Jaime Lynn, has a book deal to write a guide book on parenting. On. Parenting. (I'll let that sink in for a minute.)

Thankfully, someone at the publishing house regained consciousness long enough to Google Mrs. Spears' children and decided maybe her parenting advice shouldn't be unleashed upon an unsuspecting public. And postponed the book "indefinitely".

Since book publishers seem to equate "famous" with "expert", here is a list of some other misguided celebrity expert guides we'd like to see:

Coming Back Stronger: How I Used Holistic Healing to Speed My Post-Surgery Recovery, by Andy Petitte

Silence is Golden, by Rosie O’Donnell

101 Cold Remedies, by Jim Henson

Success and the Humble Executive, by Donald Trump

Instruments Are Optional: The Art of Night Flying, by John F. Kennedy, Jr.

How to Satisfy Your Woman Every Time, by Clay Aiken ...There's more

Fanscape is holding a New Music Sweepstakes, and you can enter to win a 27" Samsung HDTV along with a collection of new music from Blake Lewis, Maroon 5, Lupe Fiasco, OneRepublic, and Mat Kearney.

The contest runs now through January 16, 2008, and all you have to do to enter is click here.

One winner will be drawn at random on the 16th and will take home the HDTV and five new CDs: Blake (American Idol runner-up) Lewis' Audio Day Dream, Maroon 5's It Won’t Be Soon Before Long, Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool, OneRepublic's Dreaming Out Loud, and Mat Kearney's Nothing Left to Lose.

Click here to enter.

There's hope for the rest of us who aren't well over 6-feet tall, ripped, and ridiculously good looking.

A modeling agency in London, with an office opening here in the US, has become successful by specializing in "ugly" models. The Ugly Modeling Agency represents the truly weird, strange, and flat out awful looking (read: most of us), proving you don't have to be Brad Pitt to get paid for your looks. And judging from the video, the worse you look, the better.

Grab the latest piece of pie. Beta House, the latest (direct to DVD) installment of the American Pie juggernaut, hits stores Dec 26th, featuring "the most hilarious and outrageous freshman year in collegiate history". (Translation: expect lots of boobs and penis jokes. And plenty of farm animals.)

In honor of this auspicious occasion, I'm going to give away five copies of the unrated DVD to five lucky readers. And because I'm in a giving mood for the holidays, I'm also giving away one Sony PSP, so you can watch the movie on the road.

The DVD has extras that include: ...There's more