If you are going to be in NYC this holiday season, the folks at Charmin - makers of fine toilet paper products, and whose ads feature bears way too happy to be shitting in the woods - want you to "rest" comfortably while you shop. So, as a gift to stressed New Yorkers and tourists, they have placed 20 free, deluxe, fully-staffed restrooms in and around the Times Square area.

Noble gesture. I grew up in NY and have done more than my share of shopping accompanied by females. And I can tell you, it's bad enough getting dragged all over Manhattan looking for gifts, but nothing can ruin your day more completely than a woman who has to pee so badly her eyeballs are floating, and you become the target of her rage because it's your fault she can't find a toilet seat suitably clean enough for her to sit on.

To solve that problem, Charmin says their attendants will "service each stall after every use." How'd you like that holiday job? Cleaning toilets after thousands of stressed out New Yorkers. Gotta be hazard pay included. (And am I the only person who thinks there's going to be a literal bum-rush of homeless people clamoring to use these facilities?)

Dubbed the "plushest flushes in town", the restrooms were opened with a ceremonial first flush (honestly, this really happened) by none-other than Doris Roberts. She played Ray's mom on "Everybody Loves Raymond." Geez. One minute you're the Emmy-winning star of the top-rated show on TV, the next you're the Grand Marshal of a port-a-potty opening. That's show biz.

The restrooms are open to the public daily from 8am - 11pm, and will close at 6pm Christmas Eve, and all day Christmas. So you late shoppers will have to find alternate locations to relieve yourselves.