You're probably seeing a lot of articles, a lot of lists, and a lot of ads telling you what to get dad for Father's Day. Power tools. Motorized tie racks. That thing that heats up shaving cream. Choosing what to get dad isn't all that difficult. It's what NOT to get him that some of you need the most help with.

The following are just a few of the worst possible gifts you could give dad this year. Some may look familiar -- they are items that have been sent to me for serious editorial consideration before, and I had to showcase them again to make an example of them. Others you probably haven't seen before. But that doesn't make them any less awful. Unless of course, you're looking for a great gag gift.


Slim Jim Wrapper Belt.
Dad's weekend wear may lean toward the loud side. He may like to wear branded apparel with the logo of his favorite product, sports team, or NASCAR driver. He might even enjoy a little beef jerky every now and then. But get him this bright red and yellow belt made from old Slim Jim wrappers and chances are good he'll try to strangle you with it.
Better Options-
NASCAR
www.spicytimes.com
Harley Davidson
If you thought dad needed a belt:
www.greenfriendlygolf.com
www.jransomla.com




Gentlemen's Willy Care Kit.
Comes complete with trimming scissors, fluffing brush, sprucing mirror, willy bracelet for evening wear and one really uncomfortable conversation.
(Courtesy of inventorspot.com.)
Better Options-
For shaving and grooming kits:
www.getamenity.com
getjackblack.com
www.ebags.com




Bare With a Flair Men's Wax.
There's a salon in NYC that will lie dad down on a table, give him a trim around Little Dad, then (and I am not making this up) wax him bare or into a Brazilian. Once the screaming and swearing stop they'll apply a lovely Swarovski "Sizzling Fireburst" crystal tattoo to his newly smooth nether-region. (I'll give you a moment to let that image sear itself onto your brain.)
Better Options-
Send dad for a haircut, shave, massage, and if he's game, a manicure, at a place that caters to men:
Roosters
Red Door Spa's Men's Club




Xubaz Scarf.
It's a scarf. With four pockets to hold things like his wallet and cell phone. And straps that clip to his belt loops to keep it from blowing away. Like tiny scarf suspenders. That don't look at all ridiculous. While he wraps it over his face in a feeble attempt to hide his humiliation. (Yes, I know I gave this a decent review last year, but I was young and impressionable.)
Better Options-
If dad needs something to hold his stuff try:
Pacific Design
www.ebags.com
www.timbuk2.com




Man Purse. Or "Murse".
Like I've said before - and I am quoting myself here - "Putting the word "Man" in front of it and making it out of black leather doesn't change the fact that it is still, at the very heart, a purse. And I'm not carrying one. Ever. Not even if they made an NFL signature version endorsed by Brian Urlacher." And neither is dad.
Better Options-
See the links above.



Fur Cushioned Nylon Panties for Men.
Yes, I know dad has a tendency to scratch himself. And I know the description on their website says the crotch is lined with "the softest furry fabric." And they feel "like Fluffy Yummy Marshmallow Clouds." (I could not possibly have made that up.) But seriously. These are ridiculous. Incredibly comfortable looking. But ridiculous.
(Courtesy of inventorspot.com.)
Better Options-
If you insist on getting dad boxers:
www.joeboxer.com
www.uglies.com
www.target.com
www.brooksbrothers.com

(Feel free to comment with any other truly awful gifts you might have seen. Or received.)