Cleaning sucks. And since you can't even hire nude maids anymore without getting ripped off, you've gotta do it yourself.

Because cleaning is low on my list of stuff I want to spend a lot of time on (it's right below Take Girlfriend Shopping for Jeans), I asked the guys over at PartSelect.com for some shortcuts. Turns out a lot of stuff you usually clean by hand, can be tossed in the dishwasher. (Although they do sell replacement parts for damaged appliances, so this could all be a ploy, but I'm sure it's legit.)

Hubcaps and Wheel Covers
Don't spend hours scrubbing off the road grime and brake dust. Run them on the pots and pans cycle for a deep cleaning.

Baseball Hats
A little dirt adds character, but when you can't see the team logo anymore, time for some cleaning. Place the hat on the top rack to help retain its shape. (Several companies also sell ...More

There are a few signs - working late more often, more and more "girl's nights out" when you want to get together, strange text messages from new "friends" - that can trigger paranoia that your girl is engaging in a little extra-curricular activity behind your back.

So how do you find out for sure? You can't ask her friends. They'd sooner broadcast their actual weight, than what you're girl's been up to. You'll have to do a little recon work of your own, so here are a few tools you can use to find out what she's been up to.

[Note: Is it ethical to spy on your girl? That's a gray area. If she is cheating, then you can justify invading her privacy. If she's not, you'll have to live with being a jealous loser forever. And make sure to check local laws too. Some forms of "information gathering" may be illegal. Living as a jealous loser may be tough. Living as a jealous loser who's locked up is tougher.] ...More

It has been 19 years since we last saw Indiana Jones save the world from evil Nazis, marauding desert dwellers and general Armageddon. Dr. Jones may be an archeology professor, but he has taught us more than just artifacts. He's taught us valuable life lessons.


1 - If you throw a whip over any type of overhang, it will stick on the first shot and hold your body weight.

2 - Nazis are bad.

3 - Germans are really up on their biblical history.

4 - Egyptians are surprisingly good sidekicks... and a lot more helpful than little Asian kids.

5 - Always have a monkey around to eat the fruit before you do.

6 - Revolvers always beat swords.

7 - Airplane propellers beat revolvers.

8 - A solid gold statue weighs as much as two handfuls of sand.

9 - If you are at a party and someone says "Hey, let’s open up the Ark of the Covenant ...More

Stage a backyard brawl. Pay for it with the PPV receipts. [Gear Crave]

Yet he wonders why he's single. [Afro Jacks]

Sure he's old. But he still gets more tail than us. [Double Viking]

Most annoying people in Starbucks. [HolyTaco]

Douchebag of the week [Tasty Booze]

Your newest American Gladiator: Fainty [Break]

He should have gotten life for this. [Complex]

Game consoles contain hazardous chemicals. [Yahoo]

An illustrated history of the bikini. [The Guy Report]

Top 42 Functional Shoes - Footwear Beyond Fashion [TrendHunter]

When you need to take out a second mortgage just for a week's worth of food and to gas up your car, there's little left over for discretionary spending. Like buying lingerie for your girl. (Because keeping her happy keeps you happy.) So I spoke with NY model Isobella Jade to find out where guys can find gifts on the cheap - without pissing off their girls - so you can still get your groove on at home, when you can't afford to go out.

She came up with a list of lingerie you can find for under $10 - that your girl won't want to use to dust the furniture. Valuable info? In this economy, maybe. Cheap way to get a model to send in a pic of herself wearing a pair of thongs she got for under $10? Absolutely.

Here's what Isobella suggests:

Go to H&M.
"It's the hottest place to shop right now. The selection is huge and most panties run only about $4.50. It is hard to believe since the style and designs are so sexy and can involve lace, beads, and I've even bought an exotic leathery pair of panties with a matching bra here. (I'll give you a second to let your imagination run with that.) You can ...More

What makes a Timeless Gentleman? According to the oft-inebriated duo over at The Foggy Monacle it's the ability to drink like a college student on the last night of Spring Break and still make a contribution to society.

So, as a guide to men striving for greatness in the face of a slowly deteriorating liver, they have compiled their list of "men who have defied 'conventional wisdom', living life on their own terms, with booze on their breath and good times always on the horizon."

Included in this wide and varied list are Colt 45 pitchman Billy Dee Williams, bulbous-nosed statesman Winston Churchill, drunken Little League coach Morris Buttermaker, top hat sporting legume pusher Mr. Peanut, and sometime thespian and all-time lover of distilled spirits Peter O'Toole.

Makes you wonder what they were drinking when they made their choices. To read the entire list, click here.

London Times correspondent Tad Safran is like most guys - he's spent the majority of his adult life trying to figure out what makes women tick. But when he started spending time with his two-year-old niece, Lou-Lou, he had a revelation. He realized she possessed "the undiluted, unaffected essence – the 'id' – of womanhood." And learned more about dealing with women from her in two months, than he'd gathered from two decades of dating.

The first thing he learned is to ignore them. Safran writes: "If I come into a room and bounce up to Lou-Lou like a clown, trying to amuse and entertain, she blanks me completely. It’s as if I don’t exist. If I walk straight past her, however, I guarantee she will call out my name and want to play with me." Sound like every pick-up guru's advice? Apparently it starts early.

The rest of the list runs from Bribe Them (with two-year-olds it's stuffed animals, with grown women it's jewelry), to Don't Tell Them What to Do, to Don't Argue (you can't win an argument with a two-year-old girl any more than you can win one with a 32-year-old girl), to Don't Make Them Cry.

To read the complete list of ten, click here.

It definitely ain't easy being green. And someone is going to have to break the news to Al Gore that the real inconvenient truth is the only way the planet is getting saved is if the alternatives are not inconvenient.

While a very small minority of you (11%), said you'll do whatever it takes to keep Mother Nature alive and well, 62% said that you'd be happy to help, - as long as it didn't take too much effort. Or extra cash. In that case the bitch is on her own. And over a quarter of you (27%), said the sky and the trees and the birds and the animals and the people can kiss your gas-guzzling, energy-sapping, landfill-filling ass. Somewhere, an old Indian is shedding a tear.

For this week's poll, I want to know who gets more attention from you on their Hallmark holiday: mom on Mother's Day or dad on Father's Day.

Just when you thought we couldn't think up any more creative and ridiculous ways to kill ourselves in the pursuit of fame, fortune and easily impressed women, come a few more actual inventions by actual guys, that were granted actual patents. These were discovered by Scott Seegert, after the publication of his book, It's a Guy Thing, and they prove, once again, there's no limit to the male imagination.






Nicholas's Portable Rotisserie Tanner (1954)
Every wonder what’s it like to be a chicken? Me either. But apparently Nicholas did as he looked at the birds roasting at his local butcher shop, turning all golden brown as they cooked, and thought, "Look at how tan those guys are getting!" So he cooked up this great idea: strap yourself into giant roaster, be turned slowly around until golden brown on all sides (except for those white horizontal lines where the bars are), then get out and enjoy a Lucky Strike with your fellow future melanoma patients. This thing would work better fulfilling Frank Perdue’s sexual fantasies than it would as a tanning device.

...More