Iron Man? Cap? Thor? How to Tell Which of The Avengers You Are
05/06/2010


So in your core group of good friends who are you? Are you the leader, the muscle, the brains, the comedian, or the dude that gets all the jokes pointed in your direction? For each different circle of friends you probably play a different role. In one group, you may be the leader, and in another you get shitted on because you are wearing a Boston Red Sox sweatshirt. (And rightfully so...)

With Iron Man 2 coming out soon, and me being a comic geek, I wanted to give you a Marvel-ous take on the roles we play in our groups of friends. So I am going to dissect some of The Avengers into roles found in every circle of friends.

The Avengers have had many members, but I am going to break it down using the following Avengers: Captain America, Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, and Ant Man. (YES Ant Man... One of the founding members of the Avengers so he is in there.) And no, I am not gonna add The Wasp, because having a female in your close circle of friend is purely fiction and this is a serious article.

So which one are you? Let’s break it down:

Captain America


Are you the leader? The guy who runs the operation? Who gets the regular phone calls asking what you are doing for the night? You the one who has to stop the other guys from harassing the one guy who gets picked on left and right? If everything goes through you, then it looks like you're Cap. Though there are many perks on being the lead guy, you might get fed up with the fact everyone turns to you for everything. I suggest going away for a little while and chill by yourself. It worked for Cap.

Iron Man


So are you the dude that has all the latest toys, gadgets, fast cars, and faster women? Maybe sip a little too much of the sauce, and are a tad bit narcissistic? Then you might be following the suit of Tony Stark aka Iron Man. The plus side here is that you got all the sweet gear and great one liners. You push a lotta buttons, and you don’t care who you piss off.

The Hulk


If you don’t see a connection yet, well let’s look at the Hulk. This chap is at most times the brains of the operation... soft spoken, and will always try to be mild mannered. In theory he is a great guy to have as a friend. Here is the part that can get sketchy. Now I am not saying you are going to turn into a huge green guy sporting some sweet purple shorts, but you could be that guy and not know it. But let's say you are at a bar with your friends and tipping back some beers. The more you drink the more you get the urge to start a fight. You get some beer muscles and think you can take on the world. For the most part your friends like you. For the most part. But not now. So watch the temper, beers, and radioactivity.

Thor


Now the next dude is the gym rat. He also has a god complex, and feels that he is god's gift to women, and that men aspire to be him. Not sure what he brings to the crew, but if the "Hulk" starts getting the group in trouble, well this dude can be your front line defense. Because when push come s to shove, he can lay the hammer down.

Ant Man


Finally for the last guy in your group, he brings the some of the smarts to the group as well as the Hulk, but is not as intimidating. If you get this guy angry, it will be more comical then scary. And because of this he gets crapped on by everyone else in the group. So if you can see yourself as the Ant Man in your group you may want to get new friends. Since in the natural hierarchy of friends, you will be the butt of all the jokes, some in good fun and some that get really old for you. Try and be a Captain America for another band of friends... or worse case scenario just start going to the gym, fall in love with yourself, and be Thor.

Art "Comedy Judas" Scorsese III, one of the hosts of the semi-popular podcast, Masters of None, hails from the small Canadian town of New Hampshire. When not driving over the US border to get fries & gravy, he watches the Star Wars trilogy while listening to rap music.


Comments

Ukulelemike wrote:

As for Antman, something to remeber-he makes up for his small size by beating up those smaller-in his case, women. Henry Pym was an abusive husband in the comics. Tells you another reason not to be Antman.
05/07/2010 10:00 PM

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