Let me state right up front that I am not a fan of the Oscars. Watching a bunch of grossly overpaid celebs half-heartedly try to feign sincerity was funny for a while. Now it's like wearing wet wool - annoying and irritating, and you can't wait to get it off.

You know what I'm talking about. The rarely-funny jokes the host is forced to tell. The cringe-inducing attempts to be hip and edgy. The fake tears of the winner, the fake smiles of the losers. It's enough to drive you to drink.

Which is exactly what I'm going to do. I got sent a bunch of cocktail recipes that were created by Pernod Ricard USA's Spirits Desk to honor the Best Picture Nominees. I'm up for any new drink recipes, but movie themed drinks? Too far even for me.

Then I thought, hmmm, maybe these might make the award ceremony more enjoyable. So I decided to toss around some ideas for an Academy Award drinking game. Like doing a shot when a male celeb is shown wearing a "unique" tuxedo. Or drinking whenever a female winner puts her hand over her heart and pretends to be sooooo incredibly shocked, and utters something along the lines of "I never expected this. Honestly. Truly." (Take an extra drink if she then proceeds to pull out a prepared speech.)

Drink from the moment the presenter says "And the winner is..." and keep drinking until they say the winner's name.

Drink if the camera cuts to the loser and they are looking upset, then snap on a smile when they realize the camera is on. Or drink when any of the host's jokes fall flat, or better yet, evoke an audible groan. (Which should have you drunk enough to sit through three hours of this stuff.)

And, when Martin Scorsese FINALLY wins a much deserved Best Director Oscar, down your entire drink.

Make up some of your own, and post them here in the comments section. Three of the drink recipes are below, based on my three personal favorite nominated movies. And the winner is...

"The Departini"
(Created in honor of The Departed)
2 parts Tequila Tezon Reposado
1 part Martell Cognac
1 part Cointreau
1 tbsp agave nectar
Squeeze of lime juice
Shake well and serve up in a martini glass. Garnish with a lemon wedge.
*Recipe by: Tequila Tezon

"Sunshine in Malibu"
(Created in honor of Little Miss Sunshine)
1 part Malibu Mango Rum
1 part Malibu Pineapple Rum
Fill with orange juice
Combine ingredients in a highball glass over ice.
*Recipe by: Malibu Rum

"Lychee Letters"
(Created in honor of Letters From Iwo Jima)
.5 part SOHO Lychee Liqueur
2 parts Martell Cognac VSOP
1 part pomegranate juice
1 part orange juice
Spoonful of sugar
Serve over ice in a rocks glass.
*Recipe by: SOHO Lychee Liqueur