It's gotta be a result of the slumping economy and the onset of the holiday shopping season, but it seems like telemarketers are working overtime lately to get us to buy crap we don't want.

They're annoying, pushy, and I gotta believe even their mothers don't love them. So instead of hanging up, which only makes these parasites call back, try giving them a little hell so they'll think twice before dialing your number again. And have a little fun in the process.

And who better to give advice on pissing off these phone bombers than the guy who made crank calling an art form, Crank Yankers' own Jim Florentine.

I spoke with Florentine to find out how he handles those idiots unfortunate enough to dial his number. Like he says, if they're going to annoy you, you might as well annoy them back. So here's what he does:

1. Tell them that whatever volume they are speaking at is either too loud or not loud enough. When you tell them you can't hear them and they start yelling in to the phone, then tell them that they are too loud now. Then too low the next time they speak.

2. Write everything down that they say. Tell them you have a bad memory and want to remember everything they said. Start with their name and go from there. Try to keep them on as long as possible. That should cost them some income.

3. Tell them whatever they are selling is the best thing ever and you can't wait to buy it. Get them really excited and then when they ask for your credit card number, tell them you have no money but you would like to have it for free.

4. If you get a woman telemarketer pretend you are on the bowl taking a shit as she goes through her pitch.

5. Tell them you will be right back and put the phone down and never come back.

If you want more, you can hear Jim driving telemarketers crazy on his four CDs, Terrorizing Telemarketers I, II, III and IV, which are available on his site www.jimflorentine.com.