Once again we're here to plead for a return to the manliness of yesteryear.
And after seeing that Brüno
was the number one movie in America last week, we need it now more than ever.
Last week we lobbied for the return of duels to settle disputes. (Read
This week? Lets bring back the Liquid Lunch
Important client meeting for lunch. Seal this deal and that prick Bob in Sales can eat shit cause you're the new king of the office... well on your way to mid-6 figures, a new Bimmer, boat, and ever present "exotic dancers".
How Guys Deal With it Now:
Schmooze the client. Impress him by remembering his snot-nosed kid plays T-Ball. Listen to endless stories about his snot-nosed kid playing T-ball. Expound on all the ways you can make his life easier. Sip on unsweetened ice-tea while you eat your arugula salad.
How Guys Dealt With it Then:
Open with a long discussion about the rack on the new skirt behind the reception desk. Steaks, scotch, cigars. Impress him by explaining why his son is a no good beatnik pussy. More scotch.
Follow up a few dozen times and jump through all the hoops. Client takes his business elsewhere because they can get better price points. Its just business ya know.
Shake hands over a table full of empty glasses because you have a deal, sir. Now, more importantly: Do you have time for a quick stop at the titty bar before you head back to the office?
Case in Point:
Don Draper from Mad Men or any other pop culture depiction of the 50's. Ask any honest older coworker at a happy hour, or your grandfather, about how things "used to be done". Or just take a look at the successful "Good Ole Boy" networks that thrive in politics, universities and athletic leagues.
Business is meant to be hashed out over a few cigars and some good whiskey. A true business relationship should thrive on mutual respect and openness, not be confined to stuffy conference rooms and boring salad-filled lunches.
Now get off your ass, take a swig of that scotch in your desk drawer and get that damn deal done.