The NFL is a wild league where the intensity often creates unforgettable moments. From The Music City Miracle to David Tyree's Helmet Catch to Kevin Dyson getting tackled just one yard from a superbowl winning touchdown to the freaking Arizona Cardinals almost hoisting the Lombardi trophy.
The unpredictability isn't confined solely to the gridiron. Michael Vick decided he wasn't happy with being a millionaire, all-star NFL QB. He also had to be the Don King of doggie rumbling. Donte Stallworth got high and killed a man. Plaxico Burress didn't feel safe enough as a celebrity behind the velvet ropes in NYC so he brought a burner along and ended up with a hole in his thigh and the opportunity to feel safe behind the iron bars of a NY jail. Keep in mind, those are just examples from last season. Roger Goodell probably averted the apocalypse by getting rid of PacMan "make it rain bullets" Jones.
We know now to expect anything from an NFL season. With that in mind I'm going to make like Nostradamus on salvea and offer five crazy predictions for the 2010 season:
1. Jim Schwartz throws in the towel, decides to try and make Calvin Johnson have the greatest fantasy day ever.
C'mon the team just finished 0-16 and this season's outlook is bleak. Schwartz is going to get fed up at 0-9 and decide to have some fun and see just how many fantasy points Megatron can rack up in one game with 50 targets.
2. A punt hits Dallas Cowboys new Texas sized video screen and knocks it down onto the field.
Holy shit that would be awesome. Here's to it happening in the playoffs against the Vikings and everyone getting out of the way except Favre.
3. NFL secretly holds visiting team out of Week 17 Oakland game. Lets Raiders and fans go to game. Implodes stadium.
One fell swoop and the league rids itself of Al Davis, that embarrassment of a team, and the ridiculous collection of grown men wearing Legion of Doom shoulder pads. Good riddance? Good riddance indeed.
4. Peyton and Eli Manning exposed as laboratory creations.
Nothing to see here, just two unathletic, mind numbingly wholesome, superbowl champions both spawned from a former NFL Quarterback. Bullshit, those two were created in a lab by some football obsessed mad scientist. There is even the loser oldest brother who is clearly version 1.0 - the failed version.
5. Roger Goodell caught in Montana hunting the deadliest game of all. Man.
The NFL's dean of discipline has to unwind somehow right?