Iíve been watching ESPN for 22 minutes now and I havenít seen anything yet about Brett Favre.
I want... no I NEED... to know everything about a broken-down, 40-year-old quarterback who was running on empty last season. I know that you have devoted approximately 1,236 hours of coverage to Brett Favre over the last year, but thatís not nearly enough.
I need to know every aspect of his thought process as he decides whether or not to ruin another franchise this season.
Did Favre go to the eye doctor? I want Rachel Nichols on my TV, stat! Was that Brad Childress making a long-distance call? Send Ed Werder to dig through the trash at the Vikings facility right now...
I want an NFL Live
2-hour special dedicated to examining Favreís X-rays. Call in all the troops Ė I am dying to know what Herm Edwards thinks of Favreís biceps tendon.
Look, you may be sick of Favre taking over the NFL offseason every year with his wishy-washiness, but Iím not. The guyís a gamer! Just ask John Madden. He "loves playing the game." (But only for the teams he wants.)
Don't forget he wears Wranglers. Thatís a manís man if you ask me.
Who cares that he had 2 TDs and 9 INTs in the Jetsí final five games last season, and looked like Mets-era Willie Mays? Heís got a rocket arm!
And Iím perfectly willing to overlook that his teammates couldnít stand him Ė theyíre just jealous of The Greatest QB Ever.
So, ESPN, why havenít you set up the 24-hour live remote feed from Favreís compound yet? With Erin Andrews (but Iíll settle for Brienne Pedigo), so I can keep track of Favreís eating and sleeping patterns.
Weíre lost without our daily dosage of the Favre saga, ESPN. Please donít continue to be lax in your coverage Ė weíre counting on you.