MSN just ran a story about a lawn care company in Tennessee that uses girls in bikinis to do yard work. The owner charges a "premium" for the service, and apparently business is booming. So I started thinking: what other businesses and services could benefit from a little blatant sexual exploitation?
Dentist - Everyone dreads going to this drill-happy sadist, but every guy on the planet would look like Matt Dillon in "Something About Mary" if the work was done by G-string wearing (insert butt-floss joke here) dental assistants instead. My tooth enamel would be worn down to the nub from the monthly cleanings I'd be getting.
Flight Attendant - Airlines in bankruptcy? Pilots on strike? Never again. If there were hot flight attendants in bikinis roaming the aisles I'd commute to work through Cincinnati every day.
Plumber - When have you ever heard a guy say, "Thank God, I have to call the plumber"? Exactly. But if it was Madame Suzette's Thong and Wrench Plumbing Service, I'd have a leaky pipe every weekend.
Tailor - If we were getting our inseam measured by a young hottie in a handmade crocheted bikini instead of some old guy who smells of chalk and barely speaks english, we'd have EVERYTHING custom fit. Jeans and boxers included.
Car Mechanic - She could tell me it was $400 to fix the falangilator that separated from the juwassle valve and I'd pay it. No. Questions. Asked.
Urologist - Think of how much more excited you'd be to hear the words "Drop your pants and bend over the table, please..."
College Professor - You could hold classes on The Hidden Symbolism in 14th Century European Tapestries at 6am and there wouldn't be an empty chair in the room.
Librarians/Bookstore Clerks - Who says guys don't read books? We'd be reading nightly if the nice librarian in the t-back and sexy black-rimmed glasses would just show us the finer points of the Dewey Decimal System.
Butcher - Hot girls in bikinis. And meat. Screw my cholesterol. Someone check my pulse, I'm in Guy Heaven.
Bank Teller - No other reason than we would love to hear a beautiful, nearly naked woman ask us if we would like to leave a deposit.
Postal Worker - Forget email. We'd be snail mailing everything. One letter at a time. Long lines? Incredibly slow service? Yeah, so? It'd give a whole new meaning to the term "going postal".
IRS Auditor - Picture tall, blonde dominatrix-types in leather bikinis showing up to interrogate you about inconsistencies on your 1040 form. I'd have Willy Nelson and Wesley Snipes doing my taxes every year.