Put down your lunch before you read this, I don’t want you choking on your cup of Ramen noodles.
You probably didn’t know this, because you were busy updating your resume to get ready for the job fair, but there’s a California company selling individual luxury ice “spheres”. They are “hand carved in Canada” from frozen purified water, so as not to “contaminate” the premium liquors enjoyed by people wealthy enough to blow $8 on each ice ball.
That’s right. It’s not $8 for a 5-lb bag of them. Or even a 1-lb bag. They are Eight. Dollars. Each.
Maybe it’s the time it takes for ice workers to hand carve perfect spheres. (Which is totally necessary because apparently the rich hate corners. And round ice that comes out of a mold is so last year.) Maybe it’s because each ball comes individually packaged and shipped with dry ice. (And if you don’t see the irony and abject obnoxiousness in using dry ice to ship luxury ice, then you don’t deserve to drink cold beverages.) Or maybe it’s because Glace, the company selling these over-priced frozen water balls, realizes that the rich will pay anything to prove to themselves how much more special they are than the rest of us.
So while half the country is unemployed and searching the classifieds to find a job that’ll pay them enough to feed their familes, we can be comforted in knowing that the wealthy are snuggled in their mansions with special ice balls that keep their ultra premium vodka from being tainted by ice made from tap water. With corners.