On Valentine's Day, while you're finishing up your $400 candle-lit dinner, TLC will take a break from its typical round-the-clock broadcasting of little people and families with litters of kids, to bring us a show that's got information we can actually use to improve our love lives. (Not that watching a little person drive a tractor or some poor guy deal with coming home to 14 kids isn't incredibly entertaining. Because it is.)

At 9pm on Sunday, TLC will broadcast Sextistics: Your Love Life, (preview clip below), a full hour of useful scientific love and dating data, the result of years of research by guys in white coats who've never actually been on a date. But they can tell you the top 3 "don'ts" on a date and how many girls we can check out in a single second and how many orgasms you can expect to have in a lifetime. Research I'm gonna put to good use this weekend...

Here's some of the other interesting "Sextistics" they discovered:
(Disclaimer: Stuff in parenthesis is crap I made up and is not based on any science whatsoever.)

The average man’s ideal women is 60 lbs. lighter than he is. (Apparently Sir Mixalot is not your "average man.")

A woman will get chatted up in a bar six minutes faster if she is wearing make up. (14 minutes faster if she is not wearing underwear.)

Last year, 21% of dates were organized via e-mail and 5% of relationships were ended by text. (And Tiger's text-ended relationships make up 60% of that 5%.)

98% of Americans have experienced unrequited love.

Most men are turned off by a woman who drinks more than 1.5 glasses of wine more than them on a date. (But push it to 4.75 more and we'll start to reconsider.)

12% of marriages are between older women and younger men. (Let's hear it for the Cougars capturing their prey...)

For every $5,000 extra a woman earns over her partner, their risk of divorce goes up by 5%. (So, if she earns $100,000 more than you, start packing.)

Over 2% of all heart attacks have been directly attributed to having a broken heart.

Divorce has been proven to reduce a man's life expectancy by 3.7 years. (Yeah, but what they don't tell ya is that can probably be attributed to dating that pair of 22-year-old gymnasts...)