It's no revelation that we guys have a tough time understanding women. It's been the subject of dozens of "romantic comedies", gave Jim Belushi a longer career than he deserved, and filled enough books to reach to Mars and Venus and back. But when you hear some of the conversations women have when they don't think anyone's listening, you start to gain a little more insight.
The following are pieces of overheard conversation taken from the website,
OverheardInNewYork.com, and its sister site,
OverheardEverywhere.com. Besides being off the charts on the Unintentional Comedy Scale, they are, let's just say, illuminating...
Insight 1: Regardless of how true something may be, they will still be shocked and appalled at us for thinking it.
Hot southern girl #1: So, before I came up here my mom is like, "Be very careful around those northern boys, they think all southern girls just love to cook and fuck."
Hot southern girl #2: Oh my gosh, are you serious? They think that? That's so messed up!
Hot southern girl #1: I know!
Hot southern girl #2: But I really do love to cook... And fuck.
Hot southern girl #1: I know... Me too.
[Overheard in the Union Square Cafe, NYC]
Insight 2: Women may claim to love a guy with a sense of humor, but a huge bank account is still the biggest aphrodisiac.
Woman #1: It's really small, you know, but the sex is wonderful.
Woman #2: You mean he's rich?
Woman #1: Yeah. Exactly.
[Overheard at Union Square]
Insight 3: Role models are important. Ours are athletes, successful businessmen and action heroes. Theirs are just different.
Chick #1: Have I ever told you how much I hate Sex and the City?
Chick #2: Yes.
Chick #1: I just think that if women are going to base their lives around a TV show, it should be a cooler one... like Ninja Turtles.
Chick #2: You're right.
Chick #1: April O'Neil was a good role model. She was interested in reporting the truth and wearing yellow jumpsuits. And nailing Casey Jones. He was hot.
[From overheardatwestern.blogspot.com]
Insight 4: Women have very clearly defined goals.
Girl: Yeah, I need to talk to my adviser about changing my major. I want to be a space girl.
[Overheard at University of Texas, Austin]
Insight 5: Problems aren't problems as long as you are having a great hair day.
Whiny girl: My flight was canceled!
Friend: Oh, no! ...Your hair looks great!
[From overheardatcornell.blogspot.com]
Insight 6: If they don't look good, personality helps.
Girl #1: I'm funny.
Girl #2: No you're not.
Girl #1: Yes I am. Everyone says I'm hilarious.
Girl #2: Of course they do. That's because you aren't pretty.
[Overheard at the Virgin store, NYC]
Insight 7: And it doesn't matter what women do, as long as they're being classy while doing it.
Drunk girl #1: Hey, Ken! How huge was that vagina I drew?
Ken: Yeah, it was pretty big.
Drunk girl #2: It was classy, though.
[Overheard at Kransky's Bar, St. James, New York]
Insight 8: Women have a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything.
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
[Overheard at the Backroom Tavern, Knoxville, Tennessee]
Insight 9: They will always be completely honest and forthright with you. When the timing is right.
Chick on cell: So there's, like, a 10 percent chance I might get eaten by a cougar... if I do tell my boyfriend I fucked his brother.
[Overheard at the Virgin Festival, Vancouver, Canada]
Insight 10: Unlike us lazy guys, women can always find something productive to do with their time.
30-ish blonde: Yeah, my three o'clock appointment canceled, so I lasered off my pubes.
[Overheard in a bar, Newcastle, Oklahoma]
Insight 11: Guys tend to waste time with nonsense activities. Women have their priorities straight. And much more interesting hobbies.
Woman #1: I don't think I can handle a two-hour meeting.
Woman #2:The trick is to doodle in your notebook the whole time; it looks like you're taking notes.
Woman #1: I can design outfits for my cat rodeo!
[Overheard at 330 South 3rd Street, Minneapolis, Minnesota]
Insight 12: We can be so insensitive to their needs sometimes.
Chick: Last night's blind date was so boring.
Guy: Oh, yeah?
Chick: I was so bored I got drunk, but my hair caught on fire from the candle on the table.
Guy: Oh my god!
Chick: I didn't know my hair was ablaze when he threw water on me, and I was like, 'What the fuck are you doing?!'
[Overheard on the D train, NYC]
Insight 13: Your grandmother was right... you can meet good girls in church.
Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she's still a virgin because she's only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.
[Overheard at the New York Public Library, 40th & 5th]
Insight 14: Family is really what's most important to them.
Woman #1: Your boss asked you to be sure to attend the company party at a strip club!?
Woman #2: Yeah, what's so bad about that?
Woman #1: Well, you're going to be surrounded by naked, gyrating ladies, and that's sexist and outrageous!
Woman #2: Really? I was looking forward to seeing my sister.
[Overheard at 630 East Lake, Chicago, Illinois]
Insight 15: Some things are passed down from their mothers from birth.
Mom: Will you look at that -- a shoe store!
Four-year-old girl: Isn't it magical?
[Overheard outside a Payless Shoe Store, Astoria, NY]
Insight 16: Women get upset at the littlest things.
Boyfriend to angry girlfriend: I didn't say you had an awkward body! I said you had awkward breasts!
[Overheard at Camp, Cobble Hill]
Insight 17: Everything is ok, as long as she apologizes.
Girl to boyfriend: I'm sorry I stabbed you after you took me to the circus.
[Overheard at Denny's, Novi, Michigan]
Insight 18: Rationalization is a woman's best friend.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, so John totally wants me to give him head even though I barely know him and we've never even hooked up.
Teen girl #2: That's so weird.
Teen girl #1: I know! It'd be such a slutty thing to do. And I've never even given a blowjob before.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, totally.
Teen girl #1: Then again, I feel like giving head is something I should do before I turn 16.
Teen girl #2: Good point.
Teen girl #1: So I'm totally going to do it.
Teen girl #2: Awesome, I can give you tips!
[Overheard on a Metro-North train in NY]
For more overheard conversations head over to
www.overheardinnewyork.com