[Bobby Rio is a regular contributor to BG in the area of social dynamics and dating, and you can check out Make Small Talk Sexy, his secrets for escalating boring conversations into fun, engaging, sexual conversations.]
Your first date with a woman is the most important. Why? Because if you don't create enough attraction with the woman - there is a good chance you probably won't get a second date.
I've been on a lot of dates. And most of them can be classified into the good, the bad, and the ugly. And most of the "bad" and "ugly" dates occurred because of three key mistakes. And if you can avoid these three mistakes on your first date with a woman - not only will you increase your chances of a second date.
Let's be honest. As men, most of us consider the first date to be successful if we at least get a kiss from the woman. So I'm going to talk about the three mistakes you should avoid if you want to increase the likelihood that you'll get some (and I think you know what I mean by "some"...)
3 Dangerous "First Date" Mistakes
1. Choosing the Wrong Type of Date
I think years of watching sitcom television has led us to believe that the only options for a first date are either taking a woman to dinner or to the movies.
Most men still wind up taking a woman to dinner on a first date. Next to the movies, dinner is probably the worst environment for a first date.
Dinner is way too formal. It places you on opposite ends of a table, and quite frankly, too closely resembles an interview process.
An ideal first date location should be something much more relaxed, an environment that lends itself to fun and flirtation. And no, I don’t mean a coffee shop. Coffee dates are just as bad as dinner dates.
Instead invite her to the mall to help you pick out a pair of shoes, or ask her to meet you for Happy Hour, or challenge her to game of billiards, or mini-golf, or take her to a museum.
2. Treating a Date Like a Job Interview
Have you ever had
a really important job interview? You probably dressed really nice. You rehearsed your answered a hundred times. You went in to the room completely formal with your “hire me” mask on.
A date is not a job interview. So don’t treat it that way.
Don’t look at a date like you’re going into the corner office where the all-powerful woman is going to be judging your worthiness. When you do this, you wind up getting way too uptight and nervous. This will prevent you from relaxing and allowing your “true self” to shine through.
Nothing about a first date needs to be perfect. Everything about a first date needs to fun and relaxed.
3. Not Getting Physical with a Woman
Earlier I mentioned that most men consider a first date a success if the date at least ends with a kiss. In order to get a kiss you must be preparing her for it early on into the date.
But the fact is, most men are so scared of offending a woman that they will not even initiate any physical contact. Physical contact can be anything such as lightly touching her elbow when you talk, putting your hand on her lower back as you guide her through a crowd, or even something as juvenile as thumb wrestling with her.
Remember, the main distinction between a woman you’re friends with, and woman you’re sleeping with... is the amount physical contact that takes place between the two of you.
This means that the sooner you initiate any sort of “touching” you begin to move yourself out of the friend zone and into the position of a sexual man.
From now on, make it a habit to begin lightly and innocently touching a woman the moment the date begins. This is one of the reasons that active dates like bowling, billiards, or mini-golf, work so well... they allow touching to occur naturally.
If you can avoid these three mistakes -
and keep the conversation fun, flirtatious, and sexy - you will dramatically increase your odds of getting some.