The Mitchell Report just got released, and what has most people talking is the fact that it names names. And how shocking some of those named names are. And how unfortunate it is for some of those players whose names were named. We may have expected Bonds and Giambi, but Clemens and Pettitte? Say it ain’t so, Roger.

In honor of the Report’s release we decided to list some other unfortunately named players from sports history. These individuals were blessed with the exceptional physical abilities, yet cursed with a name that could get a play-by-play announcer fined by the FCC.

Here is list of 20 such players, along with the announcer calls we would love to hear:

Dick Pole - Pitcher in the ‘70s
As he is being taken out of the game: “It looks like Dick Pole is getting yanked.”

Pete LaCock - Baseball player in the ‘70s
After a hit: “That’s some sweet stroke on that LaCock.”

Dick Trickle - NASCAR driver
“Dick Trickle has caused a slick racing surface...”
or
“Looks like Dick is coming right up Jeff Gordon’s rear...”

Gaylord Perry - Hall of Fame pitcher
After being suspected of throwing spitters: “Gaylord loves those lubricated balls.”

Boobie Clark - Football player in the ‘70s
“The fans couldn’t take their eyes off that big Boobie all game.”

Reds Weiner - Football player in the ‘30s
After a great game: “Reds Weiner really grew in stature today.”
Boob Darling - Football player in ‘20s and ‘30s
After a good game: “It’s just been too much Boob for the opposition to handle today.”

De’Cody Fagg - Current wide receiver for Florida State University
After a reception: “He fired it in to his wide receiver Fagg...”
or
“Nobody has better hands than Fagg when it comes to grabbing balls.”

Marion Butts - Football player in the ‘80s and ‘90s
“Butts was all over the field today.”

Carlos Boozer - Current NBA player for the Utah Jazz
“Boozer can’t control his dribble.”

Red Cox - Baseball player in the ‘20s
Headline after a win: “Red Cox Burns Yankees.”

Les Cox - Baseball player in the ‘20s
“The opposition always hates to see Les Cox in the game.”

Miroslav Satan – Current NHL player
Headline after a hard-fought shutout: “New York Hails Satan.”

Charlie Fuchs - Baseball player in the ‘40s
As he comes to bat: “Fuchs up.”
(I know it's pronounced "Fyooks", but go with me here.)

Larry Suchy - Football player in the ‘60s
Headline: “Falcons Credit Suchy Play for Victory.”

Dick Butkus - Legendary Chicago Bears linebacker
(Sounds like Dick Butt Kiss. A stretch? Maybe. )

Dick Dickey - NBA player in the ‘50s
“That Dickey is all over the ball tonight, Jim.”

Dick Cox - Baseball player in the ‘20s
“These fans love to see Cox in the outfield, don’t they Jim?”

Tyson Gay - World track and field star
“Gay blew the competition away.”

And finally,
Rusty Kuntz - Baseball player in the ‘80s
“The Tigers just can’t get a hit with Rusty Kuntz all over the outfield.”