Remember back in the day when men were men, mustaches were cool, gas was cheap and muscle cars ruled the roads? Motorbrand USA does, and lets you relive those days with their retro-styled tees that pay homage to the muscle cars of yesteryear.

If there was a car that got mullet-sporting, jean jacket-wearing guys laid - like the Chevy Nova SS, the Chevelle or the big Dodge Hemis - they've got a shirt honoring it. Along with shirts sporting classic designs like Clay Smith's Mr. Horsepower and Ed Roth's Rat Fink.

They'll almost make you forget about that gas sipping, four-cylinder econo-box you have to drive now. Almost.

From around $18
www.motorbrandsusa.com

File this under Guy With Too Much Time on His Hands, And Way Too Many Wire Hangers in His Closet.

After I pick up my dry-cleaning, I usually just toss the wire hangars. But artist David Mach turns his into works of art. Like the menacing Coathanger Gorilla (pictured), made from thousands of hangars that are bent, shaped, and welded together to create this giant sculpture.

Mach has also made hangar representations of a hooker, a portrait of his brother and an astronaut, among others.

To make one of his sculptures, Mach first creates a plastic mold of his subject, bends the standard metal hangars around it, removes the mold and then plates the hangars with silver nickel for durability and shine. Making something incredible from something disposable. And making me feel guilty every time I throw mine away.

You can see more of David Mach's art (including his sculptures made out of matchsticks) at davidmach.com, or for even better pics and an interview with the artist, go to inventorspot.com.

Clothes make a statement. A couple of well chosen accessories can make that statement louder.

I'm not talking about a half dozen gold chains, a pinky ring, or 2 carat diamonds in each ear (although those do make pretty loud statements about you). I'm talking more about things like your dress watch. A pair of unusual cufflinks. Even a designer keyring. Those convey something about you and add to your style without overpowering.

Jewelry designer Lois Hill has a new line of men's silver accessories that'll add style, without anyone having to question your manhood. Make a bold (and subliminal), statement at the office with her silver and black tribal cufflinks. Or grab one of her neckwear or wrist-wear pieces, (I can't, with a straight face, call them "necklaces" or "bracelets"). They're a perfect addition to what you're wearing out to the clubs this weekend. Unless what you were wearing is a purple velour track suit, unzipped down to your navel. Then nothing will help you.

Available at upscale department stores
www.loishill.com

Labor Day is here, and while it may be the official end to summer, (and of wearing white pants anywhere but Miami Beach), it doesn't signal the official end to wearing shorts.

And while most of you have your shorts wardrobe together, some of you need a little guidance. (You, in the light blue, thigh-high 80's short shorts. I'm talking to you.) If you're hitting a Labor Day end-of-summer bash this weekend, and want to impress, here are some key points to remember:

What's Hot Right Now?
I turned to MTV's Official Style Guru and host of "Coltrane's Fashion Attack", Coltrane Curtis for some answers. He says board shorts are still the short of choice for both regular guys and celebs. "You can go with the new boxer-brief style swim trunks only if your body is on point," he says, "but that's about as daring as you should go. Never a banana hammock. Those are a beach buzzkill." Amen, brother.

Steve Fontes, Design Director for legendary surf company Quiksilver , told me one of their hottest sellers right now is an old-school-look short with a 16" side seam (as opposed to the 21" on their typical board short), that hits a couple of inches or so above the knee and has a scalloped side seam on the leg. "The retro styles are going hot," he says, "the scallop leg is coming back, which was in style when we first started. The west coast kids are gravitating to it, and it's creeping to the east coast." Thankfully though, there are no plans to go any shorter.

Know Your Body Style
This is key according to Coltrane. "If you look like Matthew McConaughey you can wear whatever you want," he says. ...More

Old-school, vintage-look, screened T's have been hot for a while now, and they show no signs of slowing down. Retro graphics, wiseass statements, and ridiculous puns are all part of the style package. And it works. Every store's got 'em, and they're seen all over the sand and streets, from Long Island to Long Beach.

So should you jump on the bandwagon and wear one this summer? Sure, why not. You could use a little personality jolt. And they're a good way to get a conversation started with those two blondes sucking down Rum Runners across the tiki bar.

To get an idea of what styles are hot right now, I went to the guys at Local Celebrity. Their all original - and oft imitated - designs helped spark the trend back in the day. And while the cost of other shirts are nearing the $40 range, Local Celeb's 100% "buttery-soft" cotton, custom tailored shirts, "marinated in $$$ sauce for classic vintage look & feel", can be had for about $20. Leaving more money in your pocket to buy Rum Runners.

Here are their top six most requested shirts. (Not counting their best-selling Local Celebrity logo T.) Buy online at www.localcelebrity.com


I've Got a Black Belt in Keeping It Real
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How can you tell when you are in the presence of an idiot with a very large bank account? Look at his shoes. If his laces are sporting more ice than The Archbishop Don Magic Juan pimpin' at the Players Ball, you're standing next to someone with more dollars than sense.

Like putting caviar on a Ball Park frank, Kickbars take something meant to be simple and turn it into something completely unnecessary. For a shitload of money.

Each Kickbar consists of a 24K white gold setting encrusted with 54 round cut diamonds totaling 2.0 carats. Most guys don't go that big on an engagement ring, let alone to make their shoelaces sparkle. And I get it. This isn't for "most guys". But good lord people. Have we run out of reasonable ways to piss away hard-earned cash? Gambling and strippers not enough anymore?

And if showing off with an $8000 pair of sneakers isn't enough for you, they come in junior sizes too. Starting at $6500. Because every kid needs almost seven grand worth of diamonds banging around on their shoes at recess.

www.kickbars.com

Unless you've been in a coma for the last few months, you've experienced all the hype and product tie-ins buzzing around the long-awaited Simpsons movie opening this weekend. Some of it is brilliant. Like the Kwik-E-Mart/7-Eleven store conversions carrying products like KrustyO's cereal, Sprinkilicious donughts and Duff beer, which was not only genius, but according to store sources, doubled traffic and sales in the 12 converted stores. Some of it is ridiculous. Like the Food Network Simpsons Cake Baking Challenge.

And, since the Simpsons has been king of the licensing and merchandise whores for over two decades now, you can be sure a whole new crop of stuff you don't need will be showing up on shelves nationwide. Resist the temptation. Please. Having the Talking Homer Doll on your dorm room desk saying, "Mmmmm beer..." every time girls came over with a six-pack may have made them laugh back then. But having one on your bar at home now just makes them leave. And rightfully so.

...More

Retro gaming tees are hot right now - on the streets of NYC, across the surgically enhanced chests of celebs in LA, on alt-rock band members, and even baby doll T-shirts for the ladies.

And since (according to the Entertainment Software Association) the average age of the modern-day gamer is thirty-three years old (not 12 like your girlfriend keeps insisting), it's perfectly acceptable for a grown man to show a little gamer pride. Especially if you're gonna rock the classics from back in the day. So here are a few that'll show you're a proud level seven geek. With style. ...More

Sure some dress shirts can be laundered at home, but ironing is a huge pain in the ass. And i can never get my shirts as crisp as the dry cleaner. Unfortunately, I am also putting the dry cleaner's kids through college, two dollars at a time.

Brooks Brothers want to make sure your dress shirts, and you, don't get taken to the cleaners anymore. They are among the first retailers to use XLA fibers developed by Dow, which stretch to ...More

Here's your chance to own a piece of guy history: Hugh Hefner is auctioning off some of his iconic silk robes and smoking jackets for charity.

How do you bid to be the proud owner of an old piece of fabric that has rubbed up against an actual Playboy playmate or three? Click over to myQLu.com and place your bid. Up to 70% of the proceeds will go to the charity of Hef's choice, which I believe is the Home for Aging Women with Huge Boobs and No Discernible Skills.

There's other celebs on myQLu.com cleaning out their closets as well. ...More