Labor Day is here, and while it may be the official end to summer, (and of wearing white pants anywhere but Miami Beach), it doesn't signal the official end to wearing shorts.

And while most of you have your shorts wardrobe together, some of you need a little guidance. (You, in the light blue, thigh-high 80's short shorts. I'm talking to you.) If you're hitting a Labor Day end-of-summer bash this weekend, and want to impress, here are some key points to remember:

What's Hot Right Now?
I turned to MTV's Official Style Guru and host of "Coltrane's Fashion Attack", Coltrane Curtis for some answers. He says board shorts are still the short of choice for both regular guys and celebs. "You can go with the new boxer-brief style swim trunks only if your body is on point," he says, "but that's about as daring as you should go. Never a banana hammock. Those are a beach buzzkill." Amen, brother.

Steve Fontes, Design Director for legendary surf company Quiksilver , told me one of their hottest sellers right now is an old-school-look short with a 16" side seam (as opposed to the 21" on their typical board short), that hits a couple of inches or so above the knee and has a scalloped side seam on the leg. "The retro styles are going hot," he says, "the scallop leg is coming back, which was in style when we first started. The west coast kids are gravitating to it, and it's creeping to the east coast." Thankfully though, there are no plans to go any shorter.

Know Your Body Style
This is key according to Coltrane. "If you look like Matthew McConaughey you can wear whatever you want," he says. ...More

Old-school, vintage-look, screened T's have been hot for a while now, and they show no signs of slowing down. Retro graphics, wiseass statements, and ridiculous puns are all part of the style package. And it works. Every store's got 'em, and they're seen all over the sand and streets, from Long Island to Long Beach.

So should you jump on the bandwagon and wear one this summer? Sure, why not. You could use a little personality jolt. And they're a good way to get a conversation started with those two blondes sucking down Rum Runners across the tiki bar.

To get an idea of what styles are hot right now, I went to the guys at Local Celebrity. Their all original - and oft imitated - designs helped spark the trend back in the day. And while the cost of other shirts are nearing the $40 range, Local Celeb's 100% "buttery-soft" cotton, custom tailored shirts, "marinated in $$$ sauce for classic vintage look & feel", can be had for about $20. Leaving more money in your pocket to buy Rum Runners.

Here are their top six most requested shirts. (Not counting their best-selling Local Celebrity logo T.) Buy online at www.localcelebrity.com


I've Got a Black Belt in Keeping It Real
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How can you tell when you are in the presence of an idiot with a very large bank account? Look at his shoes. If his laces are sporting more ice than The Archbishop Don Magic Juan pimpin' at the Players Ball, you're standing next to someone with more dollars than sense.

Like putting caviar on a Ball Park frank, Kickbars take something meant to be simple and turn it into something completely unnecessary. For a shitload of money.

Each Kickbar consists of a 24K white gold setting encrusted with 54 round cut diamonds totaling 2.0 carats. Most guys don't go that big on an engagement ring, let alone to make their shoelaces sparkle. And I get it. This isn't for "most guys". But good lord people. Have we run out of reasonable ways to piss away hard-earned cash? Gambling and strippers not enough anymore?

And if showing off with an $8000 pair of sneakers isn't enough for you, they come in junior sizes too. Starting at $6500. Because every kid needs almost seven grand worth of diamonds banging around on their shoes at recess.

www.kickbars.com