Think you’ve got a sweet gig? Think again. Check out Dr. Mike Harrison. He holds two advanced degrees in polymer chemistry... and simply put, is a genius. And be thankful he is, because he's the guy who's got you covered. Literally.

He's the Chief Principal Scientist at Trojan condoms.

While most of us waste away in cubicles, Dr. Harrison’s 9-to-5 involves perfecting ways of stopping STD’s, unplanned pregnancies and creating some of the boldest innovations to condoms that make the sex you’re having more fun, hotter, and safer (You can thank him later).

And even though he may not be accepting applications for help at this time — here’s the top 5 reasons why Dr. Harrison's job is probably better than yours:

Work Environment
“We keep it pretty light around the office. Yes, we’ve probably had every awkward, red-face, embarrassing conversation you can think of. The dialogue isn’t 'anything goes', but it’s pretty close. We keep things in perspective as we’re doing very serious work. But put it this way: If we used spam filters, nobody would get any emails.”

Job Security
“While other industries have fallen on hard times, Trojan has managed to stay up. (Condom humor.) Couples are still looking for ways to have a good time, and my team has developed products that have given happy couples plenty of reasons to skip the predictable Friday night dating regiment and get straight to the fun.”

Job Perks
“Frankly, a twelve pack of Trojan Magnums (bragging Doctor?) or Ultra Thins beats free paper clips and coffee any day...”

Market Research
“Innovation is at the core of everything we do here, and I take pride in making a better feeling condom. Our research crosses many areas of analysis, but always leads back to merging satisfaction and safety. Plus, product testing has never been this... ahem, in-depth.“

Making Sex More Enjoyable
"Our first and foremost goal is to ensure that you can trust our products to stop the spreading of STI’s and unplanned pregnancies. After safety, the most important thing is coming up with ideas that make sex with a condom the most fun and enjoyable sex you’ve ever had. Like coming up with one of the thinnest condoms ever created (Trojan Ultra Thin) for more sensation, spicing up the way couples feel intimately with lubes like Warm Sensations, products specifically for her pleasure, and our newest invention, the Trojan 2GO, which lets you have protection for the protection, on-the-go, anywhere. I never would have thought I’d become a condom inventor, but it’s creating things like these that make the job so great."