• Grindhouse – Unless you’ve been living in a cave the past few weeks you know all about this action and gore filled full-length horror double feature from directors Tarantino and Rodriguez. Don’t miss the fake trailers between the features, created by guest directors.
Date Index – 1 out of 5. You have to know your girl here. There’s tons of blood and over-the-top splattering blood and other fluids. Unless she’s a third-year film student or has the Kill Bill logo tattooed on her ass, see this one without her.
• The Hoax – Richard Gere is a brilliant but struggling writer who cons the publishing world into buying his phony autobiography of the reclusive and crazy eccentric billionaire, Howard Hughes. (In limited release this week.)
Date Index – 5 out of 5. Nothing offensive or embarrassing here. Sure Gere looks ridiculous in his 70’s hairdo, but it’s still Richard Gere. And she’ll still love him.
• The Reaping – Oscar-winner Hillary Swank plays a former Christian missionary who tragically loses her family, then loses her faith. She heads to the Louisiana bayou to investigate mysterious phenomena thought to be the Biblical plagues. (The only real mystery is why Swank took this role.)
Date Index – 2 out of 5. If your idea of a great date is seeing rivers of blood, frogs falling from the sky and swarms of locusts, go for it. Just expect an uncomfortable religious debate afterwards.