1. Chinese Throwing Stars – Pointy and deadly. ‘Nuff said.
2. Super Glue – Because the world is an imperfect place. If it wasn’t, well, why would an assassin be chasing you?
3. Swiss Army Knife – Terrifying and sharp as the Swiss people themselves.
4. iPhone – To frustrate any assassin trying to type an email or SMS.
5. Morgan Grimes – Clouseau had Cato, Fred had Barney, Tango had Cash… I have Morgan. Mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.
6. Adidas Track Suit – Comfortable, slimming, elegant, enchanting.
7. Butter – What? Butter isn’t delicious?
8. Nintendo Wii – If you’re going to outrun an assassin you better know how to play Wii Tennis.
9. A Spork – As I’ve always said: the best offense is a good defense.
10. Flamethrower – Because sometimes it’s easier to get your point across by shooting fire out of a gun than it is if you don’t have the capability to shoot fire out of a gun.
(Hack my laptop at www.chuckssecret.com)