1. Chinese Throwing Stars
– Pointy and deadly. ‘Nuff said.
2. Super Glue
– Because the world is an imperfect place. If it wasn’t, well, why would an assassin be chasing you?
3. Swiss Army Knife
– Terrifying and sharp as the Swiss people themselves.
– To frustrate any assassin trying to type an email or SMS.
5. Morgan Grimes
– Clouseau had Cato, Fred had Barney, Tango had Cash… I have Morgan. Mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.
6. Adidas Track Suit
– Comfortable, slimming, elegant, enchanting.
– What? Butter isn’t delicious?
8. Nintendo Wii
– If you’re going to outrun an assassin you better know how to play Wii Tennis.
9. A Spork
– As I’ve always said: the best offense is a good defense.
– Because sometimes it’s easier to get your point across by shooting fire out of a gun than it is if you don’t have the capability to shoot fire out of a gun.
(Hack my laptop at www.chuckssecret.com)