In a stunning development, Trump the Human announced in a press release that Trump the Magazine has entered into a strategic alliance with Trump the Vodka. How they were able to fight off competing magazines to score this promotional coup is a testament to the business savvy that is the Trump hallmark.

If you're not familiar with Trump Vodka, it's an "ultra-premium" vodka, one more product in a long line of "ultra-premium" products - hotels, shirts, magazines, water, failing casinos - that bear The Don's name.

The vodka itself is pretty unremarkable, except that it's distilled from wheat, rather than potatoes, rye or grapes, and comes in a really attractive, cork-topped bottle. All flash, little substance, and you'll want to put the cork in it. Fitting.