Today was the last day for submitting entries to win the Bachelor Guy/TravelWorm.com Ultimate Vegas Bachelor Weekend, and I spent the better part of the day reading over the dozens and dozens of entries you guys sent in.
I have to say, you are one Vegas-vacation-needing group of guys. I've never read so many stories of extreme need for drunkenness, desire for female flesh, and craving for debauchery in my life. (With a lot of BG ass-kissing thrown in for good measure.) I honestly want to send everyone. Actually I'd rather take everyone. Some of you sound exactly like the kind of guys I want to spend 48 drunken hours in Sin City with. Next year. BG Bachelor Party in Vegas. Everyone's invited.
Until then, we can only choose one of you to win this trip. While all of you are deserving, and it was tough to narrow it down, below are the five entries (edited for grammar and spelling... don't you guys have spell check?), I've picked as finalists. (And a few honorable mentions that made me laugh.) The guys over at TravelWorm.com and I will pick the final winner, and I will announce it here on Wednesday. That way one of you will have something else to be thankful for on Thanksgiving.
For those of you that didn't win this time, there will be plenty more contests coming up next year. Keep your eyes open.
Here are the finalists:
#1 - You have to love a dad looking out for his kid's dreams.
I want to say that I am some super bachelor and would knock Vegas on its heels, but I am really a single Dad who is working two gigs to pay for lawyer bills to get custody of my son. I missed out on a bunch of friends going last month due to mediator costs, etc. I guess to say I deserve to go because I am doing what a father is suppose to do, might be naive, but I love poker, eating steak and looking at naked super babes. I don't think that I could possibly show my son how to stop and smell the desert flowers if I haven't smelled them myself lately.
Whether I deserve it or not, remember a little boy who has a dream. That dream is to hear his dad spin tales of lap dances at Scores and steaks on the Strip.
#2 - Let your balls roam free.
I'll be honest right up front. My fiancée has got me by the balls. I don't feel much like a man these days with all the antiquing, mother-in-law quality time, agonizing wedding planning (flowers, guestlists, seating, dresses, blah blah blah... kill me now). My Sundays that should be spent watching men ruin each other on the football field are spent finding the right shade of paper and the proper typeface for our invitations. Poker night with the guys? Nope I have to spend the night watching a chic flick because we didn't spend enough time together that day. Don't get me wrong I love the girl, but my balls are in a vice. What I need right now is the ability to reclaim my manhood, let my balls roam free for a weekend (in hopes that they will forgive me for what I've put them through for the sake of marriage). I need to bleed testosterone, gawk at silicone, and hit the black jack table to double-down. The trip would be my antidote to the poison that has been too many girlie activities over the last couple of months. If you select me for this trip I promise to uphold the sanctity of the Bachelor Lifestyle and reclaim my manhood once and for all.
#3 - Speaking of balls roaming free... if his girlfriend wants to let him loose, who am I to say no?
I am actually submitting this entry for my boyfriend who has unfortunately never been to Vegas. He has never been able to put true life experience into the coveted phrase, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Me, on the other hand, I am fortunate enough to have a job that sends me out to Vegas twice a year.
I think everyone should experience Vegas at least once, there is truly nothing quite like a 4-day bender in the city that never sleeps. I appreciate your consideration to let my boyfriend experience the trip of a lifetime... yes I will let him out of the house for this one.
#4 - Go hard, or go home.
I deserve to win this vacation because my friends and I will take full advantage of this trip. There will be no "I think we should stop drinking" and no "Dude, you already had 20 lap dances, lets go".
Don't waste this trip on the un-hardcore. Waste it on us instead.
#5 - Payback shouldn't be a bitch.
For the past 3-4 years my friends have all had well-paying jobs and had basically taken care of me. They have helped me pay for stuff on road trips, bar tabs, sporting events anything I can't afford and they're intrested in going to, they would help me out and bring me along. I have never asked for anything but they always offer. I don't like grubbing and would rather stay home if I don't have the money but they have always treated me well. Now I have a good job and would like to start repaying them by taking them to Vegas. None of us have ever been there but know people who have and it sounds insane. Two of my boys are brothers I have been friends with since grade school, drunken Irishmen who never stop partying. I would like to see if Vegas could break them. The other is a 22 year old guy who has never been with a woman and it kills us all. He's not a bad looking guy, but he's just a little awkward and gets too nervous, vegas would be the rememdy for his problem. I believe taking these three men to Vegas with me would be an ultimate payback for years of support and good times.
Honorable Mention #1
Three years ago a group of four single men went to Vegas for a getaway weekend. The next 48 hours helped to form a lifelong bond of friendship and secrecy. The exact details still cannot be discussed openly but within that brief time period:
-One gentleman vomited on a stripper as well as winning $3,000 at craps.
-Another was propositioned by a hooker with a 5 o'clock shadow on a 3am drunken stagger back to the hotel.
-The third another was thrown out the Hard Rock for repeatedly taunting Dennis Rodman.
-And finally the last was chased out of O'Shea's at 4am for pointing out that the 65 year old cocktail waitress was sporting camel toe.
That weekend ended at 6am on a Sunday when the four emerged from a Del Taco to the harsh reality of sunlight. It was both a triumph of the spirit, yet a sobering thought that they had completely lost track of the weekend and all had to board an airplane in less than two hours to return to their lives and their jobs.
All four of those men are now currently engaged and will soon be too busy changing diapers and folding laundry to engage in a weekend of gambling, pandering and debauchery. I am one of those four and I ask that you allow me the opportunity to return to Vegas. I left my morals and dignity there, and I want to visit them.
Honorable Mention #2
How about a haiku?
Bachelor again.
Married long time. Too too long.
Need Vegas badly.
Honorable Mention #3
Why does anyone deserve this prize? People deserve things because they work hard. They accomplish big and important goals to further mankind.
Useless Men everywhere work tirelessly to achieve greatness, like middle management and its perks: free sticky notes, pens, and paperclips.
By free, we mean stolen.
Honesty aside, the paperclip is a metaphor for success, like that guy that traded one red one for a house! And the trip to Vegas would be our sticky notes! Our well-deserved sticky notes. It may even end our clandestine trade in office supply trafficking. Try swallowing a balloon of thumbtacks, or dumping a ream of 20lb bright white to keep the VP's off your tail.
We deserve to win! It's like cashing in our metaphorical sticky notes for a life altering experience. Sticky notes are our currency, and a trip to Vegas would be our jackpot! This would fulfill our dreams! (Without those meddlesome leprechauns that taunt our REM (and kick our shins)).
And to top it all off, we're so useless that we had to wait until all four of us were married in order to win a contest sending us for the ULTIMATE (and much appreciated) Bachelor weekend in Vegas. Who deserves a bachelor weekend more than a group of married men? Not bachelor’s, I tell YOU!
We don’t just WANT to win. We DESERVE to win because we have already lost so much.