Ever been sitting for hours in bumper to bumper rush hour gridlock and thought, jeez traffic sucks? So did the guys over at Doc Johnson. Only their vision of traffic sucking is a little different than yours.
Designed for “lonely riders on long road trips”, their Auto Suck (with hot-rod action!), is a “world famous road masturbator that plugs into any 12V car lighter” and features a mouth-like tube and a ribbed interior. A remote control operates the vacuum function, giving you a “lifelike experience behind the wheel”. And one hell of an embarrassing police report after your rear-end the car in front of you, mid-“experience”.
(Bonus: The box art alone sends it off the charts on the Gag Gift Meter. You’ve gotta love the 70’s muscle car, the flaming logo, and the guy wearing what appears to be a silk bathrobe while driving. A classic.)